social problems w/ 7 yr old girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2001
social problems w/ 7 yr old girl
Sun, 03-07-2010 - 11:12pm

My 7 yr old daughter is having real social problems at school. She is getting excluded and called mean names by other girls. I have been proactive with playdates and talking with other moms. I also talk to the teacher. But still this goes on. I feel like I don't know what else to do.

I'm wondering if anyone else had these problems and found a way around them. I honestly feel like changing schools, although I know this will probably be the case everywhere. My daughter is not diagnosed but I highly suspect aspergers.

Thanks in advance for any of your comments. It helps so much just to hear other people's stories of having been there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 4:31am
This is a really tough situation and heartbreaking for Mom as well. Does your daughter's school have a guidance counselor? Many elementary schools do now and ours really helped my ds. She ran the lunch bunch program and had other activities aimed at delveloping social skills. The programs were not strictly available to kids with IEPs either, she worked with NT kids too. Does she have a special best friend? The school often paired my son with a boy that was quite mature for his age and had excellent social skills. All the kids looked up to him and his acceptance of ds made the other kids accept him more too. I wish I could offer more help. It sounds like you are already doing many positive things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 4:53am

Welcome to the board. If you suspect Aspergers, I'd try and pursue a diagnosis, because there may be lots of areas in which your daughter would benefit from additional help and support. But in the meantime you can treat it as though it is Aspergers even without a diagnosis and see if the tricks of the trade help.

I would talk to the school about your concerns and see if she can be be assigned, or be encouraged to pair up with a 'buddy', particularly around key trigger points that are difficult for Aspies - eg transitions (like between hallway and classroom, between lessons, between class based learning and recess etc) and around 'unstructured' times (eg playtime, lunch time). Aspies often find these times very stressful and difficult: thjey don't just learn the rules of play by absorbing them the way NT kids do, they have to watch very carefully and ensure that they understand what is going on, and they often suffer from sensory overload eg particularly if is loud and

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