Trying to grasp reality

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Trying to grasp reality
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 12:30pm

I have to admit that I still have high expectations for my DS3 Aspie. We are currently in OT for sensory and slightly low tone, Speech for pragmatics, and Social for the obvious. We are seeing tremendous amounts of progress. We test each year or so, so I feel we are never really more than 9 months behind in any one area. So help me to understand how these super-smart brains are not able to do well in school. I understand the social part of it, but that is really separate from academics. Is it stress related or will his ASD get worse before it gets better? Is there a developmental piece that in general does not develop and education builds on that piece?

We still tell DS that he should not marry until after grad school. I do not want to place unrealistic expectations on him (college, grad school, marriage, etc) yet I do not want to sell him short either. I mean the kid is 3 and working on multiplication tables. Am I in denial over our future?


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 1:46pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 2:34pm

I don't think it is denial.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 10:02am

I was just talking with the teacher who taught my daughter for the last two years, about this yesterday. My daughter is about to be 8 and is going into the 3rd grade. The teacher's comment is that DD is the quintessential dually exceptional kid. She is weird and brilliant with these shocking deficits. Not shocking because they are so big on their own, but because you really don't expect them, and they seem big in comparison with the rest. This asynchrony is pretty typical in AS kids and accounts for a lot of the school struggles. Even you will find yourself thinking something like "You can read like an eighth grader, how can you not know how to tie your shoes?'"

And, of course, school is more than academics, and parts affect the whole. Struggles with attention, social interactions, organization, time management, anxiety, etc., all have a big impact on how our kids do in school.

However, early intervention has been shown to help a lot, and you sound like you have a good start. Also, your proactive (positive and assertive) will help things. Make sure schools are only treating behavior issues as behavior issues, and that there are proper accommodations in place. That sort of thing.

My daughter is doing well in school, although she has struggles. She's in a good school with individualized programs and teachers that are willing to keep learning. I have high hopes too.