Stupid reason to be sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Stupid reason to be sad
12
Sat, 03-17-2007 - 1:33pm

But i was just the same.

I ran into an old aquaintance at the coffee shop yesterday morning. This was the mom of the one guy Mike had made friends with in kindergarten. They both loved legos and it was pretty much the only kid who has ever invited Mike over just for being Mike. Well it never worked out well at the house since Mike had more interest in the legos than the friend and would have behavior troubles. This was before we admitted Mike was on the spectrum.

Mike was "friends" with this boy in K and 1st grade. By 2nd grade the kid really wanted no more to do with Mike and half way through 2nd grade we changed Mike's placement to a different school.

She asked if Mike was still on all those meds. I think she was trying to hint to find out what ever was up with him. It was a brief encounter so I didn't get to talk long.

I guess what made me sad was the memory of Mike having a friend and how far we have gone in the other direction. Plus hearing that this boy is doing well, involved in ...., etc. Ugh.

I mentioned seeing her to Mike. He wouldn't really admit to remembering the boy but I know that even as of last year he still listed him as one of his "best friends".

Oh well.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 7:57am

Oh, Renee...BIG HUGS!

You have every right to feel sad and I'm right along with you. Your post made me cry, because I can relate to how you feel. My DD is still too young to have many friends yet but I totally understand.

I recently posted a thread on the ASD board about how sad I get when I see some NT kids my DD's age. I'm sure I'll be experiencing even more of these emotions as time goes on.

You're not stupid, you're human.

Hugs Again,
Dizzy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:55am

Dizzy,

Actually it gets better as they get older. Part of the reason I felt stupid. You come to accept and enjoy who they are and their own accomplishments. Eventually you do stop comparing them to "typical" children so much and enjoy their uniqueness.

Overall it gets easier, not harder. I guess I always was just sad for Mike that he couldn't keep that friendship. And thinking a little more deeply on it I felt bad for myself as well. You see, that mom and I were becoming friends and then that became the time when I started really pulling away from everyone. Mikes behaviors were very difficult and embarrassing. I stopped sociallizing with alot of folks for a couple years and lost touch with many people. Thank god for this board because they became my friends.

Now I am in a much better place. We don't hide at home anymore. We were able to get Mike's behaviors to a place where we can do more things and we also have no fear about explaining to others that he is autistic and thus maybe doesn't understand, is overwhelmed, etc. We are able to more enjoy him for just the quirky little guy that he is.

You will get there too. It doesn't get worse, honest. At least not that part. Now having to deal with them becoming more independent.....well......that is just mom scary stuff, lol.

Renee

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