worried about picky eating
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| Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:26pm |
This is actually about my NT child, who will be 4 in a few weeks, but it's an issue that I think a lot of people will be able to relate to on this board. It's regarding picky eating.
I took Nathan to the doctor about two months ago for his check-up and I said I was concerned about how he eats. I can say for certain, that Nathan has not eaten any type of vegetable in about two years. He will not let a pea, carrot, or bean touch his lips. He will occasionally taste an orange or apple, if I cut it up, but if it doesn't look exactly right, he'll reject it. Hiding vegetables in casseroles and stuff is not an option, because he'd NEVER eat something that involves ingredients touching each other.
The doctor said we should make a little sticker chart to reward him every time he tries something new, or eats something he ordinarily wouldn't. After five stickers or so, he gets a treat that he really likes...that isn't given any other time. We chose a trip to Starbucks for a kid's cocoa, but that isn't working. He's gotten used to not going...but on the rare occasions when I take the kids to the shopping center, Starbucks is the perfect place for a drink while we're there.
There are other treats we've considered and rejected, like a video, or an ice-cream. The thing that is hard is the fact that I'm only supposed to give the treat when he gets enough stickers. Sometimes I NEED to give him/them a treat for my sanity. Sometimes I need to put them in front of a video or the computer. Sometimes I need to just say, "okay everyone, let's have some root beer floats."
The doctor wants me to update her on how everything is going, and I'm dreading calling her. I don't want to admit how hard this is. Nathan gets so unhappy when I offer him healthy foods; it's like I'm giving him a rock to eat. He rejects beautiful, ripe strawberries and anything that looks like it's an organic life form. My kid's dream food is a mixture of corn syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, and blue #6, all assembled into cartoon shaped blobs in a factory in what used to be a rain forest, and that uses forced child labor, and then shipped, in individual plastic bottles, in oil-leaking container ships across the ocean, trucked around the U.S. in refrigerated diesel trucks for thousand's of miles...you get the picture.
Does anyone relate to this? How can I get my child to at least let something nutritious touch his lips? Am I a lazy hypocrite for allowing my children to have cookies almost every day even though they won't try fresh green bean?
Sorry this is so long. If you got this far, your kids must be pretty busy! LOL!
Evelyn

First of all, I can attest to the fact that a kid who never eats vegetables can grow and thrive (my DS is 11 and potatoes are about the only vegetable he will eat.
Pat
Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. --
Evelyn,
I was a picky eater too, when I was little. I'm not on the spectrum, but I would only eat certain foods. I didn't like my food to touch either (still don't), but I'm not so rigid about it anymore. I preferred sweets, mostly chocolate!!! My mom was always making me eat foods that made me gag or vomit. Now that I have kids, I don't make them eat anything they don't want too. I do encourage them to try new things, especially if it has all the ingredients that they like! Sometimes they try it and sometimes they don't. But I don't worry about it. My boys are healthy, and they take their vitamins!
I had horrible eating experiences as a child. I don't want my kids to feel bad.....just because they don't like something. Kids go thru phases too. Tyler has widened his food groups, even without me introducing new foods. He tries things on his own now. And he knows that if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it. I think that takes alot of pressure off of him.
Nathan, on the other hand, is a very picky eater. When I want him to try something new....I have him smell it first. He knows, by smelling the food, if he's going to like it or not. So if he says no.....he MEANS NO!!! There have actually been occasions, where Nathan will CHANGE his mind.....and try a new food! I give him credit for doing that. It takes alot for him to try a food that he's not familiar with!
Michelle
It's a little late for this idea, but it did work with my NT kid, Blythe, who is also 4. We grew green beans and peas in our garden. I should have done carrots, too, but I will next year.
She helped me plant them, and water them, and pick them. And after I cooked them up, with some butter and dash of salt...she actually ATE them. It was shocking. I was thrilled. And she liked them. She has had them since, not the ones we grew, but others that I bought at the store and while she was not overjoyed with them (after all they weren't french fries or anything) she did eat some again. I really pushed the whole "you have grown these from seed" thing and it seemed to work.
Just an idea. But don't beat yourself up too much about the whole sticker thing. You do the best you can, when you can. And that's okay.
Good Luck,
Gemma
Evelyn,
I think you have to pick your battles. If you are finding the chart approach to be a nuisance, it is definitely not the option for you.
I have heard other parents say involving their child in preparing foods helps with fussy eating. I have also heard of families where they plan the dinner time meal to include at least one food the child loves (say mac and cheese or Ritz crackers with peanut butter) and at least one new food to try. The child gets a bit of each food on his plate. The child does not have to try a bite of the new food, unless he wants to, or unless he wants seconds of one of the other foods offered that night. In other words, you must eat a bite of each thing, before you get a second helping of anything. That was a bit too coercive for me. Plus, as an adult I wouldn't like it if someone made me try things that seem gross to me.
With my NT daughter, I was concerned that she didn't try new foods, so I started by saying she had to allow the new food to sit on her plate. I never insisted she try a bite, but whenever she did try something we made a BIG fuss (verbally) about it. Now she tries new foods quite often.
My ds onthe other hand is 3 1/2 and doesn't try new foods. I have too many other behaviors and issues to address with him, so for my own sanity I let the food thing go. He is growing and healthy.
I believe you have to choose your battles and your timing carefully. If this "battle" is too much for you right now and is making you crazy, save it for another month or year. LOL.
Chrissy
This is kind of the way we do it now. If there is something new, they don't have to eat it. It goes on their plate. If they want desert they do have to at least try it. Sugar isn't allowed here, so I have gotten really good at having yummy healthy things.
First, I would add new things that aren't that different from what he does like and the rest of the meal the usuals that he does. Try things you think he will most likely like but has never tried. Then you can get some success. Then it is just not even an earning thing, but common sense. It is your choice whether or not to eat the healthy things, but if you don't then no desert. If you are not hungry enough for dinner you are not hungry enough for desert.
Some ideas for food that is healthy and yummy. Well for soda we have found a replacement that is totally juice sweetened by knudsons. (at health food stores). To my kids soda is such a huge treat that alone can be desert. I make awesome smoothies out of frozen fruit, yogurt, and juice. If you freeze them they make great popsicles.
Jello or jello jigglers - use real juice with plain gelatin instead of packaged jello. You warm up one cup of jello on the stove to boiling. Add a packet of knox gelatin and desolve, then add a cup of cold juice. Stir and refridgerate.
There are fruit leathers available at many stores and health food stores (trader joes has them for about 25 cents each) instead of roll ups. My kids love them. There are ways to make your own too, but buying is easier.
various dried fruit tastes like candy. Or make a trailmix out of some good stuff and maybe add a couple candies to it to make it interesting, then coax him into trying the the nuts and raisens.
Most healthfood stores also have a wide variety of healthy alternatives to junk food. Some are pretty good. There are these mocha mix bars that are so awesome I swear they are straight chocolate and caramel but not so. Mostly soy.
Find what sorts of foods are his favorite. Does he like salty? sweet? If he likes salty you can take a wide variety of veggies (green beans, endame, asparagus) and sprinkle them with oil, garlic, salt and pepper and saute them until they are like little veggie french fries. These are great on the grill if you have a grill basket.
Fruit, does he like peanut butter? try dipping apple slices or banana in peanut butter. Or putting peanut butter on top of celery or other veggie/fruit and add raisin. We call it ants on a log.
Dipping is a great way to get kids to try new things IF they like condiments. (Cait is queen of plain Janes and this just grossed her out, but worked with the others)
If you tell me what kinds of food he likes (chips, soda, icecream, candy, chocolate, etc) I may be able to help you figure out some alternatives. I even have some great books on it.
Renee
Oh and make sure he takes a multivitamin at least. Then you really don't have to worry about it too much and can slowly change his eating habits.
As a woman consistently 20lbs over weight who struggled to lose 30 over the last year (still another 20-25 to go). Who eats organic foods and exercises regularly, I can say that changing thier eating habits while they are young is going to be so beneficial to them. Even eating right and exercising it still is way hard to get off. If I had eaten better younger, I doubt I would be having quite as hard a time as I am now. And I always ate my veggies, just lots of other junk with it.
Renee
Gemma,
We've only got a few square feet to work with out back, so we haven't done much gardening, but we're trying to grow a few things. I love that idea, and I REALLY would like my kids to experience growing something themselves. One problem is that my other child has a mood disorder, and before we realized he needed medication, he used to get manic (we thought it was extreme naughtiness) and pull tomatoes and flowers off of plants and gleefully hurl them at the garage wall. Or if I was outside watering, he'd come and "help". I gave up gardening at all until very recently. We just might have a couple of pumpkins this year and an ear of corn. LOL! (Funny, we have so little ground to plant in, and DH planted corn, pumpkins, and watermelons!)
Nathan was invited to help plant stuff, but it takes so long to grow that I don't think he makes the connection. We've never actually harvested anything, but hopefully we will before too long.
Evelyn