"social skills tutor"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2009
"social skills tutor"
5
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 10:05am

I'm hiring a friend/ student nurse to work as a "social skills tutor" to my son with aspergers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 11:25am

Work with him to set goals. There doesn't have to be a specific timeframe on them -or you can leave timeframes vague (less chance of failure), but set goals like (say) "John will be able to order his own hot chocolate in Starbucks and pay for it." (this may be split into two mini-goals, of course).

The tutor may want to role-play with him first of all to prepare him for questions like the mechanical "whip-or-no-whip?" one typically gets in those places. I mention Starbucks specifically because it was a memorable success at out house; here is the blog post about it if you are interested
http://onesickmother.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/05/other-peoples-c.html

If he is more interested in peer-related stuff (girls?), there may be some books that can help him and the tutor to find suitable goals. My daughter, 10 (also aspie) is in the midst of her first big crush and Himself got her a book called "girlology" http://www.amazon.com/Girlology-Girls-Guide-Stuff-Matters/dp/0757302955/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1275319135&sr=1-1 there are tips in there on talking to boys; how to start a conversation and find common ground. I had a quick look to see if there was a boy equivalent and I couldn't immediately find one, but I didn't search very hard.

I'm thinking that a book like that may help him to find goals to set, you know?

I hope this helps and I wish you luck. Please let us know how it goes.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 3:39pm

you might try asking John what makes him anxious, socially and what he would like to be able to achieve. For example, would he like to be able to go swimming or to the cinema with friends? or be able to go to the store on his own? then your friend could practice this with him, and maybe they could take some digital photos and create a kind of scrapbook of each event, so he has a kind of picture memories of the stages (eg chosing a filim, going to cinema, paying for ticket...or going to the pool, paying for swim, getting changed, putting clothes in locker...or maybe going through having a friend over and making them a snack or playing a game with them...)

hth Kirsty (mum to Euan, 11, Aspergers)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 6:01pm

The hardest thing for Graham to do is to manage his behavior out in public. Who it's ok to talk to. What it's ok to talk about. How to communicate just what is needed, no more, no less. Things like that.

So I think that having them go out on outings and having her coach him would be a great way to utilize her time with him. JMHO.

Great idea though.

Good luck.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2009
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 1:34pm
John is twelve and he'll be going into seventh grade.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 1:14pm
how old is your boy? I forgot, sorry.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com