Why don't others "get it"?

Avatar for bari1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Why don't others "get it"?
13
Mon, 05-16-2005 - 1:04pm
I am so tired of explaining my ds to everyone including my dh and my il's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 12:41pm

Hi!

Paula G. chiming in here! I don't post often but I read and I understand everything you're saying! Joel (9yo) is SID and ADHD with decreased social cognition, which makes him look very Aspie or ASD. We have a typical daughter (13, who is delightful, intelligent and socially savvy) - SO I KNOW IT'S NOT BAD PARENTING!!!!!!!

How many times have I felt stupid because of others opinion of my situation? The number of disapproving people I have encountered in 9 years is staggering! I have thicker skin now, I give information only on a "need to know" basis. And surround myself with other moms who know my experience.

Hang in there! You are not alone. Try to push out of your mind the concerns of others. Be your child's best advocate. He (she) needs you. Get the support you need. Concentrate on your goals - to provide the best opportunities for your child!

I'm with you - We're with you - even when the other don't "get it" !

Blessings, Paula G.

Avatar for sheila3xblessed
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 1:38pm

So you're an expert unless you're talking about your own kids? That would make me pretty upset too!

I'm guessing they just aren't ready to accept, or don't want to accept, that their own family member isn't quite "normal". Hopefully someday they will accept it. I think it'll happen sooner or later. There will come a point when they can't deny it. That's what's happening with my family members. It's getting to the point where they can't deny it anymore.

Hang in there.

Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 2:08pm

I'm realizing that I am so used to people not "getting it" and so tired of having to explain, that I avoid people and social situations. When I pick up David from school, I don't want to sit near all the other parents. I don't want to get sucked into a parenting conversation with people who can't possibly understand. Sometimes I feel the need to talk, and I'll let slip some little piece of information about how much work it is just getting through the day, or how I don't get enough sleep because my child stays up too late. I have to be careful not to say those things unless I'm prepared to feel like an idiot.

The other day, I took my 3.5 yo ds to the park, and some other parents were talking about how much easier it is now that their little girl is 3, and "knows who's boss". I hear this kind of stuff a lot. Parents sit around and talk about parenting like, "Oh, if you do X, the kids will do Y." I just want to say, "Well, actually, your child responds that way because his neurobiological make-up allows him to."

Evelyn

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