What would you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
What would you do?
9
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 10:26am

Ds's school has track and field day next week. We went when he was in 3rd grade. We didn't really know what to expect. In his old school (k-2nd) field day was fun outside activities. We found out in 3-5th grade its like a track meet. Well it was torture for ds and us. They made him run around the track. He was sooo far behind everyone else. He was embarrased and upset. We tried & tried to get them to make accomadations for PE. They say they are but its a joke. So the next yr we told ds he didn't have to go. He was so relieved. Same for this yr. Ds told his teacher he had a doctor appointment that day and wouldn't be at school. I didn't tell him to say that. His teacher wrote in his assignment book asking if it was true. Do you think I should tell her the truth or just go ahead with ds fib?

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 10:54am

Samantha,

Was the fib to protect them or protect your DS? if the former, I'd come clean. They need to know that this is torture for him and that they need to change things around.

If the fib was to protect your DS, then stick with it -although that may put him in a sticky situation when the teacher asks how the Dr appt went!

Based on the information I have, I'd probably come clean, but you know all the dynamics better than I.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 11:47am

"Was the fib to protect them or protect your DS?"

I had nothing to do with the fib. Ds decided on his own to tell the teacher that without asking me. I'm debating if I should back him up. I personally hate lying. I tend to tell the truth even when I probably shouldn't, lol. But in this situation I was just not going to send him to school that day. I didn't have a plan for giving a reason. I guess I was just going to say nothing.

I know they should change things around but I honestly don't think its worth the effort for a one day event. We tried and tried for PE in general. Its has gotten better but of course they could do a lot more. He'll have a new PE teacher next yr who I believe is more open minded.

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:04pm
The truth will set you free! My ds (9) hates Halloween - he went in 1st grade but it's just something that makes him anxious and now he never wants to go to school that day. So he doesn't. If anyone asks I just say Noah is not doing Halloween this year - then they look at me like I have 2 heads and then they go away! He also has issues with the school plays, concerts, bingo - anything thats loud, crowded. We've tried them all and now know that we just aren't going to put him through that anymore. When someone asks "are you going..." We just say no and don't elaborate. Jane
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:49pm
I'd just write back something to the effect of "oops, it's not a doctor's appt, but ds is correct that he won't be at school that day". That way you support your ds info about missing school, and the teacher can just assume ds got mixed up about the reasons why.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 3:26pm
I like that idea. Thanks
Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 6:19pm

I would tell the truth.

First, I understand why your son did it and hopefully they won't confront him on it. But I think that it will model honesty as well as how to advocate for himself. As well as showing the teachers just how hard it is for him. I would tell the teachers he isn't going and why he isn't going. You have the right to make that decision for him and don't need excuses.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 6:24pm

I talked to Kyle's associate this afternoon. She said she's sees how hard Kyle tries in PE but how hard it still is for him. She offered to talk to the PE teacher and Principal and work out a plan for Kyle to still participate in Field day but have him do other things, not actually run races. I love her to peices. Kyle thinks that's a good idea too. I think its all going to work out.

Thanks to everyone for your advice.
Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 8:41pm

What a great person to have on your son's side....I hope it works out well for him.

Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:53pm

Wow that is great. Make it so it is successful and fun for him too. I am glad she was understanding and look forward to hearing how it works out.

Renee

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