triggers/anxieties

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
triggers/anxieties
6
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 7:15pm

the answer to my questions will probably depend on the individual child but..

if you know something that triggers a meltdown in your child do you avoid the trigger or try to condition the child to respond differently?

if your child has anxiety about something do you avoid it at all costs or do you try to condition the child to respond differently?

son(9) melts after using yo-yos, looking through scholastic book forms from school or if he sees the toy vending machines at the front of store. i have forbidden yo-yos and dispose of the ads for the magazines as soon as he gets them. he can browse toy catalogs and not be bothered. the vending machines we still have trouble with.

if i put trash out front, go to the basement(part of our apartment),step onto the porch without him he freaks. even if i tell him what i am doing and invite him to come with me. he still pokes his head into the bathroom when i am in the tub to check on me.

how do handle your child's triggers/anxieties?

Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: decson
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:24pm




Edited 2/22/2008 12:19 pm ET by littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
In reply to: decson
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:26pm

Well let me see. It's depends on the day and certain stores.
Example #1
I have my local supermarket and a Walmart right next to each other. He gets mixed up going into each one and both stores are a complete nightmare. Last week the grocery store was probably the worst meltdown I had in public. So you ask what do I do. For my food shopping I just don't take him. Now going to Walmart, if I go to the larger one which is by my mall, he is ok. I could never understand that but it works for me.
Target is the BEST store cause we get popcorn and he chills in the cart. He luckily still can fit.

Example #2
The ocean last year was HORRIFIC!! He totally disappeared on us. What I mean by that is he loss of speech and he just stims really badly. It's like sensory overload. So sadly this year we are on the fence what to do for vacation this year. Spending that much money and not enjoy ourselves cause he is gonna check out on us isn't worth it. BUT I figured perhaps we could get him a sand/water play table for outside in the back yard. I think if I could expose him to sand at home we could ease into a beach opportunity. If he is gonna check out, at least we are home and I can control the sand issue. Can't really do that at the shore.

Example #3
This kid is a map. He knows exactly whear we are going in the car before I tell him just by the direction we are going. SO if he isn't please with our destination I try to switch which way to drive. By throwing him off and shaking up his routine helps. Let him freak in the car cause it's just us and I can handle the screams. Sad but after awhile he gets over it.

Example 4#
If I feel it's gonna be an anxiety thing like a doctor visit. We bought a play doctor set and we role play/play hospital. By showing that it doesn't hurt to see the doctor he is ok.

Remember my little one is only 3 1/2. We are approaching our 1 year anniversary of our DX. I wanna give ourselves a pat on the back for all the accomplishments we have gotten. Little steps. Today was a ROUGH one for us. I personally wanted to pull my hair out. I need to talk to my doc about my anti depressants. This wait for 2 wks for it to work is killing me!!!!!

Hope this helps
Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
In reply to: decson
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 9:59pm

My guess is that most of us do a bit of both, depending on the situation. Like with a doctor's appt., there's really no way to avoid these visits so conditioning is the best we can hope for. With our daughter, I have to bribe her with McDonald's french fries. I know, bribing with food is a major "parenting book no no"...but considering she only eats 9 items, I'll do what it takes to get the job done and the parenting books can shove it you know where. ;-P

On the other hand, I will avoid non-essential meltdown triggers. I know she can't handle being around a lot of white noise, so I'm not going to take her into a vaccuum cleaner store on try-it-before-you-buy-it day.

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: decson
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 12:46am

We, too, do some avoidance and some conditioning.


Avoidance: long shopping trips, WalMart.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
In reply to: decson
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 7:19am

((Debbie))
I so understand the screaming kicking child. My son is a big boy for 3yr. He is 40lbs and stands and over 3 foot. He literally is more than half my heigh so I look awkward dragging him out.
I tag team w/DH when the checkout come into play.
AND the stupid candy they sell at the register. That's tempting for even a NT kiddie. Our kiddies are harder to reason with.
I do use food bribs and I really don't care what ANY doc or ANY parenting book says. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

~~~sigh

nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: decson
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 8:47am

I agree that it is a bit of both.


One thing we found helped enormously was to prepare our kids by scripting through something before we did it. This helped them to feel more in control. We still do it: We leave the house with a plan:


1. We are going to

-Paula

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