What are family gatherings like for you?
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| Mon, 04-17-2006 - 2:35pm |
Yesterday being Easter made me think of this question......
I'm starting to hate holidays.......most of our holidays including gathering with extended family and having some type of a meal. Vaughn (my aspie) has a very limited list of food items that he is willing to eat.
There is always someone in the family (mainly to two grandfathers) that insist that EVERYONE sit down with the whole family and eat what is prepared. So EVERY holiday we do battle with my son to try to get him to sit at the table with everyone and to eat at least one item.....even if it is just a roll.....ANYTHING. This always turns into a bad scene......me begging and bargaining......son crying and tanturming......husband getting angry and yelling.
What I have been doing lately is making him eat something (anything) before we go over to the relatives for dinner. When it comes time for family dinner time, I tell him that he is excused because he already ate. Well this upsets the grandparents because they want everyone at the table, the other parents get angry because then all of their kids are whining that they are not hungry and they want to go play with my son. So then we tried to get him to just sit at the table (having been already fed).....but he complains about the smell of the food or the noises that others are making while they eat (he is hypersensitive to smells and sounds). I also tried making him something that he will eat (off of his very short list).....but then all the other kids want special meals as well.....again I get dirty looks from the other mom's and dad's. I just can't win.
I just don't know what do to about this. I don't want my son to associate every holiday with a battle at the dinner table. I don't want to do battle either.
Anyone else have this issue? BTDT? Advice or suggestions?
TIA,
Christie

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Thank you for posting. It is a shame that you had to be reduced to tears in order to get some slack from your FIL.....makes sense that he may have AS (or ADD, ADHD) tendancies.....he was probably forced to do certain things as a child (eat everyting on his plate, be quiet at the dinner table, etc.) so he naturally assumes that your son needs to be forced as well.....
Christie
DH's family is the main problem....they mean well but no one has a clue as to what AS is and they have no intentions on learning about it. I know they all view my son as just lacking discipline.....a swift kick in the behind would cure everything....
I definitely need to be a united front with husband.....that way we can dismiss other's comments but simply stating - "we're the parents and this is how we are handling the situation - end of story."
Christie
Evelyn....this is GOOD! Thanks! I like how it is worded....that is the hard part for me is trying to explain AS in a small, easy to understand statement.....not such an easy task.
Christie
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