Total chaos............it's stim week

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Total chaos............it's stim week
6
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 9:29pm
Hello Everyone ,

I am usally just a lurker but i am having the two weeks from hell and i needed to vent here and maybe you can offer me some suggestions because I BELIEVE THAT I AM GOING OUT OF MY MIND and i have been expecting the men in the white coats to come all day. I have three DS's who are all Autistic ( varing degrees)and it just seems as if since the weather changed all Hell has broken loose here . First of all they are all 2.4yrs old and its like stim week we have biting and flapping and pushing and hitting and screeaming at the top of our lungs (im sure the neighbors think im beating them ).

Once I calm one down the next one starts they seem to be picking up each other behaviors lately and i find that no matter what i do it does not work. Did i mention jumping out of our cribs. I find that all of my friends and family have pretty much written me off because they feel that they have nothing in common with me and one of them even said that she didn't want her child to pick up bad habits from them . I guess i just needed to vent and feel that people understood and not tell me to not worry about it it will pass "it's just a stage" "do you really need allthat therapy". My Dh has been working alot of overtime lately and i have been on my own but i am used to taking care of them by myself because we have never had any help. My Dh is wonderful and is very helpful when he is home

but i guess that i am just having a bad day today.

Does anybody else children stim more when there is a weather change ? Or is it just that these sims that went away have just come back? There has to be an antcedent dosen't there.

sorry that i went on an on but i appreciate you listening to me complain.

Jackie (Jacob autism /PICA/speech delays) Dylan (Autism/speech delays/feeding issues) Tyler (Pdd/Speech delays/feeding issues/gerd/benign congential hypotonia(low muscle tone just started walking at 28months)

 


Jackie~  Jacob , Dylan-James, &

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 12:12am
OMG!

You know, My hat is off to you. Just one of these tots sounds like a handful and you are managing three, with very little support. And you can still spell and construct a sentance! I am well and seriously impressed.

It's funny how the little beggars feed off each other when they get into a mood, isn't it? My kids seem to live just to torture me sometimes.

I don't know if weather can trigger stimming (my DS is not a big stimmer), I would imagine it very easily could as change of any sort is a big trigger. Has anything else changed recently, or has there been extra tension that they could be reacting to? I'm sure you have thought through all this stuff already.

A thought: In our area, EI offers a respite program to give moms with a heavy load a break. The will take the kiddos for a few hours and Mom can visit the hairdresser, go shopping or take a nap! You may want to check locally and see if there is anything like this available to you.

Also, I don't know what services they are receiving currently, but at 2 yr 9 mos, they can be screened by the school disrtrict for a possible placement in special preschool, if that is what you want for them (some areas have special preschool placements for younger children too, under Early Intervention) I don't know if you have persued this, or how you feel about it, but it might be worth considering.

HTH

Oh, and for the record:

You are doing the right thing.

It's not just a phase.

You are an angel rushing in where fools fear to tread.

Your children need you

Stay strong.

Come back and vent or share anytime.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 6:53am

(((HUGS)))


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 2:21pm
I live in Staten Island ,New York and right now I do receive the respite care but I do not have any one to provide it . My mother used to help me out with babysitting but in June she passed away. My babysitter went off to college and the amount of money that they pay respite workers no wants to do it. The babies have a full home school program from EI and that keeps them busy . I hate to complain because people look at me and say well you know what happens when you have multiples or maybe you should have had selective reduction or i feel so bad for you . I don't feel bad for me I can talk and walk and my children cannot do all of these things (at least not yet , but they will ). I also don't mind all of the craziness but lately the wind seems to have shifted , i love be a stay at home mom it's something that i wanted very badly. I have accepted that they are on the spectrum and i am ok with that it they are my babes and

We did have a change lately , we got a new AbA instructor who is in charge of AbA program and increased our ABA to more hours. I guess that I am just feeling overwhelmed lately and I am not used to be isolated from everyone and everything . Thanks for the advice I am glad that I de-lurked.

Jackie

 


Jackie~  Jacob , Dylan-James, &

Avatar for candksmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 10:38pm
Hi, I wondered about the seasonal thing, too. My aspie dd is almost 8 and I have another dd who is 5 and probably not aspie but has some sensory issues, especially tactile. I dread this time of year, and spring, too, both of my dd's have a rough time, especially the younger one. It takes weeks for her to get used to the change in temperatures, and in the meantime she is cranky, and irritable.

I hope that things improve for you soon!


Edited 10/4/2003 8:47:19 PM ET by candksmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 11:52pm
Hi Jackie,

I am sorry that you have so recently lost your mother on top of everything else! OMG you are putting up with so much. I am on Long Island -not so far away from you. E-mail me. My e-mail address is below. Put the name of this board in the title so I don't think you are spam. I also have a friend on Staten Island who has an autistic nephew. He may know about local resources or support groups if you are interested. You may need to change your friends, but you don't need to be isolated. There is a lot of help and support out there. It's a question of finding it. (Also, talk to the agency providing your services about support groups etc. if you haven't already done so)

Some other thoughts: You need to get a bit more assertive and demand the respite care. It shouldn't be this way, but it is: the people who make the most noise, get the most services. You don't have to be nasty about it, but just tell them very nicely that you will lose your mind if you don't get a break, You probably need to visit the cemetery for crying out loud. I bet you have hardly had a minute to mourn your mother. Don't be afraid to use a sob-story to get what you need. many people do and at least yours will be true!

The new ABA instructor and the hours change could indeed be causing a lot of the extra stimming. My guess is the hours, more than the instuctor is the culprit. It is probably too late to say this: but whenever we were extending or changing a time for our DS we would do it gradually, five -fifteen minutes at a time, every one-three days, depending on how he was doing. Otherwise he would be out of control. I know the instuctor has his/her hours set by the city, Maybe the extra time could be spent with you, training on some techniques or discussing each child's needs and progress?

Again I have to hand it to you, you are right on top of all of their issues and getting them good help, and they are still very young. You are well ahead of the curve. At this point many mothers would still be in denial.

Don't go away,

-Paula

specialmomx22@yahoo.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 1:41pm
I cannot offer you any advice, but I can offer you a ((Big Hug))!

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