Thanks for the replys
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| Sun, 07-17-2005 - 12:59pm |
I just wanted to that you ladies for your replies and sharing your experiences.
Gary has been really upping the ante with one on one time with Vaughn. Right now they're at Madagascar movie together. Suzi, I loved the advice about the scrap book. Vaughn loves social stories and looking at photo albums so I know this is a winner of an idea.
Paula, I was hoping you would respond because I remember reading a thread where you had a similar situation. How painful it must've been for you! Thank you for the words of support. Unfortunately, DH often feels I need him to back me up when I'm disciplining Vaughn. And I think Vaughn feels we're ganging up on him. I told him I can handle it and he should be there as the "good cop" sometimes (although not always).
Thanks again.
Shelley

Shelly,
There was something I forgot to mention, which may not apply in your situation, but Peter eventually told me that he thought I didn't love him when I was disciplining him (which to him, felt like almost all the time). I learned to tell him things like. "I love you, but I don't like your behaviour right now"
Also during calm times, when we had our talks (usually bedtime) I might raise an incident that happened that day for discussion. I finally told him. "My love for you is like a huge mountain. Sometimes it's sunny on the mountain. Sometimes it rains. But the mountain is always there and doesn't go away, no matter what the weather" I don't think he fully got it, but this explanation marked a turning point, I think.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Thanks Paula,
That's interesting. vaughn always seems to be concerned what his Dad will say whether it's good or bad. I see alot of affection from DH toward DS and occasionally I hear an "I love you" from DH but not as often as I say it. I always say "I still love you, even when you misbehave" but not sure DH ever does. DH is really making an effort to connect better...he's a great guy. Today they spent the whole day together and came home good buddies, so I'm hoping for the best.
Thanks!
Shelley