thank you-family thoughts posts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2006
thank you-family thoughts posts
5
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 7:17pm

I have to admit I was very nervous to post about the dark things. I've been lurking here for a short time and most of the posts are so positive and when I did post in my navite i felt i didn't fit in. I have to say i was soooo wrong. I want to thank those who posted. I want to thank you for sharing that the dark feelings are normal and that they will recede. I am not too patient with myself (everyone says I am sooo patient with my kids tho) and i guess it's okay to give myself and dh some time.

I did really like the hurricain analogy.

Debbie - i've often admired your posts, your christian values, your educating folks ideas and all while single. kudos to you.

I know I need to find some in person support but our local chapter doesn't hold meetings in the summer. And of course school is out. I have a few phone numbers but I don't know what to say when I call.

Also, I have been in counselling since October when MItchell's behavior was very challenging and I hadn't learned any tricks. I am not sure that counselling feels very helpful. NOt sure if it's due to the counselor or me...but at least i'm trying. since i'm not finding it overly helpful tho i may put the $$ from that into therapy for my son since i hear it's pricey. i haven't started anything yet but have called a place for info and do have plans to call next week.

I know he's the same kid and on the one hand that bothered me about my mom. She was so shocked and upset and I'm like, what?? Haven't you seen the heck we've been living??

Just now I wanted to read my posts but ds wouldn't leave me alone and then I got a little ugly. I often find that I have to just give up anything I want to do because I can't do it and my ds at the same time and if I try I just get too frustrated so not doing it usually makes me a happier mom.

I too have hung on to scrapbooking - it is truly my therapy. I read but now for info and not for fun. I don't watch tv or movies. By the time ds is in bed asleep, i'm exhaused.

Anyway, i just want to truly thank you all for allowing me to be me and granting me permission of time.

Bless you all and all of your kids.
PS - What is acronym BTDT?
Wendy (dd 9 and ds 4)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 9:41pm

Dear Wendy,

Been there, done that.

You are truly welcome.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 9:52am

Hi again Wendy,

I am glad you came here and you certainly belong here. All of us have felt like you do. I have the same problem of not being able to do DS and other things at the same time. Often DH and I trade off so each of us can have personal time. Then you have to find a good babysitter so you and DH and can have private time. I think that is really important.

I also never watch tv anymore, except for PBS Kids, Playhouse Disney, and Noggin! And I went through a period of only reading autism stuff. I still spend a lot of time doing that but I try to read for fun too.

Keep up the scrapbooking, you need an outlet. For me it's going to the gym. Just something for yourself. Even if it is only one thing at first.

You might need to trade off something less fun, like housework. Just let the house get a little dirty once in awhile in favor of watching late night tv and putting your feet up, or whatever is fun for you.

I know about being tired. I am usually pooped by the time Eric goes to bed. Fortunately, he stays asleep once he is asleep. I've taken to getting up early so I have about an hour to myself to shower, eat, read the paper. I'm just too tired at night and do better in the morning.

You'll figure out what works for you. Just take it one day and one thing at a time.

Hugs,
Katherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 8:26pm

I was a newbie myself and I agree this message board has really help me cope and understand.
All my "dreams" were crushed 4-19-06 when my ds got his PDD label. He was 2 year 9 months.
We have had in home therpy thru Pennsylvian funding (thank goodness) and we are transioning into Project Dart which is preschool.
We get in home Wrap around services and to be honest, I see my therpists more than my family.
IT's really overwhelming and me and DH trade off with therpy and taking him to school.
I hit the gym at least 3 to 4 times a week for my stress. I'd have a breakdown otherwise.
Keep in my to live each day at a time and remember there are other dreams to have for my son.
God Bless and remember we are doing this right along side of you.

Nora

Avatar for insideout418
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 11:00pm

Thanks for the kind words, Wendy.


Actually that thread has given me a lot of encouragement, too.

Follow me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 9:31am

Hi Wendy,

I didn't respond to your original post, but boy, can I relate. We received our Dx about one year ago and many days I still feel lost in that darkness. I stayed up until all hours, forgoing sleep, to read anything and everything I could find about AS. I was releived to have a name for what was going on with DS (7), but felt completely overwhelmed as to what to do for him. I still feel overwhelmed much of the time. I have four kids total ages, 7, 5, 20 months and 4 months. Often I wish DS was an only child so I could devote more time to his needs. (I love all my kids, dont' get me wrong.) I feel I am letting him down because I'm not being the best Mom I can be for HIM. I just don't have it in me (time, energy, motivation). Life is SO hard most of the time. There is very little time for me. I am very fortunate to have a MIL who is retired and willing to offer support. She has been my lifeline when I need a break, but I don't really have anyone to talk to who understands what I'm going through.

I don't mean to ramble on about me. I just wanted to say "thank you" for your honesty and openness. It helps to know that others struggle too, but there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel.

Melissa