Update on suspension

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Update on suspension
9
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 10:48pm

DH and I went to the meeting regarding DS's suspension this week. In a nutshell, we were told that YES, we all agree that these behaviors are a manifestation of his disability, however "normal procedure will continue to be followed if further incidences occur", ie. they will continue to suspend him if he continues to do anything they consider indecent/ inappropriate. OK, I understand that they must do something when other children's "physical or emotional safety" is in jeopardy. What kills me is the fact that it's taking so dang long to get a proper BIP in place for him. Now the specialist is saying she won't have anything completed until the end of January. So what happens in the mean time? You know that emergency behavior plan that was supposed to be put into place five weeks ago? Never happened. The new dismissal procedure to help him transition out of the building (to help decrease the need for him to sprint through the building to get out)? Never happened. The increased time with the counselor to help support him in unstructured times (lunch and recess)? Well, she's out sick today, so you'll have to ask her that yourself. WTF?

DS is hating school, hating life and getting worse at home. Holidays don't help matters either. Today was other DS's birthday and we had a few meltdowns and one knock-down drag-out fight between the two boys. We don't talk anymore in this house, we scream at each other, parents included when it's really bad.

Really tired of this. Really feeling sad for DS. I need to call an advocate and a counselor. I need to go have a good cry.

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 10:56pm

{{{Melissa}}} Just remember were here for you, to listen to you, and to completly understand this stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 11:37pm

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that things went so poorly at your meeting.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 12:17am

Melissa,


I am so sorry things went so badly today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 2:04am

Does this mean you are still waiting for the IEP ? I don't know what at BIP is, sorry...


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 4:44am
I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having. As if we don't have enough on our plates, we have to deal with Schools that place money over the well-being of children. Have you tried talking to someone at your state's special ed division? Try to get a contact name with a little muscle. Maybe you could write them a letter detailing the situation and copy the school on it. Let them know you are not afraid to go over their heads to resolve this. Explain your concern for your son's current emotional state and that you feel a temporary intervention plan should be put in place until the evaluations are complete, and that repeatedly suspending him for behaviors that everyone agrees are a manifestation of his disability is damaging to your child. Good luck and keep us posted.
Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 9:40am

I don't have any good advice to add, just wanted to send you lots of hugs (((((Melissa))))) and a shoulder to cry on or at least an understanding friend to cry with you. It's all so frustrating!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:13pm

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I don't have much advice for you as I am justing starting the ball rolling with IEP (to see if my DS is eligible). Sending you lots of cyber hugs. You know where to find us if you need to talk it out more.

-- Innie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 8:42pm

We've had several IEP's over the last five years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 7:37am

Melissa,


So sorry to here what you and your ds are going through.Getting a school to help can be the hardest.Keep fighting and screaming,someone will here you.


We had our ds at the same primary school since he was 4.had problems from day 1.never thought it could be the school causing the problems.After years of fighting,getting him dx with pdd-nos,we thought great we;ll get the help now.Asd team became invovled,things were looking good for a short while,but then the suspensions were happening again.twice a week,some weeks ,which is difficult when you work.After months of this,we found the Asd hadn't been seeing our ds because school had said to them that they weren't needed any more.The big push came when i'd picked my son up from school to find that they'd locked him in a room over dinner unsupervised,well, he never went back.


He now has a place at another school and is doing great,even to the point that the asd team don't think he's on the spectrum and that his behaviour has been learnt from his previos school and they've asked if they can have him re-evaluated in the summer.


Keep making lots of noise,nagging,phoning,letter writing and pushing.For us it was worth it.Some of the teachers won't like it ,but hey,thats there job,to get the best for every child.


Yvonne xx