Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Vent
6
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 12:00am

I am feeling very, very low. I am SO fed up with education, with schools, with noone who can really help us, with endless possibilities that COULD be great or even just tolerable, and no possibilities at all. Every direction I think of even trying or making a stab at --- well, there stands another MOUNTAIN of work and investigation and where am I ever going to find the next step in educating this boy without going completely insane?

He just almost wasted a year. WHAT an annus horrible...

My sister, a terrific educator, is sending me material so I can test him at home and see where he is compared to other 4th graders. We go for Lindamood-Bell auditory processing testing on Tues. and we shall see what the results there are, and then will consider their "Visualizing and Verbalizing" program, which is hugely expansive but we will cross that bridge when we come to it!!

Other funded non-public special ed schools. Private schools, unfunded special ed (very expensive, but great!) or just super small and caring NT that might be willing to work with him. Public school gifted programs with understanding principals. Charter school for high-functioning kids of different disabilities. New Asperger's program in a public school starting WAY WAY far away from us in another borough. Home school him, get OT, social skills, SPT services.

Or send him back to icky current school with a para and try our luck ... Oh, I think not, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, the anxiety, his feelings about going back, my feelings of betraying him. They don't want him back, I can't imagine! DH is also against it, although we laughed at idea of sending him in tomorrow in boxing gloves with a coach and trainer. Bring on the pop-tarts!

Life sucks. I have a big, big headache that won't go away. I want to run off onto a desert island with my 2 men and never ever return. How much is that question, Paula, 50 milion dollars? I think I need much more $, actually. Build a school, or maybe just hire tutors and staff for a cruise ship, invite all my friends and their kids to close up their houses and leave their jobs and let's go port to port to see the world while raising our kids. And bring the Cabana Boys...

Malcolm, thank Gawd, is doing terrifically well, I was thinking today how relaxed and happy and funny he is now that he isn't in school. Every day he is better and better, what a pleasure. Tonight he negotiated for extra screen time brilliantly by pointing out to me how many difficult moments and disappointments he had navigated today while being polite and gracious, even when he really wanted things to go differently. He was completely correct. I had to give him 10 more minutes, even though he WAS going for 30 (It was after bedtime) although HE IS NOT GETTING UP FOR THE BUS FOR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! I am calling him in as not attending. Every day this week.

DH and I are going to see how long it takes us to come out of complete funk overwhelm and even start to think of taking an actual next step. Oh, tomorrow I am calling OTs as we have extra outside time, might as well start using it!

Sigh. Damn. Stop the world I wanna get OFFFFFFF!!!!

Sara
ilovemalcolm

Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: ilovemalcolm
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 1:00am

Oh man, Sara, this really sounds crappy. I really feel for you. I wish there was magical answer. When I was reading your post, I kept thinking you ought to move somewhere completely different, where there is a great school that's perfect for Malcolm. I know, it's not as easy as all that, though.

Malcolm is lucky to have you as a mom. You are so caring, and doing your best to help him thrive and be happy. Our elementary school has been very good, but I do have experience with a preschool situation that was creepishly bad...and I have at least a small understanding of how that can affect a child, special needs or not. I think it's great that you aren't putting up with that, or making Malcolm put up with it.

Best wishes,
Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: ilovemalcolm
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 12:24pm

Dear Sara,


You have every right to vent. Non parent one should be in this position. It goes against so much which we have been raised to believe: Basic right to an appropriate education, and all that.


Geez yes. For you we could make it $500 million. How's about an even billion?

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
In reply to: ilovemalcolm
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 3:39pm

I completely sympathize with you. I feel like verything is a fight to get something. Why can't things be easier?

My son's school won't even evaluate him, even though I have provided them with diagnosis from two different Dr's, speech evaluationas, OT evaluations and so forth. They don't think he needs to be evaluated- he is just fine. Now, what kills me is that a child with a lisp can easily get services and I promise you that my son's condition is way worse than a lisp.

Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: ilovemalcolm
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 4:30pm

Jeepmama,

Are you aware that federal law requires that they evaluate him if you ask them to, within 60 days of your request (possibly shorter, depending on your state)? It's a well-kept secret, but it's also part of IDEA (hence the lightbulb emoticon).

Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
In reply to: ilovemalcolm
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 7:29pm

Sara
You have every right to vent and this is the best place to do it.
You must also know that you have done everything possible for your son. He is so fortunate to have you and dh as parents.The situation you are in is unbelievable. It will all work well. Take care of yourself. The cabana boys are on their way to you bearing chocolate and large quantities of bubblebaths.

CJ

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
In reply to: ilovemalcolm
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 8:09pm

Sending HUGS, HUGS, and more HUGS for ds and dh too...............
God give you the stregnth and wisdom you need.

Nora