who corrects your child
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 6:32pm |
All this talk about families gathering for the holidays has me asking a question- when your are with people and your child says something inapproprate or misbehaves, who disciplines your child? Are you(the parent) the only one that your child listens to? Does it do any good to have someone else point out the bad behavior?
Son will listen to my parents, brother and a few friends of mine. These people will speak to him out of love. They don't yell or make disparaging remarks to son. Sometimes it's good for son to hear someone else voice concerns over his behavior. Son is more accepting of corrrections now that people want to spend time with him. Until recently people would not say anything to son because he was sooooo out of control. But these same people had plenty to say to me about his behavior. The change is due to meds, new school,therapy and the support of this board.
This past Christmas, son had a few meltdowns but was able to recover nicely. Family saw lots of growth in son. That was the best Christmas gift to me.

If I'm there and physically present in the room, I'm the only one he'll listen to.
Our family are all far away, so it's not something which comes up often.
The family will correct a happy child, and the correction will be accepted.
But if we are in a near- or full- meltdown situation, they back right off and let DH or I deal with it.
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Well at family party type situations we are lucky if he listens to anyone at all including me, but DH and I are the only ones with a shot at it and of us it usually has to be me if he is anywhere where near meltdown mode or overstimulation.
Not that the family doesn't try. they are just pathetically clueless when it comes to Mike and the are not helpful. Often if given the opportunity some in particular will make demeaning remarks or yell which makes things worse. Others will try to joke with him which usually makes things worse too because he won't get it. The only one who usually can direct him the right way is the parents of the other ASD kid and they will give it one try and if it doesn't work they get us.
Mostly DH and I are on super alert at family gatherings to hear the antecedents and get him out before it is an issue or before anyone else has the chance to intervene.
Renee
Dh and I...sometimes my mom, but that's about it. To be perfectly honest, I really don't appreciate others trying to correct our children, especially those who have no clue about ASD's. If one of us are around and somebody else tries to correct our children, our response is typically, "We're the parents. Let us be the bad guys."
Amy