Teasing....:-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Teasing....:-(
5
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 6:31pm

How can I teach my 9 year old Aspie to cope with teasing without going off the deep end? And I don't mean even necessarily teasing because of the AS, or particularly cruel teasing, just normal, common-or-garden joshing that every kid engages in. The headmistress just called me to say that one of Euan's classmates is now too scared and upset to come into school, after she was teasing Euan and he lost it and threw a water bottle at her head. The head was very good, she explained that she knew that Euan had a hard time coping with teasing and that the girl knew she was wrong to tease him...but she did ask us to speak to Euan. I've explained to Euan why it's a bad idea to overreact, particularly to throw water bottles at people, and I've also explained that you can't take teasing literally or too seriously, that people sometimes do it to be funny...but he really doesn't get it. To him it's a huge insult (because he takes it so literally) and he because he doesn't find it funny he doesn't see why other's would, he just thinks they are seriously being horrible to him and loses his rag completely.

Any ideas? anything worked for anyone else? This is only going to get worse, I only have to think back to high school or watch DH with his friends to know that DS is going to get teased all his life, and he is going to have real problems keeping friends if he can't cope with it. We do try to tease him, gently, and explain that it's a joke and why it's funny, but it just makes him upset with us. I honestly don't really know how to help him with this and would appreciate any ideas.

Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's), Rohan (4, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: kirsty1
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 7:48pm

Is there something that he could do when teasing

                                

Avatar for toryanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: kirsty1
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:14pm

Ya know, you reminded me of what Victor did when he was being teased at school. He'd get so upset that the teachers taught him to "redirect" the insult that he felt into something else. He took this to mean that if he said "redirect" anytime someone upset him with a supposed insult, it would make the insult about them, not him. I don't know if it will work for anyone else but that's what helps him cope.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: kirsty1
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 8:45am

We have always done gentle teasing in our house, so my kids get the concept. However I don't think this is always a good thing:

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
In reply to: kirsty1
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 3:44pm

Oh Boy!!! if you find out, please let me know. We have the same issue with my son but only in school. I have told him that people who tease or bully or not sure of themselves, so you should cover your ears and walk away. I can totatlly imagine the scene, LOL !!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: kirsty1
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 5:28pm

I notice when Josh is around other kids sometimes he doesn't always translate what they are saying correctly and sometimes he doens't realize "gentle"teasing or ribbing from