Vacation a Good Thing (Long Update)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Vacation a Good Thing (Long Update)
1
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 11:45am

We are continuing with the impromptu long vacation to lower everyone's nerves, and we continue to be well, slowly. We just got back to NYC from a week in Minnesota visiting my larg-ish side of the family, and it was obviously more difficult for Malcolm (age 8, PDD-NOS)and his anxiety (after un-nerving end to Day Camp) than being with family had been at Xmas --- and he did actually have a full-out meltdown on the plane there with really rough landing and ears, always a problem for Malcolm but one that he has been handling well for many years now! In fact, I haven't seen a full-out meltdown in awhile, so it was shocking to me!!! Lost a full day of gameboy privileges for that one, he did, and sent Mom into a tizzy of depression that lasted a few days, but thank God for understanding and loving family that whisked Malcolm into fun, calm activities at the farm and lake and handed Mom beers and tissues until we all felt better.

More and more, he is starting to talk about what happened during Day Camp, --- and I do think we are now beginning the talks that will go more into his dx, which so far we have handled by talking about his symptoms as challenges, which they are, which all people have in varying degrees, which they do... Just like SEX, a talk we had thoroughly last year after many questions, he is now starting to ask more questions about his difficulties, and I think he is now ready to learn more and the bigger picture will now be helpful to him!

After watching him with his cousins, though, I am clear that SOMEHOW we must find ways for him to now spend more quality time with neurotypical kids. Camp was too much too fast in the long run, and he needs more exposure and connection under more controlled settings. He does interact with cousins very well for short periods of time, then needs breaks. I think we need to build his NT endurance now. But how to do it? If I had endless amounts of money, we would so adopt a younger sibling, we want to but there's no way both financially and energy-wise with how much I have to work, wish I had a fairy godmother that could help there...

I am now working on an immediate plan, which I think will involve chess club and acting classes, 2 electives he excelled in during Camp this summer. Also, I will organize lots more small group playdates with NT kids. He has always had a few good NT friends, but because of going to ASD school, his many best friends are other high-functioning ASD kids -- the best kids on the planet, of course, but he needs more regular connection now with NT kids as well.

New project.

Also, he needs more work on competition, which I wouldn't even bother with so much except he WANTS to compete and do sports, even, but camp really fell apart for him there. He couldn't handle that level of active competition yet, and he was embarrassed by his inability. I have to think about that project more. How to bridge the gap between the gentle (almost non-)competition he gets in special needs settings and the harsh reality of NT, ugh.

Anyways, now we are off for a week at country house in Poconos with dh and my mom, who came back with us from MN to hang out for a few weeks more. Then (at last) back to school. Last night he actually slept the entire night in his own bed, so I know he is almost back to relaxed. And I do see the growth in him, in his conversations, in the stories he is writing now (budding author). Whew!

I don't really have access to email for long periods of time when away, it was fun to read what everyone's been up to while I was out of touch (Congrats again, Suzi, on Baby Tristan, woo hoo!!!)

Back after Labor Day,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 12:13pm
It sounds like your vacation activities have helped ease Malcolm through the trauma he experienced at the end of camp.

Pat

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. --