a sweet quote from my son
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a sweet quote from my son
| Fri, 01-20-2006 - 10:51pm |
Weston (9, HFA) came home yesterday and said "It's pretty great to have autism" I almost fell off my chair and said "why do you say that?" He said, "well, I don't get in trouble for talking in class" and proceeded to tell me that the article he'd read at school talked about people w/ autism having a difficult time w/ speech and not talking very much. He has great teachers this year, they have made a wonderful environment for him to learn, and they've made it a positive to him and his classmates that he has autism.
Betsy

Dear Betsy,
I actually wept a little with joy for you and Weston, and jealousy/frustration for us at the thought of a class and teachers who are making learning a joy and a classroom of advocates for autism ... how fabulous and perfect world!!! If only, if only ...
And of course my frustration is only at the thought that Malcolm could perhaps also do so well with NT peers, if the schools where I live weren't completely chaotic, etc. BUT Malcolm is doing terrific where he is, and for the past few weeks, his RDI class at ASD private school has been working on teasing, what it is, what it isn't, what friendly teasing is and how it feels, how to do it, when to stop, what to do if you are not enjoying the teasing, etc.! This is sometimes an area of difficulty for Malcolm, and it is cool to see him considering it all in light of a research project LOL.
Anyways, congratulations and best wishes for the fabulous school year to continue, and forever!
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Thank you, Sara!
This year hasn't been perfect, but it's been pretty darn good! I am so thankful for Weston's teachers & therapists and all they have put forth for him this year. He has found new areas of interest-- including football, reading for fun! and weather. He's feeling more comfortable in his own skin. He continues to astound us with how far he's going in math. They have been careful to make sure his classmates understand that he's different but different can be good. (this is amazing when you're talking about a school in SC where different is not usually good, in fact stereotyping is rampant! including racially, socio-economically, physically, etc.) It's actually rubbing-off out of the classroom for some of these kids as well! Weston went down the street last week and played football with some of the kids that just this summer were horrible to him and made him cry and retreat into himself at the pool and on the playground! His teachers really seem to LOVE every kid they have.
I'm a little concerned that the social instruction has not been what it should be, but they don't quite know where to put him and this is the drawback to having him in his home school vs being bussed for the autism program in another school in the district. Weston does NOT understand teasing at all. He tells people like it is (even when it's really negative) and doesn't understand the social ramifications of that. He thinks people are being mean when they tease and laugh, because he takes everything literally (he ate an ant at a picnic this summer when my mom teasingly told him they were a good sorce of protein).
I only wish the school district and teachers were as good for all students-- I think in some ways we are getting what we need because we fought and pushed so hard (I did nothing last year but research and plan for IEP meetings!). I wish other parents could get the same. I even wish it was so good for all disabilities.
Any word on the move to a new school for Malcolm? I keep hoping to hear that all is taken care of and his move was smooth sailing.
the best to you!
Betsy
Betsy,
I felt like Sarah did when I read your post - both thrilled for you, and wishing Alex could be in a situation like that!!! If you didn't see my previous posts, we just moved last summer to a rural area, after being in a wonderful school system with wonderful teachers. Our current school is "okay", but they are definitely not as prepared for an Asperger's child like Alex. Being in the third grade, I'm SO concerned about the social issues for Alex. I wish the school would do more in teaching the entire student population about disabilities, differences, etc. I think I need to step up to the plate and push for it...
Just curious, how and when did Weston know of his autism? I've been slowly answering Alex's questions about him being different, as I'm so afraid I'll overwhelm him or scare him. He's heard us talk of Asperger's many times (he asked once, "what are aspergers? - LOL). He knows he learns in a different way than other and needs help keeping focused, but we haven't gone into TOO much explanation. I have the book, "Aspergers, Huh?", but haven't given it to him yet. Would love to hear your experience with Weston's knowledge of his disability.
It's SO thrilling to hear that a child is being accepted by peers - it's such a struggle for our kids sometimes!
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie
Dear Betsy,
Thanks for remembering, well, Malcolm hasn't moved quite yet. We are waiting for BOE and State of NY to sort out some brand new red tape state law-type proceedings that noone has really had to go through yet (we are the lucky first) and everyone in administrations of both schools plus local funding office plus state committees are all working on figuring out and finishing the twists and turns of having Malcolm change schools under these new regs!!! One of the (completely unnecessary but legally required) hoops we had to go through was having a complete psych-ed reevaluation done by BOE, even though he was completely evaled the year before and those are legally current, don't ask. Malcolm was a complete trooper about doing it, did great (5 hours, nice evaluator), the BOE didn't even look at results, but they needed to be able to check a box that said they did it to justify to State the move, etc. etc. etc. All is OK, just more hoops to come, and hopefully very soon done (?)
Malcolm is holding up well. He is completely excited about the impending change, and slightly impatient about how much longer he must wait, which we totally don't know, could be a week, could be a few months (man, I hope not)... We are loading him with fun activites to help him feel less impatient. LOL He is slightly loathe to work out some small differences with his current bus matron and one of his assistant classroom teachers he is having a few conflicts with, as in "What's the point, I am changing schools soon anyways!!" Mmmmm hmmmm.
We have set up a few playdates with kids who will be in his class, several of whom he knows from other settings and previous schools, next I am planning playdates that will include current classmates and future classmates. Anyways, I will write all about it when the change happens. As we already know the new school and staff very well, this could actually be pretty smooth transition when we finally get there.
Funny you should talk about how hard you had to fight for what you've got. I feel like we have to always fight that hard, too, and here Malcolm is being taught by small private schools and experts in SID and PDD-NOS. They just have to still be taught every year head to toe about all things Malcolm.
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Hi Laurie,
We knew that something wasn't quite "normal" with Weston from preschool on, however, we had teachers and our Dr and our parents and even DH that kept saying he's fine, he's the 3rd child, etc. In first grade the teacher kept telling me how smart Weston was, but how immature he was. She also kept saying, you'd better get him to change 'this this and this' and she's say, "kids are noticing how different he is, he needs to change that". However she wouldn't refer him for eval by the psychologist, and the school kept putting us off because they didn't think he had a speech problem, (he's just being stubborn and not talking). Finally, in 2nd grade the teacher thought we should medicate him because she was sure he had severe ADHD-- no it was severe SID and I had known he probably had that for awhile. When the team was evaling him for the ADHD, the speech therapist said, 'I think there is much more going on here'(um, I told them that 2 yrs before but they wouldn't do anything). We had a full eval from the school-- they didn't want to do anything, but the OT really pushed to get more done in the classroom, teacher wouldn't do 1/2 the stuff. We moved at the end of that year to SC. Weston knew then that he was getting speech therapy because he had a hard time w/ talking. He also knew that he was different and most of the kids and teachers didn't like him because of it. He also knew that the OT and the principal were on his side and were 'nice people'.
After we moved he went through more testing in the SD here. They were ok, but not doing what I thought really needed to be done and Weston was falling further and further behind socially. We had him evaled by the state division of autism. They Dx'd him w/ HFA-- I think in part because his SID was so out of control this summer and because he really does just check out during social times. He was 8 3/4 when Dx'd. He knew they were testing him and the psychologist from the Autism division talked to him and explained some of what she was doing and why she was talking to mom and him. Then, this year (4th grade just turned 9 in Aug) his teachers & OT felt he was ready to take on some responisibility for his disorder-- and I agreed. We talked to him about it. Then his teachers talked to his classes. They really made it a positive and had the kids list things that were good about Weston that he does really well. They also had the kids try to think of things that they do that are just like Weston, that other kids might think are weird. The teachers talked about how they often do things that are a little like kids w/ autism. They had given the kids the option of reading some non-fiction articles about autism and asperger's (also hearing impairments and blindness, and other handicapping diseases or disorders) for reports in LA. They continue to make sure that the kids are trying to include Weston in group activities. The math teacher plays football with the kids at recess. Weston has decided that he will be a center! The other kids all want to catch passes or run the football, Weston would rather do something important that isn't the star possition. He's found the perfect niche-- at least for now, he doesn't have to be quite so athletic as the others and he can still be part of the game. (it took a really cool teacher who happens to be a Packers fan as well to get him to this point) Anyway, we are really blessed this year!
Weston currently gets his social skills instruction during speech -- he gets an extra 15-20 min a week for that. And they have him working on social skills w/ the resource teacher during Wee Deliver (the USPS school postal system), he works w/ other kids (NT and LD and others) to sort, cancel, & deliver mail, etc. They've had to be very creative to come up w/ things that fit him and I've had to be very pushy to get them to do that! I also have had to casually suggest that I could bring in someone from the Autism society to help them come up w/ a plan-- then they got their autism specialist on the case asap.
I hope you get something for your son! It's so nice to have this, I'm just enjoying this year so much, but I know I'll have to really push next year, the 5th grade teachers don't seem to have quite the same personality as the ones this year-- we'll see what happens.
Betsy