Who do you call when you need help?
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| Sun, 05-06-2007 - 10:31pm |
There have been a lot of posts about horrible terrible days and mom's feeling out of control and down and overwhelmed and it made me wonder...who do you call when you need a break?
I am lucky to have a DH who will look after the kids when I need some time off (not nearly as much as I think he should but still he does it). And we are truly blessed that my parents live close by so they willingly carry some of the burden, though they are in their 70's so I can't use them too often. And my sister will sometimes watch them IF they go to her house (which is not the best place for two active kids) and IF I'm only going to be for a short amount of time. So I do have a safety vavle.
But we don't have a regular babysitter. I dream of finding some college student who is majoring in special ed who is willing to take on my kids for a few hours here and there. Someone who understands why I need them to come around and become familiar before I feel comfortable leaving. Someone who is mature enough to handle a outburst and mature enough to know when she needs me to come home NOW. Cause I know I can't just leave them with the jr. high girl from around the block.
Do you have good family support? Do you have babysitters? Do you trade kids with another mom of an ASD kid? What do you do?
Mostly I'm curious and also I'm trying to get some ideas for our own situation.
Thanks,
Heather

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Rina - Mothers' Centers are WONDERFUL aren't they?!?! I think that's what saved me when my oldest was a baby and I was a SAHM and knew NO ONE in my area. Gymboree moms were stuck up, but once I found Mothers' Center when he was just turning 1 - I felt so at home. I'm not so involved anymore as most groups tend to be around baby/toddler/preschool issues, but I do return when they have a Special Needs mom group.
My 11yo can be left home alone. He's a responsible kid, won't set the house on fire. He's happy to be alone (of course, he doesn't have to try to socialize then) and can make himself a snack if need be. The almost 8yo is in no way able to care for himself completely yet.
If I'm really sick with a nasty bug and can't get out of bed/off the couch, they are fine. I couldn't leave them alone together though - that's asking for trouble. I WISH they got along better so the older one could watch the younger one, but not for now....
Yes Mothers centers are great. I was a member for almost 9 years and very involved. I admit though even then I never realized Josh was a problem. He was well a good baby, no tantrums or seperation issues(not sure if that should have been a red flag) And even as he got older he loved it there. The child care workers were great and if a child did not want to seperate then the kid got to stay with you.
The group for the most part was non judgemental and if there was aproblem we did have a social worker
I would highly recommend it for any new mom or mom with small kids. And I am sure at this point of the game finding other moms with kids who are in the same "class" as ours could even be easier
Rina
We live states and hours away from any family. Thankfully, our kids are getting older. 15 yr old is a very good sitter (lots of families w/ boys call him to sit) and 13 yr old is ok. We've had to call a truce-- oldest 2 are babysitting youngest 2, middle asd kid is 10 and he's in charge of himself. he knows the rules and he is to abide by them. If not he's in trouble, but no one will tell him what to do while we're gone, but they can tell if he doesnt' do what he's supposed to do. Younger 2 can tell on the older 2 if they don't do a good job care taking, older 2 can tell on youngers if they won't listen.
We have some friends of the older kids to sit if the older ones are busy or we're going to something w/ them. some are good, some are not-- those aren't asked again.
We use the 'parents' night out' at church. They know Weston has special needs and they usually pair him w/ his older brother so that works well.
When our kids were younger and not able to be left alone we had a couple of really good teen babysitters. We would have them come a couple of times while we were there so they could learn the rules and how to put various kids to bed (they had very specific routines and a change could set one or more off!). One girl continued to babysit for us all the way through college.
We live in a neighborhood w/ great neighbors. 2 of my neighbors are SAHMs and willing to nab a kid off the school bus if I'm running late or take the kids on short notice if I have a meeting or dr appointment.
Betsy
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