When Is Enough Really Enough???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
When Is Enough Really Enough???
8
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 12:19pm

I guess you could say that I'm ready to pull the plug on the rest of Claire's school year. She is, once again, at home with me today. She went into one of her major catastrophic meltdowns this morning, and to be honest, neither DH nor I could cope with the stress of trying to force her to go to school (again). It would be one thing if we could reason with her, i.e.-"Only three more days of school and then you'll be a 2nd grader!" But she's lacks any reasoning skills. Every time we even discuss school, she starts screaming/crying/throwing herself on the ground. It's so sad to watch, and yet, it makes me really angry too. Why should my little girl suffer because of her out-of-control class???

Technically she should have gone to school today, Wed., Thurs. and had a half day on Friday. (We were planning on pulling the kids out early on Friday because of my niece's wedding.) Then she would return for school Mon. and Tues. of next week. Next Wed. is Field Day and next Thurs. is the "go to school for one hour to pick up your report card" day. Since DH and I fly to Atlanta on Wed., we were only going to send them the first two days, then drop them off at my mom's on our way to the airport.

Does it make sense to continue this battle for the little bit of school that remains? I mean, I want her to go to school (shoot- we're trying to get this house ready to sell and I have TONS of work to do), but every stinkin' morning is torture!!!

Okay...What Would You Do???

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:18pm

That IS the question we all ask ourselves.

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:20pm

Ohhhh Amy, I feel your frustration. My son started going downhill after christmas vacation. His rages flew wild. He was having one every night and most mornings. It got so bad I couldn't get him to go anymore (and I couldn't handle the rages either)

He stopped going completely around April. I have been Sarb'd (where they want to send you to jail or make you pay for the days he has missed) and everything.

Don't know what I can say, but only to say I understand. And give ya a {{{HUG}}}}

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:30pm

Dear Amy,

Well, I bet you know what I am going to say here... yup, keep her home. Do you have anyone who can come help play with her, take her on outings while you pack, etc.? Can you call in troops (church group, other friends) to help you with final packing? These are the times to ask others to pitch in, BTW. Moving is one of the worst periods of times for our kids. I hope to never ever have to move again...

The stress of everything must really be getting to her, and forcing her at this point is only going to escalate everything even more. There is just not much to be gained here from finishing these petering-out school days in terms of growth or her future!

So, if this were me, she'd stay home and I'd call out every favor ever owed me to help out.

((((((HUGS))))) If I were there, I'd be right over.

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 3:50pm

Amy,

For me the question is whether or not the absences will effect whether or not she progress to the next grade. If not then just keep her home. I would think you could talk to the school about why she's being kept home the last few days and she would be excused. But it sounds like she's hit her limit and can't really take anymore. If she isn't missing anything huge in those last few days, like finals, then an early exit from the school year would help tremendously.

Situations like this were why we started homeschooling Jade in the first place. It wasn't the only reason, but it was a big one. She was never, ever happy with public school and it was draining everyone, even her classmates. But with Jade it was a constant thing, and it didn't matter what class or program she was in, she just couldn't handle being in that atmosphere. Hopefully Claire will have a better time of it in the new school for second grade after you've moved. **crossing fingers for ya**

~Candes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 5:24pm

I wouldn't send her. I likely would make a bit of an effort each morning but if I saw a meltdown on the horizon I wouldn't. However, rather than reinforcing her for having a meltdown by staying home, I would likely cue her through asking appropriately not to go before a total meltdown and reinforce that. You can't always reinforce a request such as that but usually when children are comfortable at school they won't make that request.

I am sure all the end of the year stress and changes on top of all the move stress and changes are more than she can handle right now.

I would keep her out but I likely would try to use it as an opportunity to teach her some self advocacy skills of using her words to tell you. Even if it is "Claire do you want to go to school" "No!" Ok.

Renee

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 5:27pm

Good point on the absenses. I doubt with this few days left that it would be enough to have that big of an impact. I know if you go on a family vacation for more than I think 10 school days you have to do independent study work here in our area.

I would definitely communicate with the school what is going on. With everything in her life right now she can't handle the usual morning. If she seems open to it or you can work a way to get her there for part of the day in a positive way I am sure you would but right now since the kids really aren't learning much new anyway it isn't worth the stress I don't think.

Renee

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Registered: 04-28-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 9:45pm

Well here's my 2c. We pretty much kept Liam home one third of the school year last year (kindy in MD), and they STILL advanced him to 1st grade (even though he slid back into pre-k level academics as the year progressed.

But we didn't care as we knew we were moving after Christmas. We knew the next school year would be soooo different and that 1st grade would be positive and productive, and you know what....it was!!!

If you can hadle it (sanity wise) keep the kid home; Once you are here (hee hee nudge nudge, wink wink) we'll start her over and she'll have a brilliant 2nd grade. If you moved into our district Claire would probably end up in Liam's class, now woldn't that be freaky????

lol

Dee
xxx

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 12:09am

Thanks everybody...I think I'm going to go into tomorrow morning "assuming" that she's going to school and if I'm wrong we'll keep her home- again. We had to tell her 1:1 that we may not be back next year, and she's really sad that her time with Claire may be coming to an end. They are exceptionally close.

Her being absent shouldn't be an issue, and if they so much as try to call me on it, I'll be ripping somebody a new you-know-what. Since the district has been unable to provide my child with an appropriate substitute 1:1 when her regular 1:1 had to be absent, (causing me to give up my career to be available to keep her at-home & therefore safe) and since they have repeatedly been unable to provide her with an appropriate educational setting...oh yeah, come on Mr. Truancy officer, please call me!

I'm sure a lot of these issues are related to the change of medicine...I'll just try to be a bit more patient.

Again, many thanks-

Amy

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