Warning...Long Pityfest

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Warning...Long Pityfest
23
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 10:08am

I am at the lowest point I've been in years, and for somebody who hates the "poor, poor, pitiful me" mentality, I realize that I'm way beyond that point.

I wish it was just the autism factor, but it's so much more than that. I'm miserable living in this town, I'm sick of my in-laws showing such blantant favoritism towards SIL's kids, and I'm tired of of my "Fabulous DH" not having the guts to stand up for himself and our family. (Recent huge problems at his job.)

I think the lowest moment came on Friday night. It was my birthday and I had made plans to go scrapbooking. (The only outside activity in my life.) These women are the closest things to friends I have, but we don't see each other outside of scrapbooking and that only occurs 1-2x's/per month. Well perhaps I should qualify that. THEY all see each other (they have a Bunco group, etc.), but I'm not included in any of the other activities. In my warped mind, I thought they'd do the "semi-party" that they do for every other birthday. Typically somebody brings a cake, and everybody brings cards, etc. Evidently I didn't rate high enough because even though they all knew it was a my birthday, only one of them managed to acknowledge it.

I'm also painfully jealous of my mom and two sisters right now. Last week mom and my oldest sister made plans to fly to Colorado to see my other sister. For years we've talked about "all four of us" doing something together/traveling somewhere...which is something we've never done. But I was conveniently left out of the equation. I'm very hurt, especially since mom is 73 now. It's not like there's going to be many more opportunities.

Yesterday (after DH and I had a blow-out) I spent the day in bed, and it's looking like that's where I'll end up today. I just don't think I can face another day of having no friends, no job, no money and no hope. Being "autism mom" 24/7/365 is bad enough...but with everything else...I don't even know if I can properly express myself anymore, so I won't bother trying.

To top it all off, I read in the paper that the district's autism consultant passed away on Saturday. She'd been very sick with cancer. She did the best she could, considering how pathetic this district is, and she was a wonderful, kind woman. Noah loved her.

I worked so hard to get off the anti-depressants so we could have another baby. Perhaps it's time to give up that dream and go back on the meds.
Sorry ladies...

-Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 3:30pm

Paula,

You know MY thoughts on Board Hoiday Parties. If you want/need/demand help, you can count on me.

Renee,

Vegas.

Amy,

You are always welcome to come spend some down time at my house! We have golf courses near by, and I even have my guest room looking like a guest room now... not like when Renee came to visit and it was still the repository of all things that didn't have homes elsewhere in the house. Sorry 'bout that Renee. We have shopping, museums, the staduim, ancient indian ruins... all within 5 miles of the house! Jade makes a mean chocoffee.

And Renee, if I were rich I'd go ahead and build that Aspie Commune. There'd be all the stuff we've already talked about, but Hippylady and I feel that there would HAVE to be a 'retreat for caretakers' that involved luxury accomodations, room service, and Cabana Boys (and massuers named Sven).

Hey Paula, there's an excersize! We could all chime in and say what we'd like to see in an ASD Commune. Oh the dream building of it all.

Oh, and there's online gaming for blowing off steam. Nothing like killing a few hundred Minions of Doom to get out the agressions. I play Warcraft online with some friends from Canada who are dealing with the spectrum. The mom in that family says it helps immmensely, lol.

~Candes

APOV on Autism

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 4:12pm

I am just letting you all know there is a positive to all of this. In looking up something about Aspie when the whole shock therapy incident. I found a very interseting site. It is called www.aspiesforfreedom.com It is a very interseting site. It has a BB for adult aspies, an dBB for parents and news etc. But it looks like it was put together by Aspies. And for what it is worth. They look at Asperger's as a mixed blessing. I saw many posting that really made me realize as adults they think it is the rest of the world that is crazy not them. They know what they are about and are not afraid of it. They know their weaknesses and their strengths. They even offer advice to the parents of young children with Aspie. I found it to be a truly fasinating place to check out.

Check it out.

Rina

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 11:05pm

You know I'm up for anything.


Amy, I love you, and thank you SO much for opening yourself up to us like this.

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