Think my 18 yr old Son has Asperger's

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
Think my 18 yr old Son has Asperger's
4
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 1:10pm
My mother recently read a magazine article and then called me telling me that it sounded just like my son. The more we read, the more we are convinced. We have an appt now to get an evaluation, but now we have to bring it up to him and get him to go. He was misdiagnosed when he was younger as ADHD, but then the treatment failed horribly. Counseling never worked. And no one ever brought Asperger's up to me! Then today I found out that his half-brother has it. I read that it runs in families so I am angry that no one told me that his half-brother has it. I think of all the problems though his life that could have been less problematic if we had just known where to turn or who to talk to. Anyway, my name is Christie and since I am involved in another iVillage board, I thought I would check and see if there was one for Asperger's and here I am.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 2:11pm

{{HUGS}}

Don't bother with the woulda,coulda, shoulda game. It's done and now you have to deal with your situation. You did the best mothering you could with what little you knew. The problem at hand is to convince your now near-adult son to pursue it.

Have you thought about showing him the article that tipped you off? That might be a good ice breaker. I don't know about making him an appointment without his buy-in first. You could make yourself an appointment and invite him to come and use that as a way to discuss your suspicions.

I've read various reports of how late diagnosis AS people feel when they finally get the dx and for the most part, it's a relief and an explanation for all the difficulty they've had over their lives. I don't know how your son will react though.

In the meantime, this is a place where you can be understood. Most of us have younger children - there is a special difficulty to dealing with a near-adult child that may not get met here - but we'll do the best we can. You can ask as many questions, vent, share, and just generally hang out here. We're a very accepting bunch.

One place to go to to meet other parents and other adults on the spectrum is Wrongplanet.net. It's a site for those on the spectrum that can give you some insight and maybe some advice on how to deal with your son.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 2:44pm

Relax I doubt people will even think about one kid from another. Not everybody on the spectrum shows it the same. Asperger's as a dx didn't truly come into play until 1995. And many of the people testing our kids (I have a 15 year old) probably didn't know how to look for it. Nor what it was at that time.



My son didn't get the dx until he was 11. We have had him in EI and other various interventions since he was a toddler. Even the full blown evaluations did not scream ASD until he was older. We had speech delays, OT and PT but there were other issues in play. We did have the ADHD dx too. But until he got older

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 3:18pm
Thanks Andrea. I have thought about showing him the article and seeing if he puts 2 and 2 together himself. I am hoping that he has the same type of response as other adults who are dx'd with it. I am so used to him not having a typical response to anything (what I think is typical anyway) that, of course, I have the mindset that he won't react like we think he should.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 3:22pm
My son definitely has difficulty managing life. He quit school in 9th grade because he just couldn't handle it. He has since gotten his GED (with mostly college level scores) which is a good thing. He doesn't have his driver's license yet. We thought he just had no motivation or was lazy. But now we are looking at it in a different light. He wants a job, but he doesn't want to deal with people. I could go on, but I have to go pick up my girls. I am glad I found this board though. I am sure, as we go through the process, I may have questions or just need to vent.