Vacation wth an aspie..The unabridged v
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| Fri, 07-20-2007 - 4:08pm |
The good the bad and the ugly... A vacation with an ASpie. 12 years old looks like he is 9.. Mind of his own and yet a PIA in his own right.. Truly a loner at times and yet fits in some how at times.
We went for a 7 trip. First to the Bahamas on a cruise with my family, then we drove up to Orlando to see the Mouse for a day and Universal the other.
We got smart and left a day before the cruise to allow for screw ups and delays if any at the airport. The plane ride went well. Gave ourselves time for transitions and no melt downs. Good plan to those of you thinking about vacations. Always plan for transitions days. Go with the early flights and just hang out at the hotel and even swim a little at the pool before you descent on the vacation place of choice. Kids menus usually have the things your aspie will only eat. Always look for a resturant with a kids menu.lol
On the day of the cruise, we left early to give ourselves plenty of time. And with an Aspie fixated on time and place if any kinks or delays occur being early is a good thing. Also now is not the time to take away game boys, DSs or any pocket obessions away. Make sure they are readily availble. It might help to relieve any potential stimming and obessing. Another thing,.during the summer we tend to give Josh a drug holiday from his Focalin, but the day we were leaving on the cruise we did gove him the meds, so if you usually drug holiday over the summer, At least on vacation you may want to restart or do the pills on an as needed basis. Also talk through what might happen the metal detectors. The fact for us sharing as much info as possible with every other tourist that Aspie might met. If you don't want that other person to know your bra size don't let your aspie know because it ends up fair gain(just kidding but aspies sometimes like to share lots of info) Josh liked to talk to people..
For Josh he enjoyed the cruise he was happy to see his cousins and he liked that we made sure we walked around the ship to find where every thing was. He also refused to do the Camp Carnival but at his age he was allowed to sign himself in and out..lol Yes we did let Josh loose on the ship. He was quite content. He checked in routinly with us. Had his soda card so he I am sure went overboard on soda, plus he knew where the food was. Heck
Caffine does hAVE some stuff similar to the Focalin so I wasn't that upsent And vacations are not the time to get into pissing matches over food obbesions. We sually don't have soda in the house. And part of being on vacation is eating or drinking stuff not normaly on the menu (Lets just say MOm over here enjoyed quite a few Rum punches and all.
The Island of Nassau was fun, but just remember when arguing with one's spouse in front of an Aspie prepare for your words to be repeated back towards the spouse you are arguing with. Josh has been known to use my words in Arguments with DH as an echo. I like the back up sometimes but...
We did a beach and JOsh enjoyed the water, although Sea water can sting the eyes. All of us enjoyed this. But when we were to met back with our tour guide Josh was like our alarm clock to remind us to get back to the boat. Josh did met up with another boy who was a year younger than him the 2nd day of the cruise. The day at sea. They hung out a bit. But that bad Aspie Flat leaving habit can get in the way. Or at least making sure they tell their new friends the are leaving.. But the other kid thought he did something wrong. We reassured the other boy. Over all the cruise was great.
Orlando well that was another story.
The drive up was fine. Always rent a car with a similar set up as your own so all kids can have their usual assigned seats. If you have a mini van, by Gosh rent a mini van then each kid will go to the seat they usually sit in. If you rent a car where they all have to sit right next to each other .. prepare for arguments, tatilling hitting etc. When buying tickets for theme parks with ages for tickets, if your aspie is small for their age go with it. Chances are they won't do enough rides to make the more expensive older person ticket worth it. Josh looks 9, the 5-9 year old tickets were cheaper, the AAA person we bought the theme park tickets from never asked Josh's age , we didn't tell so Josh got in 10$ less than his true age. Heck ask if there is a handicappped rate hiding somewhere, because it isn't like our kids will go on alll of the rides anyway. Also if they have a baby swap(Universal did and i am sure Disney does too, so that the adult stuck with the baby/toddler not able to go on a specific ride can go with out waiting on line all over again can go on. see if they can do an Aspie exchange) But Josh was not into any heavy duty rides and DH tends to claim motion sickness(total dodge I think) so he got Josh and I usually took the other 2 on all the rides they were tall enough for. Josh also will not take picture with or go near any Costumed Characters. Never had and never will even though I would think by now he knows they are not real. Also again make sure you go with the Kids menu items. And also realize, yes food obessions can make Aspies deaf when it comes to explaining why that chicken noodle bowl soup is not the same thing you like, because it is an Asian style versus the regular type. So that is not the time to get into pisssing matches either. We were in a food court at Disney where the fare was Asian and Josh insisted that he wanted the chicken soup. DH tried to explain tha tit was not like Mom's noodle soup. but he got it any way. Welll clear noodles and Bok Choy turned out to not be Josh's cup of tea./ And he putzed around eating it and all. DH was mad about spending money on food he knew Josh was notr going to eat and was going to force Josh to eat it or let the kid starve.(remember thread about the fact these kids just don't get it) So after awhile of watching Josh well be himself. I just said screw it and got him another meal and got him off the kids menu a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that the kid wolfed down. again picking and choosing the battles.
Over all I think we all enjoyed our vacation. But part of me well i hate to say it and I don't know if any of you feel this way. but sometimes I feel like Josh is such a killjoy with certain things. He can just suck the life out of any thing we do sometime so obessed. Esp food and what is going to happen next, time etc Thank goodness for watches
Doesn't seem to care about what anybody else wants. I know he will argue with us and get into our arguements but not because he cares about the subject but just to be. I guess i know what to expect with Josh, but yet I keep going into things with high expecations.Which can get dashed when you let it. Simple family time gets so complicated sometimes with an Aspie.
Sometimes you just want to leave him home. And yet i know we ha a good time.
Also another Aspie type. Spend the extra money onrenting a GPS sysytem if you are traveling It helped us get around and no arguements about directions. Just type in where you want to go and let the GPS tell you where to go
Any other tips..etc Thaks for your patience if you go this far The end
Rina

Wow Rina, What a trip. I know what you mean when you say they can suck the fun out of things. Sometimes it seems like that. I mean I love the kids dearly and I know these vacations with them are fun in their own right, but they are soooooo much work. And there are always such trials that sometimes it seems like more work than it is worth, kwim?
The kids will still have wonderful memories though and it is worth it. Heck I wonder if our moms felt the same way.
Renee
I don't deny the trip was fun. I guess it is a matter of prespective. You know what you are bringing into the new situation. And the victories need to be more of what they did enjoy. At Disney Josh enjoyed the Hall of Presidents without his brothers who would have found that boring. Josh was enjoying the independence of the ship.. I guess I enjoyed myself more on the ship where Josh was able to be on his own. With Disney and Universal it was more work. But for ourselves. I know That we kind of rushed through those 2. We could use at least a week in Orlando to see more and not feel rushed.
But The fun sucking issue I am not sure how to cure that. It is not like they are totally impressed with things.And when they get their monds stuck on an issue like food it is hard to sway them from it.
Rina
Sounds like you guys had alot of fun, but I do understand about the fun being sucked out of alot of stuff lol. Its hard.
Vacations were a nightmare before, because truthfully, we didn't understand the things we do now about the boys. One thing I have learned now..... I will never take them to Vegas again LOLOLOL. It will just be for us adults. I really do think the sounds, chaos, large groups of people in the hotel's and gamerooms for kids set them off much more than other vacations do.
They can handle Disneyland (as long as we remember middle of the day breaks to the hotel for pool time) and then we can control it much better. We also separete like you did if it got so bad. That always works.
I could never figure out how come things were soooo hard to deal with for them in Vegas. I mean increased aggression, more anxiety, more outbursts, etc......
Food issue's, well thats a big part of our life, and I do understand what you and your hubby went thru when the noodles weren't the same as at home. And I do remember the frustration of paying for a meal, only for it to be wasted and have to buy another. BTDT.
All in all, thinking ahead and giving tips really helps. I love the tips you gave and it means I will think more about it, the next BIG vacation we will have. We were thinking about camping one last time here before summer ends. I was already considering buying a second hammack so the boys wouldn't fight so much over them (I can't believe I am even considering it, but you know its a small price to pay, when it causes so many fights). But we decided to cancel camping. With the price of Gas, along with some mounting bills like the psy for the boys and myself, and for the extra money with the meds that we now take, its getting tight. So we decided to take a one day trip to a really cool waterpark, and I think it will be easier for them to handle versus 5 days of camping.
Lainie