Tips for Picky Eaters!

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Tips for Picky Eaters!
34
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:37am

This topic comes up on a regular basis, and I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread full of these tips which we can bump up now and again. Kind of a one-stop shop for this question. Plus I have all this stuff in my head NOW. I want to write it down before I forget!

Tip #1: Forget old wives' tales.
"He'll eat when he is hungry" may not apply to our kids who often have sensory issues and may not FEEL hunger in the same way as the old wives. Or they may feel it and not make the connection to eat! Either way, this rule does not apply, so discard it and follow your instinct.

Tip #2 Establish ground rules around eating and mealtimes:
This way everyone knows the expectations, boundaries and limitations. Rules may evolve with time. Here are some examples from my own house:

Rule #1 You don't get your treat unless you finish dinner. Finishing dinner does not mean cleaning your plate. Mom or Dad decides when you have eaten enough. We do this with concrete rules. Two more chicken nuggets, then you are done. Three big spoons of peas, Four more greenbeans (for smaller kids who can't count; separate the required eating from the rest). This negates the need to define "some".

Rule #2: If there is a new food on your plate you must *try* it. "Trying it" means puttng it in your mouth,and chewing it. If you don't like it, you may spit it into your napkin, take a drink, and a lot of credit for trying and you don't have to eat any more of it (this is *very* important, as it establishes trust). If you try it and you *do* like it and eat it, we make a huge fuss of you and you may get an exra treat -providing you finish dinner per rule #1!

Rule #3 (for parents) New foods are introduced one at a time, in very small quantities and together with loved and familiar foods. Initially a portion of vegtable may consist of three baby peas or sweetcorn kernels. If the food is tasted and rejected, it is not presented again for several months (we periodically re-try). The following day we will not try a new food, but may try again in a few days. If a food is tried and accepted, we slowly build up the quantity over time, to the point where the kid will eat a complete portion of that new food, before we move on to the next new food. Slowly and steadily over time, the range will grow.

Tip #3 Condiments are OK.
Peter went through a "drown everything with ketchup" phase. I figured that was OK as long as he ate the veggie, rice or whatever. Later I would work on reducng his ketchup intake. Over time, he gradually reduced it by himself, so now he eats those foods plain. A waitress in our (now sadly extinct) local diner told a story of a boy who used to get a hot dog and fries with a side of chocolate sauce. He would dip each bite of the regular food in the chocolate sauce, but he cleared his plate. I don't know if I personally would go that far, but I thought I'd put it out there that people do!

Tip #4 No condiments are OK too.
You may have the sauce/gravy on the side, or not at all. Some kids just can't stand sauce or gravy, and that's OK.

Tip #5 You (or Mom) may play with your food.
Sometimes the problem is not getting the kid to eat a food, but to consume enough food to constitute a meal. Again, I think a lot of this is peculiar to our kids who may not feel hunger in the regular way, or who may have other interests which override the desire to eat.

I have found the fastest way to get my daughter to scoff down brocolli is to have it 'run away' shreiking "Don't eat me! Pleeeeease". She takes rather perverse delight in grabbing it and munching it. She particularly likes if I cut a word off midway. "Don't eat m...". I'll probably have to work on her Dark Side later, but for now, this works for both of us. For some bizarre reason, she also like to have me make the food sing. (Actually, that is the only time she tolerates my singing!)

Peter likes to name his food. "This is Fred. Now I'm eating Fred". Sometimes he'll act out a whole scenario where the other green beans (or whatever) look for "Fred" and wonder where "Fred" has gone (then he demonstrates and sneds them to join Fred). I encourage this imaginative play. Happily, he has never named his food "Paula"!

Singing a song (1 bite after each line), or repeating a rhyme may work for some kids

Harness natural competitiveness: I am not ashamed to have my kids "race" to finish their peas, or gain bragging right on how may seconds (rare) they have consumed, or how much of a new food they have tried/eaten.

Tip #6 For food with flecks in it:
Introduce flecks slowly. Take an established staple, such as Mac & cheese and place ONE tiny piece of parsley on it (right on top, from whence it can easily be removed). See how the child reacts. If s/he freaks out, try moving the fleck to the side of the plate. or onto another plate and away to a point where preferably it may be seen ansd it is tolerated. Then slowly try to bring it back (over time, closer with each meal that cntains the mac&Cheese). If you get to the point where the child eats the favorite staple with a fleck, next time present it with a few more flecks, and so on until s/he will eat flecky mac&cheese. Then try to introduce a tiny piece of a new dish with flecks, per Rule #2.

Tip #7 Grow your own food, if possible.
If kids help with growing and cariing for a fruit or vegatable, they are WAY more likely to eat it. (it's not a guarantee, however).

Tip #8 Having your kids help in the kitchen may de-mystify some foods.
We started this with tacos. Kids could help by picking the tomatoes, putting out the condiments and prepared dishes, peparing the tacos shells for heating, grating cheese, etc. It is still the only way my daughter will eat gound beef (ground turkey works well too, BTW). The "no food touching" rule seems not to apply to tacos as I present everything at table in a separate bowl/plate, and they construct the tacos themselves at the table. (yes, it's messy, but the table and the kids wipe clean).

I think that is all from me. What did I forget?

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:58am

Didn't forget anything that I can think of. That's pretty much how we do it here too.

I do have some ideas on making healthy food yummy and fun. Recipes and such might be a nice idea too.

Oh, when changing or adding new things, start with things close to what they will eat already so it isn't a huge change until they get used to the "new food" concept.

My kids are huge smoothie fanatics so we make loads of smoothies. They can be particular but by testing I have found recipes they like. I have to be careful not to stick too much funny stuff in there, but a smoothie maker from Costco was my best purchase. Even makes great frozen margaritas.

Smiley face crackers - crackers with peanut butter on top with raisins in the shape of a smiley face.

Oh and try to switch some favorite foods to the healthier alternative if you can find one they like. For instance, switching skippy peanut butter to organic peanut butter. It took a bit of trial and error but we found one they love and they got used to it. Switching Jelly for whole fruit preserves, fruit by the foot to 100% fruit leathers, regular potato chips to the reduced fat Cape Cod chips (they are made from real potatoes, canola oil and a little salt. None of that other junk). If you live in California go to In and Out burger rather than McDonalds. they use real fresh ingredients in thier food.

Go to a butcher for food where they advertise meat raised without hormones and yucky things added to the meat. Most butchers I find do this if you ask, but what you get in grocery stores, well.... The prices at the butcher are comparable to grocery store prices as well and actually I find it is usually way yummier.

Read read read labels. For instance, if you get Annie's macc and cheese rather than Kraft it is alot healthier. There are poptart things I get at trader joe's that are organic, healthy and taste just like poptarts and are about $3 a box. Also, at Trader Joes you can get organic cereal for about $2 a box that tastes like cocoa crispies and other sugar cereals. Most other stores that carry these cereals do for about $4 a box. Koala Crisp is one of thier favorites. They also love Barbara's bakery cereal. All organic and no added sugar. They use other natural sweeteners rather than processed sugar.

Renee

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 11:34am

here is my one tried and true...

my kids love spaghetti. so i steam carrots, puree them and add to spaghetti sauce. then they are getting double serving of veggies. or i make mommy lasagna as dh calls it. i'll make elbow macaroni, my special sauce, and mix in cottage cheese. then i have protein, carbs, veggies and fats covered all in one. there is a new pasta that has omega's in it by barilla. tastes good and is higher in protein as it is made from chik peas.

or try spaghetti squash. it is so much like real spaghetti that it's hard to tell.

all this is assuming your kids like italian stuff.

good luck, valerie

~Valerie
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:31pm

I enjoyed this post so much. My ds will eat many different foods, but they need to not be touching and he has difficulty trying something different/new. My dh will often say the typical he'll eat when he's hungry but I definately disagree. He's so darn skinny and he will not eat if thats his option. Seeing this post reminds me it's okay for me to make changes for him such as serving shepards pie to him with meat potatoes and veggies seperated. My dh totally thinks this is babying him.I say it takes no extra time and we are all happy. My more recent difficluty is that he wants me to make everything because he says his doesn't come out right(Like putting the cream cheese on his bagelhe says it doesnt melt right,or making his pb&j his is too messy) He's 11 so I would like him to do this himself and better his skill at it. But I noticed he just wont eat so I've been doing it.

Amanda

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 8:08am

Malcolm's not a particularly picky eater, but we had an interesting example of his enjoyment of "systemizing" after his class did an intense unit on nutrition a few years ago. He began parsing the nutritional balance of my meals! So, my at-that-time 6 year old was adding up the units per day of protein, green vegetables, fruits, grains, etc. and letting me know how I was doing at the job of feeding him correctly!

So, we put up a food pyramid and let him chart his food intake. This has not lasted, but if he isn't feeling like a food I am making him, I can actually get him to eat it quickly by reminding him which food group he is needing.

Alright, this might not work for lots of kids, just thought I'd share. Never know with our kids when a system might provide an answer.

Sara
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:35am

Sara, this is so like Weston. He said that he couldn't eat his breadsticks the other day until I told him that I always make them w/ white whole wheat flour(from King Arthur Flour) so YES, it is whole grain so it is ok, per the new food pyramid! sheesh!

Paula, you hit everything i can think of. I do try very hard to follow the food pyramid and I also use a lot of Renee's more healthy technics.

We also make most of our own breads and cookies (I use peanut butter in place of butter and whole grain flours in place of white, reduce sugars by 1/2 or replace sugars w/ natural sugars --molasses is great and full of good things!). I also add ground flax seeds to almost everything to increase omegas in our diet.

We have found a produce stand that is wonderful as well. The owner lives in our subdivision and treats my kids (w/ homemade fruit pops or favorite fruits) if they report that they've tried something new from his stand.

Another thing that I have done is make my own applesauce (by cooking the apples w/ the skins on it retains more of the nutrients, and by not overcooking--we use a foodprocessor to make it smooth), freeze or can pears, cherries and peaches that we pick at the orchard, etc. When you pick them yourself and preserve them at the peak of freshness you retain more nutrients than those processed at a factory. When my children help pick and preserve the produce they eat them more readily. Same goes for the tomatoes, carrots and things we grow in our yard.

Betsy

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 12:04pm

betsy,

can you elaborate on your applesauce making technique?

when you say you preserve, do you can them? if there was an easier and less time consuming way to do that, i would try it myself

valerie

~Valerie
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Registered: 12-24-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 7:41pm

Wow! Paula, that is a really great list. I printed it off for future reference. So far, Cassian won't eat veggies, except for hummus and Italian tomatoe sauce on spaghetti. I can sneak some veggies, like cooked carrot shavings or finely chopped broccoli florettes, into his spaghetti sauce. For the time being, we are encouraging him to try some new foods, but not venturing into vegetables yet, because his diet is actually very nutritious, and because he really needs to work on behavioral issues much more (e.g., staying at the table the whole time). We also struggle a lot with getting him to feed himself because he is so dyspraxic, so he needs coaching to remind him to pick up his fork and put the food in his mouth. I do use dessert as a reward for him to finish most of the food that is on his plate, and we try hard to make mealtime a social time with conversation practice. He does pretty well in restaurants now, too. Eventually, we will tackle the issue of veggies, and I know your tips will come in handy then. Thanks.

Suzi

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 7:24am

oh, social time at dinner, we do this. this reminds me of one of my favorite little things we came up with at our house. With 4 kids, 3 with social issues and impulse issues, conversations at dinner are very tough. Often everyone trying to talk over one another and not listening and not on the same topic, so we started our "Pass the Pepper" rule.

Who ever has the pepper is who gets to talk. At first they were the only ones talking then would pass it to the next person wanting to talk. Then we progressed to the person that had the pepper it was thier conversation but they could call on others to comment or ask questions about the conversation. We usually use this as a time to talk about thier day and relating info, but the conversation can be any topic of thier choice. Now we can have the person with the pepper is the one who choose the topic and is the main speaker, but others can question or comment on the topic appropriately. Also had to learn how to end topics.

Often we don't even use the "pepper" anymore, but if will use a reminder that "____ has the pepper" meaning it is thier turn to talk when they kids start to talk over each other and not listen. If the kids get out of hand and forget we break the pepper back out. Still hasn't generalized totally to all environments (blushng) but at dinner type environments, even at grandparents, they are typically pretty good.

Renee

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 8:27am

Renee,

I *love* that idea! (Actually used to have to use a similar plan with a project team I once ran, but never thought to try it at home!) I am going to try this.

Suzi,

You point about capitalizing on positive food associations is a good one. I keep tabs of any food "things" he studies at school, so we can try it at home. For example; When Peter was learning about Thanksgiving, we tried some of the foods at home before the event. On Thanksgiving day itself, he actually ate roast turkey for the first time. He still eats it! Only usually it's roast chicken, which we call "turkey"...

A slight caution about this one: Peter was very enamored with the concept of pumpkin pie. So we bought one for Thanksgiving; -despite the fact than neither DH or I can stand the stuff. Well, Peter couldn't stand it either. The poor dude was *so* disappointed, he just melted down on the spot. I felt really bad. More so, because I had seen this coming. With hindsight, I would have bought something I thought he might like, and branded it "pumpkin pie"

I also wanted to mention to everyone, that although I mentioned veggies a lot in my initial post, because this is our area of focus *now*, we used the same technique to introduce rice, chocolate, chicken, roast beef, yogurt, icecream, applesauce, chocolate sauce, garlic bread, pancakes, waffles, new pastas, cheeses and drinks to his repetoire, as well as veggies. Initially, the list of foods and drinks he would ingest looked like this:

one type of cereal (can't remember which one), dry
Pizza
Mozzerlla sticks
Bread (white, no butter)
plain spaghetti with a knob of butter
french fries (but not at home)
Lipton's tri-chese rotini.

Drinks:
Blue gatorade
Blue Hi-C

That was it. At one point, he was so thin, you could see his entire pelvis from the back. He could not sit on a hard chair for any length of time, because there was not enough flesh on his little bottom to cover the bones. His sitter was reduced to tears one day while changing his diaper, because he looked so starved, and for the life of her, she could not get him to eat protein or calcuim. It was a total nightmare.

Oh. and the Dr would just look at his litle charts, ensure that Peter was barely above the "clinically underweight" mark (once even re-weighed him on anoher scale to ensure this) and did precisely NOTHING.

I saw a nutritionist, who gave me great advice about what he SHOULD eat (which I already knew), but no pointers regarding how to *get him* to eat any of it. The best she could manage was a suggestion to configure his dinner as a smiley face. Yeah, right.

I guess I am trying to say That I have really BTDT on this topic, and If I managed to get Peter to eat brocolli (and like it), there is hope for any other kid out there. It's a matter of constant tiny steps and never giving up. A sense of humor goes a long way too!

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for betz67
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 1:31pm

Valerie,

I wash the apples after picking. cut in quarters and remove the seeds (they have traces of toxins) throw the apples into a big stock pot. Add just a little tiny bit of apple juice to keep them from sticking. Cook on a low temp until they're soft (it might take a couple hours depending on the size of the pot and how many apples are in it, stir occasionally to keep from sticking to bottom. I have a foley food mill (a strange looking sieve that has a crank on the top. put all the soft apples in the food mill and turn the crank (this makes them smooth and takes out the edge of the skin). When the applesauce cools a little put it into freezer containers and freeze (I have a friend that puts it in ziploc bags). It's that easy!

I sometimes can my applesauce if I don't have enough freezer space, but you cook out more of the nutrients.

Betsy

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