VENTING

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
VENTING
6
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 3:25pm

Today was Vaughn's last day of school. It was suppose to be an easy day. The class was going to go to the local park and play on the swings for the morning. I was already putting the shoes on my little guy to join them at the park when the phone rang. Vaughn's having a major meltdown and I need to pick him up. Great!

I didn't mind having to pick him up.....no biggie....he would not be missing anything. I got there and he is hiding under one of the juggle-gyms - balled up, covering his ears, crying and rocking. I can't get him to come out. I find the principal and she tells me that Vaughn (along with some other kids) were on the merry-go-round and they were told by one of the male teachers (who I don't know) to get off of it.....everyone did except for Vaughn. He proceeds to yell at Vaughn, who is now screaming back at him.....refusing to get off of the merry-go-round. The teacher tries to physically remove my son from the equipment.....Vaughn breaks free from his grasp and grabs a branch that is on the ground and starts swing.....hitting a child in the face. He then runs under the gym set where I find him.

Here is the vent......

The city is going to remove the merry-go-round because a child broke his arm on it a couple of weeks ago. All of the children were told to stay off of this ride. Von KNEW he was not suppose to go on this.....he even told me about the boy getting hurt. I reminded him that very morning that he is not allowed to play on that piece of equipment. But there he was......

I don't know how to feel about this.......

I feel angry - he knew he wasn't suppose to be on it.......why couldn't he just get off of the ride like the other kids did......why didn't his teacher or someone who knows how he responds to certain situations step in and get him off the ride in a calm manor instead of having this man (who doesn't know him) yelling at him and then trying to physically remove him....

But another part of me is upset for him........he was excited this was the last day of school......he gets over-stimulated in the bright sun and heat, all the other kids yelling and screaming......yet again, another adult doesn't understand him and just assumes he is being bad and yells at him and then gets physical with him (does not hurt him).

I finally got him to come out when I said that I was taking him home. I took him back up to school to gather what little items were still at school. Unfortunately, his guidance counselor wasn't there yet (she would be in that afternoon).....I wanted to give her a little gift we had for her and take Vaughn's picture with her....so we just left the gift.

I'm a little heartbroken that he could not hold it together for one final day and end on a nice note for the summer......instead I am slightly pissed at him but also I feel bad for him.......

Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
In reply to: jinxgirl2001
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 4:23pm
(((((Hugs)))))

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jinxgirl2001
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 10:06pm

Thank you Tina for your kind words. Thank God for summer vacation.....I've had enough of school.....it's been a rough couple of months.

Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: jinxgirl2001
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 10:48pm

((((((((((Christie)))))))))),


I really felt for you, reading that post.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
In reply to: jinxgirl2001
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 12:59am

Dear Christie,

This is so not Vaughn's fault. How did those kids end up on the merry-go-round in the first place? Of course Vaughn just followed them happily on. His body followed the hsppy kids, the "rule" that he repeated for you had nothing to do with his actions. That is how it can be for our kids. His reaction to the teacher is from confusion. Our kids gets easily confused. He panicked, and the teacher escalated the panic. What a bad scene. I am angry with that teacher, because that is really close to abuse, what he did, and not knowing is no excuse. The school is at fault here. not Vaughn.

Those other kids knew better and got on, where was the supervision that was to have stopped them BEFORE this happened? And how can it be that this teacher doesn't know about Vaughn, the Vaughn is unsupervised by trained personnel given his disability? As Paula said, this so easily could have ended up with an injury, and how very very sad it ended as it did. This incident should definitely be brought up with the school as an example of the need for staff training, an aide, understanding, trained supervision.

Big (hugs) to you both. This type of reaction sadly comes directly from his dis-ability to read social cues and comprehend them in context. As he gets older, hopefully he will learn more about coping mechanisms under frightening, confusing situations like this, but as these types of situations are so unpredictable as to when they will happen and what they ARE when they happen, well, it's like always walking onto hidden land mines for them.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

(Ooops, Paula has her hat on!!! alright!!!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jinxgirl2001
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 11:02am

Thank you CL-Paula.....one of your first official posts as our CL....how cool!

Anyway.....I was initially not going to make any type of fuss over this since it was the last day of school and he will not be going back there next year (this particular school is for K thru 2nd only.....so he will be in a new school next year)......but I think the principal needs to re-examine how they handle trips off of the school grounds - especially when there are kids with special needs. Yes, Vaughn should have had someone with him.....at the very least his teacher should have been close by......Vaughn does not have an aide and he is in a regular mainstream classroom. I was on my way up there - unfortunately I was running late. I do go on most of the fieldtrips because he NEEDS supervision (he will wander off)......so I guess this is partially my fault too.

Anyway.....I know better than to be angry with him.....it is just my knee-jerk reaction. I know his AS is at the root of this but the meltdown could have been avoided.

I can't change what has happened but I can let the principal know what I think and feel and hopefully something like this won't happen again.

Thanks,
Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jinxgirl2001
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 11:18am

"like walking into hidden land mines for them".............so true.

Thanks Sara! Yes, this incident is a good example as to why ALL of the teachers and staff need to be trained......but the school has those training sessions and very few of the staff actually take anything away from these training sessions/seminars......they just want the kids to sit still and quietly do their work......they just don't care that there are kids that have great difficulty doing so.

Thank God for summer......my guy needs the break from school.....so do I.

Thanks again,
Christie