Ts for kids that advertise their autism?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Ts for kids that advertise their autism?
19
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 6:28pm
My son was just diagnosed with Pdd-nos. I have been perusing message boards and found one where a parent, in response to his child "acting out" in public (i.e. having autism and acting naturally), made up Tshirts that advertise the kid's autism. (I'm autistic--what's your excuse? ,etc.) He says it keeps people from being judgemental and helps them to understand his child's condition. Point well made. I too have been subject to eye rolling and silent judgement in response to my son's behavior and myself have been one of those parents quietly judging others parenting skills. As good of an idea as I think it is to make autism a well known condition and to educate people as much as possible about it, I just don't know if I would feel comfortable putting the shirt on my kid. Am I overreacting? I mean, I don't even want to tell my son when he grows up that he even got this diagnosis in case it makes him feel, well honestly I don't know how it would make him feel but I don't want to take the chance. I am proud of my son and applaud the parents who created the tshirts because they slap the faces of the people who judge without knowing your child's situation. Maybe we should just let the parents roll their eyes without putting our kid's on display. Anyone agree? Disagree? I would like to hear some feedback in case I am totally off.

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Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 7:20pm

I wouldn't personally use t-shirts because I don't care what strangers think. There's not anger or rebellion in that statement. I really don't care. My perception of strangers' judgement of me means that I am allowing them to shape my life and I like being the captain of my own ship as much as I can (being the recovering control freak that I am). I also believe if they were humans worth knowing in the first place, then they'd approach others with compassion. I give others compassion and the benefit of the doubt at first blush because I believe people are good. I deserve the same thing and won't accept any less. In my eyes, anyone other than compassionate has had a very coddled life and hasn't had a paradigm shift rammed down their destiny. So, they are easily written off as "unevolved" in my databanks and are just background like plastic plants or something. LOL So, I don't think I'd want a t-shirt because I don't think I owe anything to strangers. Let them stare at her flapping hands and facial grimaces. If they get past those things, the "real" people will see how beautiful she is. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 9:06pm

LOL, we always joke that Hayden needs a shirt like that to warn people.

Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 9:08pm

I totally agree w/you. I really don't care what people think of me.

Example 1: My son had a H-U-G-E meltdown of all meltdowns in grocery store on Tuesday. It was literally a 10 stop the world and stare at the mother who can't control her kid kinda thing. I stood in the center of the produce and let my son lay on the floor to the point I gathered my stregnth to pick him and hold him tightly against my chest to calm him down. Hence the "grandmother" who has been watching all this comes over to me and asks "Is he ok?" I had to say it, "Oh, this is minor, you should see a real fit!" LOL
I had too, couldn't resist. I really hate the gawking.

Example 2: Shoe shopping at a retail store and he won't sit in cart OR walk next to me and starts screaming again. I calmly picked him up and it was a struggle but got him in cart and found a book to occupy him. Stares all around me and I just turn a blind eye.

What I am getting at you have to have alot of "balls" (sorry to be so blunt), to just approach a stranger and say something about their child.

So no I don't advertise the shirts. I think they are funny in their own way, but it's NO ONES' bees wax

Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 10:05pm

LR expressed my sentiments exactly. Perhaps this comes with experience. Several of us who hang around these parts of cyber space have been navigating this maze for many years. While I won't speak for all of us "been there done that's" I do think there comes a point in time when other people's opinions means nothing to us.

Having said that, I think the T-shirts are a personal choice. I haven't bought anything of that nature, but I wear my autism lapel pin with pride and take every opportunity I can to explain to people why my spectrum children do the things they do.

I refuse to try to hide the autism from any one, and that includes my children. My kids are who they are. I adore them and all their quirky behaviors and if offered the chance, I wouldn't dream of "curing" them.

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:42pm

bingo. I don't hide autism at all either. I have bumper stickers, etc

However, I haven't done the t-shirts for a number of reasons. I have meant to buy them many times but just never could.

First, I don't like a lot of the smart alect remarks on them. Like the one you mentioned. "I have autism, what's your excuse" I don't want my kids to think of autism as an excuse it is just part of who they are. I also don't want them to be rude.

Next, though I want to promote autism awareness, will hand out cards if neccessary (for instance to those who will be working with my kids mainly), am open about explaining autism. I don't think it is my right to advertise it on them. If they decide they want an autism shirt then I would provide. There are some cute ones (Autism stim Team). I do have less obvious advertisers of autism myself. My magnet, my key chain, and info cards. I haven't done the full t-shirt yet but I am not big on shirts with sayings anyway.

Renee

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Registered: 09-13-2006
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 1:28am

That's it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 6:26am

LOL, I need one of those blinkies too!

Kyle has an autism T-shirt that our support group made up for the 4th of July parade. It has the puzzle pieces, some signs of autism (poor eye contact, repeditive behavior, ect), and the contact info for our group and a local agency. He chooses to wear it on occasion. Autism shouldn't be a secret in my opinion but like the others have said I don't like the smart alec tone of some of those shirts.

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 10:35am

Blinkie, lol. You guys crack me up! I am going to start posting that my kids are blue and silly things just to have fun with that blinkie.

My kids do have camp t-shirts from the autism camp last summer but you would have to read closely to know it is an autism shirt. It has a cartoon kid on it with Camp I CAN in big letter and in small ones "Camp Including Children with Autism Now".

They chose to wear them sometimes as well but not always. They get questioned about it and I don't know how comfortable they are explaining it was an autism camp and then all the follow up questions that follow. It isn't that they are embarrassed I think, it is that those kind of social interactions are impossible.

Renee

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 11:49am

Hey guys, shock, I AGREE WITH RENEE ALSO!!!

And, as I have said here before, I go one step further with my reasoning. We are not HIDING Malcolm's autism, but I do not want to advertise it all over thw world, taking away his OWN RIGHT to decide in the future how he wants to present himself to the world. As necessary, OK, yes. Need to know basis, if helpful.

AND we are still in the middle of working on him understanding dx, and still working on it by working on where he is having trouble specifically --- sensory issues, speaking up when he is not following or processing questions, etc., controlling his temper but also allowing what is troubling him to be explored and find solutions, taking a time-out to relax when needed, etc. Since we are not big-time looking at him "having autism, PDD-NOS," whatever that all means and even grownups have a hard time, right, why should we be spreading that all over?

T-shirts announcing dx are out here.

Sara

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Registered: 01-16-2006
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 12:02pm

If its a cute tee then its a cute tee and since DD likes tees, that say things etc... then I'd put it on her, or rather let her wear it.

As for her wearing it FOR other people - nope, Don't really care what they think. That said, if anyone asks I tell them that DD has PDD-NOS, Autism or whatever I think they can comprehend without a 30 minute discussion. I don't think its a secret or something to hide and I will certainly tell DD as soon as she is old enough to get it. If we as mom's are ashamed/keep it a secret etc.. how are our kids going to not feel even more like outsiders than there brains make them? If someone else has a problem with it - that's THEIR deficiency and I am JUST the type of person who would point that out to them - hehehehe.....

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