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| Mon, 08-13-2007 - 11:42pm |
Okay so now I have a diagnosis on my 8 year old son..pdd-nos. So I wonder:
Is there a special way to disclipline him? At this time I am just trying to roll with the punches, and not get too upset when he explodes because I know that he doesn't even notice that I'm upset at him. But other adults watch this and see me just taking it calmly; and I just know they are thinking about how bratty he is and why I won't do something about it. But I just smile at them and go on calmly. Boy you just can't win in our society. If you don't act upset and do something then some adults accuse you of raising a brat...and if you do act upset and lay into your kid then other adults think you are an abusive parent.
And what's his big deal with loud belching and farting. I mean he will literally fall down on the floor laughing about this (weather he does it or someone else does it). Last year in school (1st grade) he disrupted the class for a good period of time because some other kid farted in class! The teacher was really upset.
And when he gets obsessed about something, (right now it's going camping)how long will it take him to "get over it"?
What is a good book I can get to read up on this condition?
We don't use sugar in our diet, but does a certain diet help these kids to behave better?
I have noticed that he will have his good days and his bad days. He kind of cycles, but I havn't noticed a pattern to it. Is this normal?
Oh yea...and he calls me SIR. He always has. it's peculiar. I will instruct him to go do something, and if he is in a good mood, he will sometimes salute me and say loudly "yes sir!" My ex-husband says it's because I let him watch too much star trek. But I don't think so. I believe he was doing this before we got into star trek. Any ideas on that???
any answere you all can give me will help. Thanks in advance. Wanda.

Ah Wanda, just go read my post and we can learn to ignore the other people in this world that they don't matter.
I am still learning, but all I know is that I have to get over on how other people think.
Thats the main issue, don't worry about how other people think when your dealing with your child. I wish I could do this. It takes lots of practice...... But we can do that.
Wanda,
So many questions, and not all of them answerable, unfortunately, because our kids vary so wildly. I will have a go at a few of them.
>>Is there a special way to disclipline him? <<
I generally work on encouraging and rewarding god behaviour and trying to prevent the meltdowns as much as possible by warning my kids of impending changes and trying to support them through incidents which are difficult for them. My kids respond like the sun to a positive word, or a compliment on a little thing like "You dressed yourself nicely today". They never seem to get tired of positive reinforcement.
It works great for me with two kids, because the kid still in jammies will usually then zoom off to get dressed! (I'm bad!). You have to be sure to spread the compliments, so that on is not always complimented, and the other is always the "bad" kid. Because they *will* notice discrepancies...
For negative behaviours, I found the "123 magic" book to be quite good. I know some people on this board have had less success with it, but it has worked well (with some modifications) for me.
I also constantly remind my kids which behaviour is "appropriate" and "inappropriate", because they have no way to figure this out on their own. The belching and farting thing falls into the inappropriate category.
>>And when he gets obsessed about something, (right now it's going camping)how long will it take him to "get over it"?<<
I have no idea, I am sorry. Some kids will be distract or redirected (or forget) Some kids just won't.
>>What is a good book I can get to read up on this condition?<<
This was discussed recently. "The oasis guide to Asperger's" is a good one. I know your son is PDD-NOS, but they are similar enough for it to be useful to you.
>>We don't use sugar in our diet, but does a certain diet help these kids to behave better?<<
Sugar free is EXCELLENT! Some people have had success with gluten-fee, caesin free (GFCF), some have had success with enzymes and probiotics. Some have had success with Omega 3s. Many use a combination.
>>I have noticed that he will have his good days and his bad days. He kind of cycles, but I havn't noticed a pattern to it. Is this normal?<<
I think it is common. If it becomes extreme, you may needs to have him evaluated for a mood disorder, but I think mild mood cycling it is often stress and diet related. That seems to be the case in our house, at least.
>>Oh yea...and he calls me SIR... ...Any ideas on that???<<
I think it's a Spectrum thing. My son still calls me Dad. I have been reminding him and queing him for years now, and he has gotten better but he still "forgets" (a lot!). You might try the appropriate and inappropriate rule with this one, but as it is so ingrained, you may need to have a lot of patience with it.
I hope this helps somewhat. Others may have some more ideas.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
I am by no means an expert. My 5 year old DD doesn't have a diagnosis (but we're really close). I can however let you know some of the thingss that have worked for us.
Discipline. I go with the Explosive Child take. I tried 123 Magic and didn't have a lot of success. The Explosive Child is a lot about picking your battles. Then once I've picked my battles I take a Love and Logic take of allowing for natural consequences.
When it comes to meltdowns in public I take a very understanding approach. I'm getting really good at ignoring other patrons and just going about my business. DD is a runner and I have gone to putting her on a leash. You can imagine the looks I get from that. I ignore those too, because I know I'm doing what I need to do to keep my child safe.
Being a social worker that investigates child abuse I have the benefit of the knowledge of what really is abusive, and can work with my child without worrying that I'm over doing it.
Obsessing: Emma gets stuck sometimes and doesn't move on. Other times she can be redirected for a while. Some of her interests I encourage. I help her get more information about it so she can learn about it. Sometimes she eventually gets bored of it and moves on.
Reading: I'm currently reading The Parents Everything Guide to Aspergers. It's a really basic book written by an Aspie. It's an easy read that I can easily pass on to family when I'm done with it.
I haven't done anything with diet. I've read a lot about it. We are pretty close to sugar free, but when she gets it, I don't notice a change in her behavior.
Emma has good and bad days too. They seem to be tied to her sleep. If she doesn't get enough sleep she becomes more "sensitive" and is more easily overwhelmed. We had one today. We use Melatonin to help her get better sleep after a bad day like today.
Hope that helps. Welcome to the board.. . there's lots of answers flowing on the board. Stick around.