We got our first call.
I would start off by very calmly pointing out that while your son has a disability, presumably his son does not. Therefore it should be his son avoiding contact and confrontation because his son has the skills to do that.
You know, from what I'm reading, I'm not seeing where you're family is carrying much fault. First, you've alerted the parent that your son has AS and has a much more difficult time socially than other children. You've told these parents that this will likely not change. The behavior you've described and witnessed has been, honestly, what I as a mom and teacher have seen, been normal boy behavior. I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing much here to berate you for. Do any other parents/teachers complain?I agree with the previous poster that it seems the problem is with the parents of this friend. I've always been a people pleaser, but it sounds like they are thin-skinned and are raising a thin-skinned child. AS and thin-skinned people don't mix well. I remember a Boy Scout meeting and watching another kid punching and kicking the heck out of mine. My son was fighting back, but looked genuinely distressed. As I was about to split them up they stopped, but I asked my son later if this boy picked on him like that alot. He said, "What do you mean?" and I explained. My son told me, "He wasn't picking on me. We were just goofing around."
It sounds like there is a father here who has some unresolved bullying issues in his own past.
yeah, the thing is it's not at school, it's happening at a different class. It's just sad that they're gossiping about my son being a violent bully, but I see them all, including the parents, at least once a week in the building, supposedly while the bullying is happening, and they don't say a word for a year.
He has started social skills classes at school.
The things he does that the father has noticed are the tiny things we wouldn't think about, like during a balloon game, someone wins and they all say the game is over, so the balloons are being hit around everywhere, and my son hits the other boy's balloon. The father was upset about that because that was his son's balloon and my son was bullying him. My husband is a teacher and watched the whole thing and said that was just how the end of the class was, balloons being hit everywhere. The other things are what the child reported is happening. When I see them, it's both of them doing things, they're both switching chairs laughing about it, or pushing each other lightly in line laughing, so I know it's not my son "violently bullying" their son. I told them I'd do what I can with my son and I'll go through each incident and make sure he doesn't do it again, but that he should also talk to his son about what he can do so this doesn't happen. The dad wasn't thrilled and said his son was only 9 and might not get it and started talking about going to the doctor to rectify the situation...
We decided scouts isn't right for him right now.