What to do about computer games...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
What to do about computer games...
2
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 4:51pm

DS (age 7) NLD/AS is having a very difficult time playing computer games and maintaining control of his emotions. The GameBoy is already in time-out because he was just too intense, obsessed and out of control. Today he was playing a game on Nick.com, yelling at the computer and eventually crying while playing b/c he was not winning. Then, when I told him he was going to have to go find something else to do b/c his turn on the computer was over, he started yelling at me and tried to hit me. How can I teach him the difference between fantasy and reality?? He really internalizes it and thinks he is a complete failure when he loses. I hate to take away computer games altogether because he really does LOVE them most of the time, but I think I might have to if I can't figure out a way to show him that it is supposed to be fun...that it is nice to win but it isn't the end of the world if you don't. Poor kiddo...what is a mommy to do. Any ideas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 5:21pm

This is a tuff one. I think I would start to limit which games he can play, just let him play the simpler ones where he can win, for awhile. Competition, winning and losing or also hit and miss with my ds. He has built up his gaming skills so that very few games frustrate him now the way you describe, but it has happened.

He also usually wins when he plays his friends, but he does have a few friends that are better sometimes. And sometimes he does fine with losing to them, sometimes not. This all takes time. I have never taken games away from him completely, but I have enforced time limits and given him breaks occasionally.

I guess I would gently inform him that you are unhappy with how upset he gets on certain games and so for awhile, they are off-limits until he is a little older and better able to handle the games and how they make him feel.

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 8:47pm

My son, Nathan, is also 7. He will only play games that he is familiar with, or games that he feels are easy enough for him. We have a computer (of course!), playstation, and gameboy....he plays simple games on the computer and a few gameboy games, but that's it!

He does the same.... meltsdown, cries, becomes very frustrated and even angry. He is in a social skills class at school, where he is learning the whole "win and lose" thing! We play board games and card games at times, and they also do this at school. It has helped him with losing....he still doesn't like it, but the tantrums are not there. He still stays away from the computer and video type games. But time will tell.......

Its a slow process and it takes time. Nathan also feels like a failure when he can't do something, he takes everything personally. I just keep reassuring him, over and over. The low self esteem and the lack of confidence is an ongoing process.

michelle