Use of "N" word!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Use of "N" word!
5
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 10:30am

This morning Everett's teacher told me that yesterday Everett called a fellow african american classmate a "N".

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 11:33am

Well first, did you find out the content of how he used the word?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 7:16pm
A few years ago my son got into a fight with the girl across the street on the bus and said " Just shut up Jew girl". Of course the school and the parents flew into a tizzy and threats were flying everywhere. I was flabbergasted because we don't ever talk like that at home and my husband and I were horrified that our son said such a thing. I totally understood her parents anger. After fully questioning him however, I found out that the children had been made to read a book about the Holocaust in school. Since he knew this girl celebrated Hanukkah, he thought she must be jewish. The book referred to Jewish people as Jews and used the phrase jew girl though out. TYPICAL ASPERGER RESPONSE! He had no way of understanding that someone who was Jewish would be offended to be called that. I was actually annoyed at the school because he was exposed to that in school not at home, but we were made to feel like criminals. No matter how hard we try to anticipate this kind of stuff, these things frequently trip my son up. Just keep talking to your son about trying to be aware of other people's feelings and hope that some of it sinks in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 8:50am

my son used this word in the car as i was driving him and 2 of his cousins to school. his 2 biracial cousins. they ignored it. i dropped them all to school, drove around the block then went back into the school. i pulled him out of class and asked him why he used it, where he heard it an would he like someone to call his cousins that name? he had heard it in a song in his ipod. i dropped the subject and he has not said the word in 3 years. i think the fact that i went to school to speak to him showed the severity of the problem.


he is now attending a public school where this word is commonly used. he doesn't use it and rarely swears. he has a very large vocabulary and uses other words when he is angry or agitated when someone. i would venture that your son did not know the offensiveness of the word. he may have thought it was an acceptable greeting because he heard it in songs or on tv. perhaps you could have him find out the definition or use of this word that is so offensive. seeing it in writing may help him understand why you are so upset.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 7:52am

Unless he was actually using it to be racist or offensive, I don't think punishment is going to get you anywhere because I imagine he didn't understand why it might be offensive to use language like that - has he maybe heard it in a song or heard other kids use it? I would just have a quiet word with him and make sure he understands why it is offensive and why he shouldn't use it. Would you punish him for doing something else he had no way of knowing was wrong?


If, on the other hand, he *knew* and understood what he was doing and did it anyway, then I'd issue a little extra homework - perhaps some extra chores done as a 'slave' might get the lesson home :-) But I seriously doubt he did.


Kirsty mum to Euan (9, Asperger's) Rohan (5, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 10:06am

Friday evening I spoke with Everett and got the full story as to why he used the word.