what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
what to do?
4
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:11pm

Okay, I am trying to decide what to do this summer.

- Christina mom to-

Chloe (10)    Aiden(8)   

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cbalzly
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 6:49pm

That is a tough one and you can not and should NOT do everything. Your whole lives and that of your children do not revolve around being a special needs family. A lot of the benefit your children are going to get from you is straight parenting and loving them up and being a family. I am going to give you my standard advice of what works for me when planning this stuff.

I look at it like a budget. Not only do I have a budget of money to provide therapy, but a time budget, an energy budget, and even the child's time and energy, then what the entire family can handle from the family budget.

So I come up with a general idea of what is in our "budget". Can we "afford" 1 therapy per child, etc.

Next I look at the available options. Where am I going to get the most "bang" for my buck. Can any of the options "give back" to the family budget.

So in this case you have options for Chloe of this 4 day a week camp, OT, and maybe some other things like a social group. With this camp, will it give back to the family budget by allowing you time to spend with your other 2 children? Will it take care of OT and social needs there so there isn't other outside appointments beyond the 2x a day pick up. You already mentioned she will freak out if she finds out you have done something. We have been through that and there are ways you can work on that. You don't need to be a prisoner in your house for fear of her reaction if you have fun.

Next, where do you feel she gets the most benefit? or Are any of these beneficial to her?
Are any of these things that which you already address at home or can be addressed at home?
Are any of these things that which can be addressed through other more typical means? For instance, Swimming is THE BOMB and my kids get as much sensory out of swimming as they do a 30min therapy session if not more. Plus all the kids go, we have fun, etc.

My family is likely different then yours but I know what I would do in our case. I would check out this camp. If it looks like something the child would really enjoy and she would get social and OT benefit from it, I would do it and ditch the others. I also wouldn't do it all summer but save a few weeks for family activities.

If the camp was bunk (and some are) and it would be boring for her and she would not get the needed benefit then I would ditch it and the play therapy (since you don't feel it works). Keep the OT if it does and plan activities from home which can address some of the concerns you have.

finally, most likely a full day program for kids with special needs is likely to have some of the same skills interventions an OT would do so yes, if I was putting her in the stride program I would drop OT.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: cbalzly
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 7:27pm
Hi Christina,
I really feel for you in this situation. You feel like you're stuck between that cliche 'rock and hard place' that people are often talking about. I too am trying to figure out just what to do with my almost 8 y.o. ds, while not driving my 4 y.o. ds and myself crazy in the process! ;) I know it's an agonizing process, but just know that whatever you choose to do, there's really no right or wrong answer here and you need to do what feels right to you. I read your post several times and it sounds like OT isn't really doing all that much for Chloe. Sounds like the camp might just benefit her and give you much needed quality time with Aiden. At this point, you don't know what will work and what won't and if she will get upset over your alone time w/ Aiden. However, if you don't give it a try, you might always wonder. I hope I didn't misread your post (I'm a pretty tired mom myself and I'm taking migraine meds that make me drowsy and stupid, lol), so I hope my advice makes sense. Good luck and let us know what you decide!
Irene
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
In reply to: cbalzly
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 10:12pm

I feel your pain. We have so many therapies for Liam (and a few for Cian mind you), I often have to play "what's best for which child and me today."

Can you take a break from OT during STRIDE dates? I have done that in the past (although if you see my other post, the OT break may be a wee bit longer than anticipated;). You can't do it all, and yes we need to remember the other kid in the family. Thankfully Roan is so little, I can still lug her around, but I know in a year or two it'll get harder. I think that program for Chloe sounds like a fabulous opportunity....man wish we had something similar for Liam.

I totally kwym about the taking the other kids anywhere fun. If I even take Cian to McDonalds I hide the toy when Liam gets home....just not worth the meltdown and the screams of unfairness that will suely ensue:) Lately though poor Cian is such the neglected child. Liam downright demands attention and Roan is a baby so she of course gets attention with a whimper. Cian is such a poor middle child....I need to sort out some Mom and Cian time, no baby no crazy brother.....just Mom and Cian, ('course with the screaming jealous brother....yeh I know, g'luck...lol).

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
In reply to: cbalzly
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 12:51pm

Thank

- Christina mom to-

Chloe (10)    Aiden(8)