Store "lights"

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Store "lights"
15
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 4:36pm

I was planning on going to the grocery store today. But the boys wanted to go to the toy store. I told them that if we went to the toy store...we would then go to the grocery store before we came home. Nathan, of course, did not like this idea. I was going to go anyway, but......

Right as Nathan was finishing up lunch, he spilled his juice. And went into a complete meltdown!!!! Sooooo, it took me awhile to calm him down and wipe up the mess. And I've decided that it would be best to stay home now.

Anyway, back to my post! I asked Nathan why he didn't like going to the stores. Is it too loud, or is it the lights? Do the lights bother you? (I hear about the lights being bright and humming, but he's never mentioned this, so I thought I'd ask) As he was eating, he said, "it's too loud!", then he kinda blinks his eyes and covers them lightly with one hand, and says, "and the lights." So I asked, "what do the lights do to you? why don't you like them?" And he says, "they burn....my eyes."

I DID NOT KNOW THIS. It's so amazing how he always does this. I get bits and pieces of info from him. I learn something about him all the time. He's never told me that he doesn't like the lights. And I have mentioned them before. He says it's all the stores, no store in particular. But home and school are fine. Interesting, hhmm.....

michelle

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Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:25pm

That is really interesting. I think it would be very hard to tell people what is not normal when it is your normal. I know a lady who had a pain in her foot so she simply accomodated for it by putting more weight on the other foot. (trying to keep the story short). She just did that for the longest time until she ended up damaging the other foot too since it had to compensate all that time. Sometimes we don't complain if all we have to do is squint or something. Or that we may be too young to know that this is not what others experience.

It's very very good he could tell you that. I am often amazed too. Sounds like you asked the right questions! I wonder what it is about stores as opposed to home or school lights? Maybe it has to do with the lights in the store being on higher ceilings, then perhaps needing stronger lighting? How does he do on a sunny day outside?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 7:55pm

This reminds me of when I got my glasses.

I am blind as a bat. I didn't get glasses until 4th grade. That was when the teachers and my mom started to notice me squinting. I remember very well one day we were stuck in traffic and my mom asked me what the licence plate in front of us said. I said in all seriousness "what licence plate". I honestly couldn't see it. And my mom could and explained to me that I should be able to see it.

Why tell you this? Until that point I had no clue there was ANYTHING wrong with my eyesight. That was MY normal. When I got glasses for the first time I can vividly remember the world became so clear it was almost overwhelming. I had NO idea that is how the world looked or how I was supposed to see.

Mike has a hard time in stores. I have tried to ask him and it is really hard to get an explaination of what bugs him and I think this is part of why. It is just normal for him. KWIM? Sometimes I might get a little insight or explanation like Nathan just gave you. I love those moments! It is like an A HA! Because when we have some sort of understanding of WHY on these things it makes it so much easier to deal with.

Glad he was able to tell you about it.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 9:32pm

I have a friend (NT) who goes completely spacey in BJs because of the lights. She says it is common for certain types of light to disorientate one, but I don't know where she got that from.

May Aspies and Auties are sesnitive to bright lights. Try bringing sunglasses to the store the next time, and see if they help Nathan. Peter went almost a whole year wearing these orange-lensed "Bono" style sunglasses, but they helped him to funcion in bright sunlight and stores. ...and he looked pretty cool!

If he won't wear sunglasses, a baseball cap may help (or both).

'Nother thing is the noise, of course. Florescent lights emit a high-pitched whine, which many Spectrum people can hear. Throw in fridges, freezers and cash registers, and you have high-frequency city!.

-Paula

, but

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 9:53pm

LR,

Actually, Nathan doesn't like the sun either. He hates it when the sun shines thru the car window!! It's one of the reasons he doesn't like the window down, because the sun shines brighter. Of course, he also doesn't like the bugs either....that's the other reason!!! He also doesn't like the heat from the sun, so he's usually in the shade as much as he can be.

I'll suggest the sunglass thing, Paula....but I don't think he'll do it. He has to LOOK like everyone else. He's very conscience of this.

I did think it was pretty cool that he told me this. He's never commented on the lights bothering him before.

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 10:54pm
Michelle,
Jakes is really sensitive to sunlight or any kind of light and of course it dosen't help that he has my Irish skin and hair. He would never wear hats or glasses when he was younger but he will wear sunglasses now in the car and in the stores. It really helps a lot if you can stand the odd looks you get while out shopping(LOL). I agree it is a little odd to see a child wearing sunglasses in the middle of winter at Target but if it makes Jake more comfortable and my life easier who cares?
Teresa
Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 11:53pm

Our local Safeway does this thing that is meant to be cute, but Nathan hates it. There is a sprinkler that comes on to mist the vegetables, and they've got little flashing lights and thunder sound to make it look like a rainstorm. Real cute. Well, Nathan isn't official dx with anything, but more and more I'm realizing that certain sounds actually hurt his ears, or cause him some kind of distress. The "thunder" sound is one of them.

Also, I personally have a hard time in supermarkets because of the bright lights. Actually, I'm not sure if it's the lights, or just the visual clutter and overload of all the STUFF. Bright lights, 100 varieties of Oreos, Air Supply warbling from the speakers, shiny floors, faint smell of bleach and fish. (I go at 10 pm, otherwise there are big crowds, too.) I do tend to get pretty disoriented. If I have to be dealing with the kids on top of all that, it's pretty much impossible.

I don't know how typical this is of NT people (assuming I'm NT; I suppose one could make a case against that. LOL!) But, I totally sympathize with anyone who gets overwhelmed in the whole shopping experience.

Evelyn

Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:57am
It makes me wonder if stores have lighting that is closer to more daylight or outdoor light (than homes or schools would)? I have always sneezed at sunlight (or other bright lights). My daughter could not handle being out on a sunny day for too long and I noticed it makes her use her peripheral vision more. She is also self conscious of things that make her different. Perhaps the whole family should wear sunglasses then so she won'r stick out in the store. LOL She has a blanket over her head when we drive around in the car. It's funny because in our state, you are not permitted to fill your own gas tank. I get a lot of surprised looks from the gas attendants. I've had a few comments from passerby's in the parking lot too when we come to a stop and off flies the blanket. My next fear is getting pulled over for kidnnapping or something. LOL Watch for me on the 6 o'clock news, I might need some witnesses. I guess for some reason it's okay in her mind to have a blanket over your head, but not sunglasses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:36pm

Hi!

Your post makes me wonder if your little one might have migraines. My sister, daughter, son and I all have migraines. Lights and loud noises really bother us when we are having a migraine, and some people can have migraines in a chronic way. It is very possible he is bothered by light and noise for this reason, and he can't explain why. The fact that he said the light burns his eyes calls for further investigation by his physician to rule out migraines as a cause.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 9:20pm

I am glad Nathan shared this with you. It is very interesting and helps you figure out how to make things easier for him.

LR, My son also likes to put a blanket over his head in the car. I thought he was the only one who did this!(besides Michael Jackson's kids! LOL) I know Eric likes to do this at home in bed, and I always interpreted it as a sensory, deep pressure kind of thing, but in the car he clearly says it is due to the light.

Eric is sensitive to sunlight in the car, but on the playground or in the pool, he doesn't mind it. I wonder why? He hates sunglasses though, not for fashion or looking different, just doesn't like stuff on his face that way, prefers the blanket. I don't know why.

As for store lights, Eric has told me about the sound so I am assuming it is the fluroescent light hum he hears too. He likes one particular grocery here that has low lighting (to conserve electricity)and he goes nuts in Target which has big bright lights. I assumed in Target it was all the many overstimulating factors, and the light must be one.

Katherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 9:22pm

LR,

That's so funny about what you said about pumping your own gas. Here where I live....everyone HAS to pump their own gas. And you have to go inside to pay. Finally, the debit card came around, so you can pay right there at the pump. It's hard when you have to drag your kids inside, just to pay!!! The kids really hate that!! And I hate having to stand in the freezing cold AND the extreme heat we get here.....just for gas!!!

I try and stretch my gas...til dh is off of work. Then I make him go fill my tank up!!! He's so sweet. He'll do it everytime!!

michelle

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