Suspended from school- need help with ideas for the meeting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Suspended from school- need help with ideas for the meeting
16
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 3:24pm

My 10 year old was suspended.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009

Okay Ivillage is so confusing now! I can't even tell who I've replied to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
So sorry about Euan and the field trip! Reminds me of how my son was when he was younger (and how my son might be again soon if he doesn't get help).

It's frustrating because the school does not see this as aspergers, they see it as he was homeschooled and he needs to be in a lot of trouble and will be fine soon. yeah right. This is his best.

Thanks for the reply! Maybe someone else at the meeting will get it and be helpful :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
See, that's what I expected! He would go to the office and stay there all day or at least until he calmed down... or even just had me go get him and come back the next day. Not suspension, that's just so harsh. It's one thing to say I'm going to go do this bad thing today, and another to just lose it

What social worker do you mean? He doesn't have one...

The meeting is tomorrow so we'll see what happens. There will be a more formal meeting in a couple weeks to see about special services.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
There's this in IDEA:

http://idea.ed.gov/explore/view/p/%2Croot%2Cregs%2C300%2CE%2C300%252E534%2C

We have an "informal meeting" coming up tomorrow to discuss how we can help him then in a couple weeks well have a more formal one to discuss special services, etc. The principal seems sure he can't qualify for anything, maybe anger management or behavior. His teacher says he's great... We'll see what happens at this informal one tomorrow.

Yes I agree about aides- a good aide would be wonderful but one who doesn't know would possibly make things worse...

Sorry you've had to explain your son so much to people who don't get it, good to know I'm not alone though. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
I thought I replied to this earlier. Thank you. So sorry your boy had a hard time like that and hope he's doing better now. Everything went well after the suspension- he woke up super early and went back back to school super happy- he held the flag for the ceremony and had a class presentation and everything was fine. We'll see!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
I agree that there need to be consequences but I think they gave too big of one. He had only been in the office once before that for behaviour. They could have had him cool off in the office. Or just sent him home. He could have had an in school suspension that day. He could have been sent home and suspended for that day. Maybe it's just me, but I think it was too big of a punishment. He's not seen as a bad child there.

Here's a link to something interesting, since I did inform the teacher and principal if his disability and how it effects him:

http://idea.ed.gov/explore/view/p/%2Croot%2Cregs%2C300%2CE%2C300%252E534%2C

Sec. 300.534 Protections for children not determined eligible for special education and related services.

(a) General. A child who has not been determined to be eligible for special education and related services under this part and who has engaged in behavior that violated a code of student conduct, may assert any of the protections provided for in this part if the public agency had knowledge (as determined in accordance with paragraph (b) of this section) that the child was a child with a disability before the behavior that precipitated the disciplinary action occurred.

(b) Basis of knowledge. A public agency must be deemed to have knowledge that a child is a child with a disability if before the behavior that precipitated the disciplinary action occurred--

(1) The parent of the child expressed concern in writing to supervisory or administrative personnel of the appropriate educational agency, or a teacher of the child, that the child is in need of special education and related services;
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
The school can suspend a child with a disability for no more than 10 days. They can only suspend him if they would suspend a typical child in the same situation.

Tom got suspended for hitting a teacher because that is in the school district's policy handbook. You hit a teacher, you get suspended. So he did.

If your school hasn't started the evaluation process this can be a good stepping stone to get that in motion.

For us, the suspension was a huge wake-up call for the school. It finally got them to realize that he had serious issues that they couldn't continue to blow-off.

And ((hugs)) to you because it sucks to have your kid get in trouble for doing things that are wrong but that are probably not 100% his fault.

Heather

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009

Thanks so much guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008

Unfortunately, I am pretty sure this is not the last time this will happen. We have had some success with this now we have a proper diagnosis and support from autism-trained specialist outreach workers, but it is still a completely uphill battle to get people to understand what the difference is between ASD-related behaviour and what the school see as 'bad' behaviour that needs a sanction. I can remember sitting there planning with Euan's teachers over a school trip to an outdoor activity centre for a week. We went over and over the different things that Euan couldn't cope with, what might go wrong, etc etc. I *thought* they had listened to me. Oh no. On the penultimate day he got sent home for attacking a teacher. Well, of course, it wasn't 'attacking a teacher', it was a complete meltdown because he'd fallen in the water and got upset and the teacher yelled at him and 'broke the rules', and he had to be sent home because the school had backed themselves into a corner and told everyone that 3 behaviour warnings = being sent home and he'd already had warnings for getting lost and for arguing with a pupil over the fire warning 'rules'. I got into a complete strop over this.

But it was actually a good thing, in the long run, because it did remind people that I was not *making this stuff up* and that Euan genuinely did need help! So if you can bear it, I would try not to see this as a terrible thing, but as an opportunity to point out to the school exactly what kind of help and support your DS needs, and to stand up for him and make sure he gets it. Like another poster said, it's amazing how quickly they back off if you start mentioning accommodations that might be more expensive/difficult, and how they come around when they see evidence of things not working in combination with a parent willing to stand up for their child.

Good luck.

Kirsty, mum to Euan (12, Aspergers Syndrome) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008

The two or three times that Graham has been suspended it's either been a very serious offense that they just felt could not go without some sort of action, or it was something that they had to tell the parent of another student what action had been taken.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Pages