What do you all do for social skills?
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| Mon, 03-31-2003 - 11:13am |
Yesterday we went to a pool and she thought the otehr girls her age were out to get her. They were wanting to play with her at first but soon started teasing and not being so nice. there was no way she was going to listen to my ideas about socializing at that time. I did work on it more after the fact. But I am seeing this more often than not in all outside situations. She doesn't seem to be buying it from me and I am tired of being reactive to social problems that arrise.
I would like a social skills curriculum to work on at home. I am also considering outside social skills help. I am thinking about checking into counselling for her through our insurance. Possibly a psychologist or a group run by a psychologist. Any one have good success with any of these things. What are your oppinions.
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When he got to the middle school (7th grade) there was not a social skills class, but it was listed in his IEP, so I insisted they start one. Second semester, they had one in place. He has been in it both years at MS and STILL continues to love it. They have now implemented it in the HS as well, so he will get it again next year for one semester.
The one series that our Psychologist has recommended is "skillstreaming series." I one time did a search for this on Amazon.com, and I believe they do have it.
Good Luck!
Lori
We've seen the most progress with our dd's through scocial skills partners. Ayla had one for 4 years and made significant progress. Jade now has one that she's had for a little over a year and I don't think I could say enough good things about him to do him credit. He is a 16yo from our homeschooling co-op who just seems to have a way with younger children. They flock to him constantly.
He works with her in two different ways. First, he has a scheduled day each week that he spends with her. On this day they study a new concept in scocial behavior by reviweing situations that Jade is likely to find herself in. Then they do some role-playing to help her understand and recognise the situations and behavior. I am present during this time but I rarely interfere. Jade doesn't want to hear what Mom has to say because when it comes from me it just seems like nagging. But when it comes from Shortman (that's his nickname, lol) it seems more acceptable to her.
The second way he works with her is by just doing things together. Like going to the park or skating rink. He acts as her 'on-site' guide and saftey net. He encourages her to socialize with other girls her age and is always close by to help her when she needs it. He uses the other kids around them as examples of what to do and what not to do. He doesn't lecture her when he does this he just asks her a lot of questions. "What did you think when that older boy took his brother's ball?" "What would you do if it was you?" "Is growling or shouting going to get you your way?" and the list goes on, but you get the point. He's also very good at talking her out of her Aspie Funks. She went through this period of calling herself a 'looser' and it seemed like nothing dh, our other dd's, or myself said made any difference. Shortman sat her down ONCE and rationally explained to her why she couldn't possibly be a looser and she hasn't treated herself like that since.
She still has a long way to go with her social skills but nearly every ounce of relationship building skills she has now is directly due to her accossiation with Shortman. My only hope is that when Eva is old enough to benifit from a social skills partner we will be able to find her one as wonderful as Ayla's and Jade's have been.
Candes
Candes
How do you choose and find a social partner. Almost seems like a big sister thing. DO you set up a curriculum or just play dates. Is this a paid activity for the young man?
Thanks,
Renee
We don't pay Shortman for what he does, though we do provide him with a small expense account (petty cash) to do all the things he takes Jade to do. We also bought him passes to the bus, skating rink, etc since he wouldn't otherwise use them if he weren't involved with Jade. His father *has* arrained for him to get school credits for it though. I believe it's listed as Home Ec or Child Care (or something to that effect).
As for finding a social partner for Cait I would suggest you go ahead and call Big Sisters of America. Another boy in our co-op, Abrahamn, was just paired up with a young man from Big Brothers and they seem to be a perfect match for each other. Abrahamn is 14 and has moderate autism. I think his Big Brother is 21 or 22, I'm not sure. You also might talk to the reasource teacher at Cait's school or bring it up in the IEP. I know that some schools already have Social Skills Partner programs in place, though, unfortunatly, not many. Our local public school believes so heavily in them that ALL K-3 students are matched up with kids 2 grades higher. If Cait's school doesn't have a program in place maybe they can start one. Another thought might be to ask around at your church or ones in the area.
As far as curriculum, we don't actually have one in place but Shortman does work from the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's a really good book. We also find stuff on the internet sometimes that is helpful. we once found a site that had a list of what to look for to tell if somone is really your friend or not. I don't remember which site it was but I'm thinking I got there through an OASIS link. Or maybe it was actually on OASIS. If I find the sheet I printed out I will let you know where it came from.
Social Skills Partners really have been a blessing for us. I hope you can find one for Cait. Good luck.
Candes
Candes
At friendship group, which meets every other Monday for about 35 minutes (during school hours) the kids play games or work on projects that they think are fun, but are really designed to teach cooperation, sharing, conflict resolution, etc. Sometimes if Chris is having a hard time with something, I'll call the social worker and see if she can devise an activity that will address the issue.
For instance, Chris was having a tough time with unexpected changes in his classroom. The social worker had the kids play "Uno Attack," where you push a button and you may get one card, a few cards, lots of cards, or no cards. But you don't know which--so you're dealing with the unexpected. After they played, they talked about how they felt playing the game.
The group has been great for Chris and we hope to continue it for as long as he needs it.
Elizabeth
mom to Chris, AS
Renee