Avatar for mamabearof2
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 9:15pm
Hi all, boy I don't know if this is called anything but...well...annoyance?...defiance?. DS has been on a role since Monday. He laughs a lot (which is not a bad thing but at inappropriate times) and makes jokes of our redirecting him and sometimes acting hyper. It is as if he becomes sort of defiant at times. He is normally not a behavioral problem and we have had compliments on our two DS. People have told us they are very well mannered. But lately he has been getting into the "It's not my fault" when I try to have him accept responsibility. Like tonight he dropped a few BIG books on the end table and the lamp shook and the light quit working. I just changed the light the other night so I know there was a fresh bulb in the lamp. Well we explained to him that he dropped the books that the light blew out. Automatically he said, "It's not my fault! Mom where did you get the bulbs at Dollar General?" I may be making too much of this but I see kids on a daily basis that is in trouble because they feel it is not their fault someone told them to do this or that or it's not they fault they broke into the building the people should have had an alarm on the door so that I wouldn't go in it and so on. Okay the last part may be an exaggeration but I want him to accept responsibility and for the most part he does but seems like he goes in spurts of being argumentative (yeah that is it he becomes argumentative) and I guess that annoys me because it seems he nit picks on the stupided things. Okay now that I wrote until I pin pointed the negative behavior. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation. Oh yeah seems like youngest son is following suit on this.

UGH...I feel like saying "Whatever!" and walking off. That seems passive though.

I will write more when my head is not so full. I feel cloggy and I have my other son in the background asking question after question.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: mamabearof2
Thu, 10-09-2003 - 9:21am
I see your point, but are you sure he is actually denying responsibility or is it a rote expression that he trots out as standard? My DS has a rote expression: "you're just jealous!"

"Peter; clean up this mess"

"You're just jealous"

He is trying to assert himself and push some boundaries, I think, but his mind is so far ahead of his mouth! I try and give him more appropriate words: "Are you still playing with it, then?" or whatever.

It's just a thought.



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