What AS traits do you or did you have?

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Registered: 08-26-2005
What AS traits do you or did you have?
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Thu, 03-16-2006 - 10:47pm
Hi all,
I know we all go on about our husbands having their fair share of AS "quirks" but I know I have my own too. I was thinking back on when I was growing up and some of the things I did that I now know are sensory or motor planning related.These are the things I have in common with Jake.
I sucked my thumb while rubbing my nose with my finger everyday until my late teens(Please don't tell anyone LOL)The funny thing is when Jake had a pacifier he would rub his eyelashes while sucking on his nuk.Auditory problems have always been an issue for me. I can't stand anyone chewing near me and I hate waiting in the doctors office because people usually sit and read magazines and I HATE the sound of pages turning.
I also realised when Jake started PT that I have low muscle tone(I'm slouching as I type this).When I was younger I would tire so easily playing sports my mom just thought I was being lasy. I now watch the same thing happen with Jake because of his low tone.Sports in general were not a good thing for me because I was and continue to be so clumsy. I have a million scars from all the times I fell as a child.
School work wasn't a problem for me until around age 10 when Math suddenly became like a foreign language. I can still remmeber what we working on(long mulitiplication) because I never seemed to have a good grasp of it after that. Of course, History and spelling were my best subjects because all you need for that was a good memory!!!!! I don't know what has happened to me now because my spelling is awful and lets not even talk about my memory!
Socially I was very shy and continued to be until I reached my twenties. That's where Jake and I differ, he hasn't got a shy bone in his body and I'm glad.What traits do you share with your child?
Teresa

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:24pm

Great question. I'm new here, so when I first started reading your post I was thinking, "Oh I can name tons of stuff that DH has in common with DS." Then I read on about how you're always going on about your DH's quirks anyway and this wasn't about him this time!


So let me see. DS is very attuned to music

 

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:47pm

Ohhh Lordy!

Well you all know I started recently working with my friend who is an OT and she has been BUSTING on me big time for my sensory issues.

I am very tactile defensive and I HATE HATE HATE messy things and messy hands. Today we were doing shaving cream with some preschoolers and my skin was just crawling. Even just thinking about it makes me twitch!!!!!!

So my boss wants to slowly subject me to more and more sensory things to desensitize me. I wasn't going into this job for therapy for gosh sakes. I went to teach. Let me teach them skills and to heck with the sensory stuff!

Of course I empathize REALLY well with the kids. Today with one boy I was like "no worries pal. I know just how you feel. Lets go wash our hands shall we!"

Oh, and I need a fidget or I chew my nail and cuticles to smiterenes. I wear and autism bracelet (a rubber one) and I realize it has become my fidget which is better than my cuticles actually so I wear it not only as awareness but as therapy for me. Most watches and jewelry make my skin crawl too though. So it is just my wedding band and diamond and not much else.

That is me, sensory girl. There is more ways I empathize with the kids but that is enough infor for you all for now, lol. Lets just say I am a self diagnosed ADHD gal who has had her fair share of social difficulties and am not a fan of eye contact but I am not ASD.

However, the kids seem to have mixed traits from DH and I and hit it dead on center.

Renee

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 6:36am

Good question.

My family has loads of quirky characters and my dad is one of them LOL. He would have so called spells where he would stop what he was doing and go into his own world and make strange sounds then come right out of it again. Weird.

I do believe my mom has Asperger's or something like it. She just seems to miss social clues and a lot of stuff people says goes over her head and she just doesn't get a lot of stuff and she says stuff totally unrelated to what anyone says. She doesn't stop to listen to you and is in her own world.

Me? Well. I am very quirky. I was a very emotional child with many anxieties/phobias and I now know I have SID. I can't stand the feel of many things and certain smells can make me sick. I don't like tight clothes, especially shirts with collars and those tight over my head or on my neck. I don't like loud noises. I always remember closing my ears and eyes during fireworks because of the noise as a child. My DD doesn't even do that. I don't like to go barefoot, especially in public pool bathrooms. It is hard not to like noise because I live in a city apartment complex and loud radios/TVs/subwoofers drive me nuts. I am claustophobic and up kind of uptight. I am shy and introverted and hate having people mad at me.

As for DH, he is pretty good, but introverted and quiet. I feel he has quirky behaviors but he says he is being logical/practical. He doesn't like the feel of messy hands. He gets embarassed real easy so I must be careful not to embarrass him and DD can't help it.

That's us.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
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Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 7:28am

Yup, good good question. Me, low muscle tone and inability to play sports without exhaustion as kid as well as falling apart emotionally. Ds now has built much more muscle tone thanks to intensive intervention which I didn't have. Still working on the falling apart emotionally.

Schoolwork never an issue for me. Everything made sense to me, just like ds.

Socially, I was an outcast, NEVER understood why the kids hated me and picked on me constantly. This we have kept ds from by his school placement, Thank Gawd! I know by age 8, I was also totally depressed. I can read my journals from then to know that one.

Sensory kid, yup. Cried constantly. My dad called me a drama queen. Read books hours and hours every day to desensitize. I do hours of exercise every day now (that's part of my job), keeps my sensory issues at bay but they are still there. Must make lists constantly, hard to stay focused in chaotic world.

Gifted musically as well, as is ds.

Many of these traits my dh also shares, kid got double whammy. Poor baby.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 02-20-2001
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 7:51am
I guess the biggest trait with me would be social inabilities.

 


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Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 8:41am

where to start?

Officially I have ADHD-I, so the overlapping traits are a given.

I also have SID, which probably isn't official, but it's there. My psychologist, neurologist and Siobhan's OT all know about it. My sensory issues are too many to list.

Here are some highlights:

I toe walk. I hate to wear shoes, and when I do wear them, I prefer high heels, because that is the closest to toe-walking. I also like those new lightweight sneakers, because you can toe-walk in them pretty easily.

I am extremely tactile defensive. Woe betide the person who accidently brushes against me! I used to hate sticky/gooey hands, but years of restaurant work fixed that.

I get obsessive about work. I work in high-tech.

I have to avoid jigsaw puzzles, geo-mags or legos, or I can easily get into a mode of obsessively doing them (jigsaws) or sorting them by size and color (legos /geomags)

I miss lots of social cues, but have Theory of Mind (I think!), so no ASD.

I self-injure -not seriously, but I will whack my head off the wall or desk in frustration, or smack myself in the head/pull my hair or scratch myself on the neck. Peter does all of these things.

I growl at other motorists when driving. I wasn't even aware of it, until someone pointed it out to me adding "...And you wonder why Peter growls?"

I will argue with an angry Bull Elephant, if I think I'm right and he's wrong.

I can hear high frequency moises.

The sound of tearing paper makes me want to gag.

I'm a flavor sensory seeker: spicy (very), sour, minty, aniseed/liqorice.

Teresa: Same here with the scars.

I see some of my traits and sensory issues in each of my kids. Probably more so in Peter, -we are very alike sometimes, but also in Siobhan, who will swing for hours if you let her. I was the same.

My sister hates anything on her forearms, She gets the judders when I wear 3/4 length sleeves. Peter was the same, but OT fixed it.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 10:05am

Funny you should ask that question... since I haven't been working the past few months, I've spent A LOT of time reading about AS. It never occurred to me before that I had so many of those traits growing up (and still have some).

One of the big things for me is that I need to have my feet firmly planted on the ground. I never would climb things as a child, and even as I got older, I find it difficult to go up and down steep escalators. I remember going to a hockey game with a friend about 15 years ago, and she laughed at me as I was trying to climb the steps up to the nosebleed section. It's terrifying to me.

Socialization has always been difficult for me. I've always wanted friends, but never knew how to make them. Fortunately, I've had a few close friends throughout life.

And school wasn't always easy for me. Math seeming like a foreign language definitely was true for me. Not sure how I made it through college, but I did.

Laurie

Laurie

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Registered: 02-24-2004
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 11:24am

Well, dh doesn't really share any traits with Nathan. But I definitely do!! I'm not great socially. Especially, when I was younger. I was labeled as shy back then. I did ok in school...A's and B's, and I was a perfectionist too just like Nathan. I like being with small groups of people, intimate conversations. I don't like being around lots of people, but I do fine...just don't prefer it. I like comfy clothes and being home. But I think social interaction is probably the one thing I've always had difficulty with.

I don't do anything repetitive, and I'm not obsessive really. But I do like routine. But I also like change and I like to be spontaneous too. I've always had depression, it comes and goes (but being on meds helps!). And I also have low self esteem. These are two traits that I hope my boys don't inherit!!

michelle

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 8:44pm

I've been thinking about this myself lately.

Sam (AS. 6.75) is quite outgoing to the point that sometimes it can be inappropriate. I can get kinda talkative and then afterwards think, "what the heck was I thinking> Why did I go on like that?!" As a kid I remember saying mean or snobby things without much thought about what other people would think. I'm not good in crowds or groups, I feel like I get lost. I also act differently in a group of people. I feel an urge to get attention but at the same time I don't want to be singled out.

I have alot of sound sensitivities. I don't really like crowded or noisy places and have a hard time distiquishing voices and such in those environments.

I like to have some kind of plan for the day, week, month. If I need to call someone, I like to know what I am going to say before hand. Sometimes I even practice out loud to get the cadence the way I want it....weird! I also don't like when something unexpected happens. I generally break down a bit (we're both drama queens) and then am able to work out a new plan or at least know that all will be ok. My brain feel like it shuts down for a bit and I have a hard time thinking that everything will be ok. It's not always a major deal but I usually can only take it in stride if it has to do with the kids.

I cannot keep my hands still. I knit while I watch tv because if I don't, I pick at my cuticles. If I'm under stress then I cannot stop it at all. When I nurse the baby I pick, in the car, waiting anywhere. I often sit on my hands to stop. I hate it but I haven't figured out how to stop entirely. I used to bite my nails until I was in my teens, and then I started picking my cuticles. Right now we're moving so I'm all out of sorts and my hands look like crap.

I get projects stuck in my head and then I get bored of them and move to other things. A painting, a knitting project, buying new rugs.....etc. All the time. I have about 7 knitting projects and several unfinished paintings plus a quilt or two.....

The idea of hosting a social skills class at my house and having to deal with other kids parents makes me want to puke. I think that's more because of the guilt I've felt in the past when Sam has hurt another person's child, but I also am not good with a bunch of kids running around the house.

Sam has taught me an incredible amount of patience and understanding that I can't imagine I would have learned any other way. Sometimes, though, I feel badly that I'm not as patient and perfect as he needs me to be. If I have a off day then so does he and it doesn't seem fair to either of us.

Chrystee

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Fri, 03-17-2006 - 9:52pm

I think I have quite a few AS traits. Socially, I've always felt a bit out of the loop. Throughout my life I have typically always had one best girlfriend, but hardly any "lesser" friendships. Each time, the best friend has been someone rather outgoing, but who values my "honesty" and "quirkiness". I don't enjoy or understand small talk or gossip. (It astounds me that anyone would even notice Britney Spear's hair, for instance, but apparently people not only notice it, but actually have opinions about it.) When I go to pick up David from school, a lot of other moms stand around and chat in small groups. Having an awareness of AS, I now also am aware that I have no idea how to join in with one of those groups---but I also have no desire to. Sometimes I go to the shopping center with my girlfriend, and I notice that she has conversations with strangers and shop employees a lot. They see her, and say something, and a conversation starts. That NEVER happens to me. I often feel like I've drunk an invisibility potion, because the same people who strike up a conversation with her, walk right past me without a word. It's not like they are avoiding me. It's like they don't see me. I don't think much of it, since it's "normal", but I notice that is not "normal" for other people.

Special interests---When I was in high school, I was completely obsessed with Stevie Nicks. OMG! I had pictures of her all over my walls and all over my notebook. I memorized obscure interviews word for word. I felt sick if I wanted to play a Stevie Nicks record in the living room, but my mom didn't want to hear it. I once demanded that a guest leave my house because she pointed to one of my posters and said, "She looks like a slut in that one." LOL! It's so ridiculous. However---I don't think I talked on and on about Stevie Nicks. Probably because inevitably someone would take a jab at her, and I'd get upset. (Feel free to jab away now, though. I'm over it. LOL!) Now, my obsession is my kids.

Faces---I never gave it much thought until recently, but I often have trouble recognizing faces. I interviewed for a job once, and a few days later, on my first day, I introduced myself to someone, and he reminded me that he had interviewed me. (Thank goodness, he's the same way!) Sometimes I'll see someone and not be sure if it's a stranger or a classmate's mother who I just had a meaningful conversation with last week---so I'm not sure how to greet them.

A lot of human behavior is confusing to me, if I stop to think about it---but I rarely do stop to think about it, expect when it involves my children.

Empathy--I think I do feel empathy, but I also think my son David, who is dx with AS, does too. I don't buy the whole bit about people with AS not feeling empathy. I think it just sometimes seems that way.

Sensory issues---I used to have trouble with sock seams, underwear elastic, and anything touching my neck or my belly button. Nowadays it's only the belly button, which, thankfully, not too many people accidentally touch. Just thinking about it gives me the screaming heebie jeebies. Certain sounds that other people don't seem to notice hurt my ears. Visual clutter, especially with bright lights and moving stuff (like many-lane freeways with lots of billboards) are especially disorienting and difficult for me.

I'm not sure how atypical any of this stuff is. Every person I can think of in my extended family has/had quite a few AS traits. If any one of them got a diagnoses of AS, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. I get along pretty well in life, but I have to admit, I've blundered my way through quite a bit.

Evelyn

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