Sudden aversion to water :-(
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| Mon, 08-01-2005 - 12:22am |
Oh dear...this is going to be rough...Yesterday we were at a friend's house. For days now I've been taking the kids around the circle to a fire hydrant that CGPD opens up for kids to splash in since there isn't a pool here in housing. Megan's been just fine. Loving it. So I was very surprised when she totally flipped when my friend turned on a sprinkler for the kids. She just screamed and RAN, flapping her hands...just in TERROR... I caught up with her, and all she could say was "I gotta go home!" So I took her home. She calmed down as we walked, and was just fine inside. After a little bit, we were able to go back to friend's. Megan was fine (friend had turned the water off) the rest of the day. Got her home and put her in the bath (she was muddy) to her screaming and fighting me.
Since we've been inside all day, I didn't intend to give her a bath today. Well, then Megan puked. She was lying on the floor for a diaper change when it happened, and she doesn't know to turn her head. I wasn't quick enough, and it got all over her hair and down her chest. So I had to give her a bath, and it was more of the same...the crying and screaming about "I scary! I scary! No baf! I Scary!"
I just kept telling her that I would take her out as soon as she was all clean, and that I had to wash the ickies out of her hair and off her body. At one point, I was able to get eye contact with her so I said "Hi, Meggie! I see you. I know you are scared. We are almost done, hang in there" and she just nodded and said "Uh huh" with those big sad eyes that about break my heart because I know she is there and she's just not understanding why Mommy is making her do something scary.
We got out, and went into the living room to dry off. I gave her a big hug and told her I was proud of her, she got through it even though it was scary. She said "An I all cwean now?" so I said "Yes, baby, you're all clean now."

You don't say how old Megan is, but we went through a similar phase. Sounds very sensory-based, esp. the shower sprinkler. Running in a hydrant is much more preditable and in her control as to when there will be water contact. Sprinklers fly bits of water at you, very very sensory scary. And the bath part may have been more about you washing her off, also aftermath of just having thrown up, very sensory-disorienting?
Our son would not let us immerse him in water and particularly not his HEAD for several years starting from about age 3 - 5, and was also terrirfied of showers. One of the things we did when needing to wash hair (besides let him scream 'cuz that was involuntary) was to place a standing mirror where he could see himself during the process so he could see when the water was coming onto his head. We would say "I'm pouring now, water is coming", etc. Also, we would have him hold a washcloth over his face and ears to help modulate his physical sensations during the pouring. And one of us would get in with him and hold him in a tight comforting hug while pouring water. At first, this was a 2-person operation! And then sometimes I would just "wash" his hair with a washcloth and no pouring water.
It took him over 3 years of swimming lessons with kind teachers before he finally put his head under water. Also, he learned to run in sprinklerss after a few years of watching other kids do it. When he finally started to do it, it was practically one toe at a time and holding his best friend's hand!!!
Now that he's 8, he takes showers, swims like a fish, and washes his own hair in the bathtub. But he's currently pretty frightened of flying bugs like flies or gnats, that come at his face like a sprinkler.
Nathan doesn't like water in his face. He's ok in the bathtub....loves to take baths. But he's very cautious in the pool, and won't run thru sprinklers. If he gets water in his eyes, he runs for a towel, and wipe his face a billion times!!
We tried swimming lessons, but he didn't like the fact that he had to go under water.....so he told me that he didn't want ANYMORE LESSONS!!! I think it's just going to take some time for him. And when he's ready, he'll let me know. As he's gotten older, I do see him trying things....when he doesn't think I'm watching. He does want to be more independent, but his fears get in the way at times. I've learned not to push him. But I do same as you did with your daughter, I get eye contact and talk him thru things. I explain everything him, and that usually calms his nerves. And if we go somewhere, like to a pool or to someones house where water is involved......I give him a choice to participate or not. It lessens the stress for everyone!!! And he feels more incontrol too!
Michelle
Try to figure out what the aversion is. For example, in the bath, it could be the noise of running water. If so, keep her out of the bathrom and keep the bathroom door closed while running the bath.
If it is fear of water itself; start small. Try placing a basin of water out in the back yard with some toys in it for her to play with. She can stay fully clothed, and still play with it, only getting her hands wet. Perfectly safe, and she is in conrol. If that works, place the basin in the tub, and put her in the tub (dressed) to play with it there. If she is OK with that, you can maybe wash her that way for a day or so (undressed, obviously!), if her hair will last that long without getting too horrible.
Next progress to a little bit of water in the bath (and the same toys), -maybe not even enough to fully cover her feet at first. For many kids, they are OK if they know their face cant be immersed in water -if they can lie down in the bath, and the water does not go on their face. -Lie her flat and use a cup to rinse her hair. Filling the sink or your trusty basin with clean water warm (beforehand, if posible) will make this easier. Each night make the bath a litle deeper. It may take awhile before you can make it deep enough to cover her face, but this method should enable you to wash her with minimum fuss. All the while, re-enforce the notions that water is fun, and she is safe.
Good luck. It may take some time before you can take her scuba diving to the Great Barrier Reef (LoL), but for me; tiny, steady steps, have yielded great long-term results.
HTH
-Paula
P.S Stay clear of showers and sprinklers for awhile!
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Oh yes. We've had some wierd stuff with water too over the years. The shower and other sources of squirting water freaked out Cassian for a while, yet he loved the pool. He also had a thing about going under water and staying there. I would "rescue" him and he would come up sputtering and choking, but he wanted to go under again and again. He'd just sit there underwater looking around, probably hyperfocused. He just didn't seem to have the survival instinct to come up. He may have even liked anoxia. Anyway this terrifed DH and I. Swim teachers would comment that his survival response should kick in and we should leave him underwater. However, I pointed out to every one of them that if you have an abnormal brainstem, as Cassian probably does, this might not happen. I would then ask if they had ever worked with an brain-injured or autistic child or if they had had a class in neuropsychology or neurology - - never found a single swim teacher who answered this sort of question "yes."
Anyway, yes it happens, but for what it's worth, I think Meghan showed great self-calming skills for her age when you had her in the tub. I don't think Cassian shows this same level of self-calming at age 5.5! It's something that you can build on, anyway. I hope this doesn't put a dent in your other summer plans.
Suzi