Vaccine confusion and guilt
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| Sun, 04-23-2006 - 9:21pm |
I hesitate to post this, but just need to get this out of my system. This is controversial and I don't want to upset anyone, but I just need support and to vent. I also need regular "dr. mom" advice and "asd mom advice."
About 2 weeks ago Eric had is 4 yr. check up. The booster for the MMR was on the agenda. I was ambivalent, and had decided to ask her to divide them up. DH went with us, I was hoping he could back me up if our ped had a problem. She did. We eventually caved, after first telling her we would postpone until we had thought it out. The reasons we gave in are several, there is the mumps problem going around now, although it seems in the midwest, still. Also, he had the others already. If the damage was done, it was done. We don't feel the vaccines "cause" autism per se, but we have seen evidence our son gets really sick whenever he has them. I think whatever genetic tendency for autism is there, gives him a weak immunology and environmental triggers, even something much less hostile than a vaccine, upsets his delicate balance. It doesn't "cause it" it just activates it or makes things worse, if that makes sense. I strongly felt this, but caved.
So, we go home DS seems ok. Not like with every other vaccine where he has had a fever and been SCARY SICK, if you know what I mean. He was relatively ok. But, he started drinking and peeing, and peeing, and peeing, and drinking etc. and this has gone on for two weeks. I gave him an epsom salt bath, he didn't want to get out. We've been doing this every night, which is ok, but I wonder if it is sign too. Now this week he has gone for 4 days w/o a bm. He's been "trying" and said he had to go. But nothing. Plus he's been sleeping much longer. Even gone back to afternoon naps! Although he seems energetic otherwise. Today he finally had a bm and it was a terrible struggle, poor baby. He kept asking me to help him. I felt so terrible. It's not due to his diet, he's drinking tons, lots of fiber. He's also taking his probiotics and digestive enzymes.
So my DH says he's convinced it's the vaccines. He's ready to go the DAN route,despite the cost. I am on the fence, though I am the "researcher" in the family and the "granola head" if you know what I mean. With DH this kind of came out of nowhere, it seems to me. And that puzzles me. I think he just empathizes with Eric so much and his pain with the bm thing, and decided we'd do whatever it takes, which is sweet.
We had previously (like 3 mos. ago) made an appt. with a pediatric GI bc of Eric's general, historic, bm problems. That appt. is this week. This doc says 1/3 of his practice is ASD kids (but he is not a DAN doc), so I am hoping he will be helpful then after seeing him, maybe we can make a decision.
But I feel so guilty about the stupid shots. In my heart I didn't want to do them. I wanted to space them out so he didn't get hit with all that junk at the same time. I should have pushed the ped. But at the same time, don't want him to get the mumps, or worse. I hate this stuff. On the other hand, Eric handled these better than when he was younger, perhaps bc he had all the vitamins supplements and was in great health prior to having the vaccines, which was not the case in the past before I knew.
Don't know what I am asking except, don't you all find all this stuff so confusing? It just seems like every area of the ASD puzzle requires so much parental brain power and determination. I feel like a failure so often and now I feel like some spineless wimp too.
Thanks for "listening".
Katherine

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meg, hi, I'm new here.
((HUGS))
This is just one more of those things you have to deal with having a child on the spectrum. I remember when it was time to give Ella her mmr i was literally sick to my stomach because I just had so much concern about what affect it would have on her and I did explain my fears to the ped. She told me that I had the right to refuse it but she also had the right to refuse to treat my kids if I didn't! What do you do?? I ended up giving her the shot but she never had any reaction unlike Jake who to this day has trouble with BM's.Jake has a well appoinment on Friday(3yr old visit) and I'm not sure if he's due any shots so I'm already nervous about it. It shouldn't be like this. You should be able to vacinate you child and feel like you are doing something to help protect them not feel like you are possibly hurting them!
Teresa
I am floored that some doctors would refuse to treat a patient just because the parent had a legitimate worry about what was being put into their child, while the child was already healthy I might add.
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