Why do I feel autistic too?

Avatar for njbeachma
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Registered: 08-22-2003
Why do I feel autistic too?
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Thu, 08-04-2005 - 9:35am

Feeling a little blue lately and wondering if anyone feels this way too. Lately I've been feeling that DS is making me more autistic rather than me helping him to be more NT. He has programed me to avoid get-togethers with other moms (& their kids) for fear of an embarrassing incident. I rarely make eye contact with others when we're out because I've been trained to focus on the task then get out before an incident occurs. I'm so sick of explaining DS or defending him, etc. that I keep conversations short. I'm already anxious about a pool party at my next door neighbors house this weekend because there will be lots of kids there (whom by the way play together all the time and never invite DS). I feel I'm losing my ability to socialize and I've got nothing in common with my friends anymore.

Don't get me wrong, it's not always bad. DS has been fantastic this summer and is making great strides. I know the pressure of our impending move is adding stress. One of my goals for my new home is to be more social and "let more people in". I also want to ease off the focus on DS a little. It's consuming my life right now and there's little room for anything else.

Does anyone ever feel this way? I use to be a very social person with many friends but feel I'm slipping into Vaughn's world.

Shelley

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Avatar for njbeachma
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 8:14pm

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. It's always a comfort to know that others understand. I agree with Samantha in that time away with other adults is important and plan to get started with that. I had one "Girls Night Out" a few month's ago and it was GREAT therapy. No one really talked about their family, except for a few minutes in the beginning. We all should make it a point to do that more often...sometimes you cease to feel like an individual anymore (and that goes for all moms, not just SN moms).

Take care!
Shelley

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 9:59pm

Thanks for the reminder on Girls Nite Out! I am hosting my bunco group this month and it is next week, lol. That is my outlet and the one place I feel comfortable and hang with "normal" moms. The one that got me into it has SN kids too, and there is one other mom there with a teen who is very difficult (bipolar or similar I believe. Diagnosed late, pregnant early, that sort of thing), but other than that it is a mix of age levels and typical parents, oh and my mom. But it is great fun. Wish you all lived close and we could have our own bunco night!

Oh, on the older, you do start to realize it early as they get bigger. Now imagine seeing that behavior in a 9 or 11 year old. OY! Fortunately, Cait is just imature and odd. She will whine and annoy the bejeepers out of you perseverating on the infairness of life when in a mood, but she is never aggressive. It worked to our advantage this week. We were swimming in the pool at the campground when 2 teen boys obviously looking for a girl came by. Cait has the body of a 15-16 yo with at least size B boobs (constantly growing) is 5'4" and is a size 3-4. Well the boys were looking but somehow her insistance on pretending to be an animal, making her siblings be Sea World trainers and acting like a beached Shamu on the stairs was a total turn-off! LOL. That was one time some of the more embarrassing (where is my groucho marx glasses) behavior paid off.

Renee

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