Taking him out of school

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Taking him out of school
7
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 2:09pm

I've mentioned before that David (12, AS) has been having a lot of anxiety about school since about Spring Break. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that we decided to take him out and homeschool him. I considered posting this on the hs board, but I've been here longer, and there are more people here who "know" us.

When I contacted the school with my decision, they said they wanted to have an IEP meeting first. So, yesterday I went to this meeting, not sure what to expect. The special ed director (a post occupied by a different individual each time, it seems) kept saying that although I have a right to take him out and homeschool him, the district has an obligation to do everything in their power to give him his Free Appropriate Public Education.

Honestly, I just want to get him out of there. However, the special ed director suggested that perhaps for the rest of the school year, a teacher could come to our house 5 hours/week to work one-on-one with David to get him caught up and squared away for the rest of the year.

I wanted to ask, "What would be the point of that, since we're taking him out anyway?" but before I could think of a diplomatic way to phrase that, his special ed teacher volunteered to be the one to do that. She's a really nice lady, and I know she misses David and cares about him. Everyone started nodding, and saying things like, "Oh yes, that would be perfect. It would provide some closure." I didn't feel right just turning down that offer without consulting DH.

DH seemed to think it sounded okay, but maybe that's because I introduced the topic with a positive spin, and he took it to mean that I like the idea. We both can see that it might be a good idea politically, but not necessarily for David.

I brought it up to David this morning and he buried his head in the couch cushions and shouted something I won't repeat. Honestly, I can't imagine David and Ms. H. sat here in our house doing school work. So, I think I'm going to have to decline that offer. I feel kind of bad about it, though. The district would be paying Ms. H. extra to do that, and I admit I like that idea, since they're laying her off at the end of the year. However, my first priority needs to be for David, not the teacher. I think for now, he needs a break from school.

Well, just wanted to share all this. Nothing like laying all your private stuff onto the internet to get things off your chest. :)

Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 9:19pm

Hi Evelyn,

Well it sure isn't as if you didn't try to have it work out with the school. Having been through 2 years of homeschooling, I just want to say that you and he will figure out how to best make it work, and having him spend some time "unschooling" is probably a good idea, relaxing and reading in his own interests, getting in a home rhythm, letting David get used to being at home without the pressure.

We found that Malcolm did best when he got alot to say about his own schedule, getting to play lots and working in school time in blocks of time around his play. We also found that when Malcolm was happy and relaxed, school didn't really take that much time up, so there was plenty of time for play and schoolwork. But every kid is different and you knowing David as well as you do will help you figure out how to create this home schooling. Keep it creative!!

I did find the homeschooling board on i-village to be helpful, esp. with links to books and other sites. Anyways I just wanted to say welcome to the world of homeschooling, even though we are no longer in it!

yours,

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 2:21pm

I know my situation is different but after Liam got out of the phospital there was no placement available.

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 2:57pm
We're taking our 12 year old son out of school after the end of this school year.


Mollie Photobucket

Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 7:10pm

I do not know what state you are in, but stop letting them manipulate you. I am in Texas and if you lived here, then there should be no more meetings. It is not up to them to do all they can to give him that. It is up to them to leave you alone.

Check with HSLDA for the laws in other states, I only know Texas law. If you lived here, I would say send his letter, used the one from the THSC site, certified mail in the morning and never send him back.

Lisa
Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 7:12pm
Also, I would not allow that teacher to come in to our house. I would be worried that she is really there to check you out and report back to try to end the homeschooling. Skip the manipulation. Homeschool him and stop letting them interfere. (((hugs)))
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 12:51pm

Evelyn,
If my child responded similar to David's response I would decline too. If his anxiety is centered around school, then she is a symbol of the school and he will still have that anxiety. I think you made an excellent decision and David will grow so much giving him that break from anxiety that he needs.

BTW since I homeschooled Nic this year, his Dr has noticed how he has matured so much. He said homeschooling him was the best thing I could of done for this kid because he wasn't in the stressful Chaotic environment like his last school was. He also began to like teachers again (he does have a teacher, we all meet once a week to turn in work, and on fridays they do electives so he goes there for 3 hours and has a blast and socializes with the other hs kids) and he has told me over and over again how he wishes he could go to "this" school everyday. Man huge change over the kid that would kick and scream and meltdown at the entrance to the school.

I think you made a perfect decision for David!

BTW if you homeschool threw your district, David will not loose his IEP. He can still get services which are important especially if you have bad days and can't get David to do the work he is supposed to do because of his Aspergers etc. Nic has good and bad days but he is still protected under IDEA, and that takes alot of stress off my back. I also drive him to OT and he gets 30 min weekly with his RSP for writing. So, if I were you I would still keep that IEP. Once they take him off of it (and he has to be enrolled in that district in order to have one) It might be hell to get it back especially if you re-enrolled him into school again.

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 12:58pm

Thanks, everyone, for "listening" and responding.  

Yeah, I'm going to just pull him out.   I don't believe that this particular teacher (the one who volunteered to be the one to come to our house) is wanting to "check up" on us to report back to the district.   However, the idea of having someone come to the house was not hers.  It was the special ed director who brought that up, and now that you mention it, Lisa, I don't doubt that that was *her* intention.   

 

Evelyn 

 

 




Edited 5/20/2010 5:02 pm ET by googolplexz