Will he ever truly communicate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Will he ever truly communicate?
9
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 10:25pm
My first son Gray is 3. He hasn't been "officially" diagnosed with Asperger's but I am pretty sure that is what he has/is. He is in a special preschool for children with sensory issues 5 days a week and he LOVES it. He is a smart and sweet little guy. He is excelling in school. In a couple of weeks he already learned his days of the week/months. Knows colors/shapes/letters/numbers etc. Knows ALL the songs! His obsession is marine life. Anything under the sea and he knows about it. With all of this though, he still doesn't seem to understand yes/no questions. He can answer solid questions, but if it is something like "How was school today?" Or "Would you like a sandwich or a quesadilla?" he can't answer it. He will either echo it back or not answer at all OR talk about sea creatures. As a baby I couldn't wait for the day that I could know what my child wanted or needed and i looked forward to being able to hold conversations. Now it seems like that day might never come. He just turned three last month, but it is so hard not knowing what the future will bring. Do your children talk to you now?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 10:47pm

Lucinda,


Let me tell you about 2.5 yrs ago I probably made the exact same post.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 11:22pm

My son Jeremy didn't speak at all until he was 3.


Mollie Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:35am

OMG I remembering thinking that EXACT thing when my daugther was nearly 5 yo. She was a bit more language delayed than most AS kids.

The other day my mom was visiting on Easter. She brought some candy over for the kids and I sent Cait out to the other kids with it just to get her to go away for a few minutes because she was talking so much she was making me NUTSO!!!!! She is like the constant conversationalist.

My mom laughed at me and said, Don't you remember when you thought she would never talk to you or have a conversation? what are you trying to get rid of her for? YOu should relish in this?

Funny but true. Very true.

Tonight I was at Bunco and I was talking to some friends I have there. Some know my kids have needs, some of the newer ones don't or perhaps I haven't shared what. One lady has been a preschool teacher and teacher for years. When I mentioned Cait was AS she said "I knew she had some mild special needs from talking to her but I NEVER would have thought she was autistic" ROFL! That is how far we have come. Caits eye contact still kind of sucks. She is a bit different and excentric but yeah, she has conversations. Loads of them.

Renee

Disney08

APOV on Autism
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 4:58am
It just takes time and more than a little scripting perhaps but it does happen. I have been working with my 9yo aspie for several years on "I love you". Last night on the ride home from O.T. he said to his sister "Thank you for the webkinz you gave me for Easter.....Oh, I love you Kelly!" I damn near ran off the road and hit a tree. No prompting, no special signs, nothing. All on his own. Yipeee! There is light at the end of the tunnel!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 8:15am
That is so great. What a cute story. It is really encouraging to hear these stories. Whenever I get Gray in the morning I get a big HI! But that is it. He's off! LOL! "Let's go downstairs!" And then it is off to get his favorite things. Right now he has a pair of kitchen tongs which are a "female crocodile" ROFL! This child doesn't need toys. He can turn anything into anything! I really look forward to us having a back and forth conversation. He has TONS of words and can ask/answer certain questions, but I long for the day when he is crying and sick to be able to tell mommy what hurts. Or how school was that day. Thanks everyone for sharing.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 8:32am

My son (who is now 5.5 dx-PDD-NOS) didn't talk til he was about 3.5.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 9:24am
Lucinda, I think there is alway hope for our kids.
Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 10:01am

Lucinda,

The short answer is "probably". There is a lot you can do to help him.

Some background: My son Peter was very like you describe Gray. Actually Peter was more delayed because he couldn't string a sentence together -even to talk about Thomas (his then obsession). I remember when he was about three, he led me to the kitchen because he wanted something. I couldn't figure out what it was. So I asked "Do you want a cookie?" "Cookie?" he said, and I -new to all this- took that as a "yes". Of course, he looked at the cookie, looked at me and started to scream.

He was in a special preschool at 3yo but his language didn't really improve. For his second year of preschool, I literally scoured the county looking for a program to suit him. I eventually found a preschool where the speech therapist was in the classroom all day, every day. Thanks to her, Peter finally learned to answer a yes/no question at 4½yo.

The school taught us a lot of stuff, like using pictures or objects for choices. So if the question is "Do you want a pretzel or yogurt?", hold each of the objects (or pictures of them), and present the visuals as a cue along with the words. Over time, you can phase out the visuals and he will be able to answer based on words alone. This will take time, but it works. And it is NOT cheating to use pictures. Most spectrum kids are visual learners. So at first they may point to the thing they want. That is good. You can reinforce the language by saying "pretzel?" and wait for confirmation (the word or a nod), and then give it to him. It does work. I bought a digital camera years ago, and I used pictures for all sorts of things: schedules, choices, conversation starters, stories... the list is endless.

I am going to go ahead now and answer your other post about school. Pete was in a special ed preschool for a half day (daycare the rest of the time) at 3yo. At 4yo, he switched to the full-day program I described. We were all set at kindy to send him to a special school. However during that summer he had an explosion of language and skills, and we worked with the district to put him into the special ed classroom in-district.

Peter is now in fourth grade. He is mainstreamed but still receives a lot of support (speech, OT, PT, resource room, an aide) Just recently I asked him if he would like some grapes. he said yes, and I got green grapes. He said "Thanks Mom, but actually, I prefer red grapes. I'm sorry. I should have told you..." So I got him red grapes!

He still has problems with open-ended questions like "tell me about your day at school" That is a very typical example of a question that will flummox a Spectrum kid because it is too big (they don't know how to pull out just the interesting stuff). Instead, I ask things like, "You had gym today, what did you do?" or "who did you play with at recess?" I find that once I can get him talking, he will tell me all kinds of stuff. They trick is to get him started.

I hope this helps. Hang in there. These years are pretty difficult and scary for Mom, but he definitely can learn language and communication skills.

-Paula


visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 10:37am

Oh yeah!