Would I be a busy-body if...

Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Would I be a busy-body if...
2
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 2:24am

I have two things that might make me seem like a busy-body, and I'm wondering if I should say something. First one has to do with a kid in David's class. As far as I can tell, the boy's only crime is being socially inept/annoying (who knows, maybe he's ASD). But I worry that perhaps David could use some guidance in how to deal with some specific scenarios with this kid, because I can see that something unpleasant might happen, and David might end up in some trouble. Should I say something, and look like a mom who interferes? (So far this year, I have had very little contact with the teacher; David is doing quite well, 2nd grade just naturally has less parent/teacher contact because of how it's set up.) I tend to think that too often, kids are left to deal with these things on their own, and that's not always the best. But, as far as I can tell, I'm in the minority. Would *you* give the teacher a heads up if you saw a potential problem?

And on a completely different note, do you all think I would look like a total busy-body if I mentioned to our school principal that every single day at pick-up time, I see parents driving away with their children obviously not buckled up in their seats? We live in a mandatory seatbelt state, and I watch kids dancing around in the backs of SUV's, reaching into the front seat...EVERY DAY. It bugs the heck out of me. It's unsafe, but also it sends the message, "The law doesn't apply to US." It's none of my business, and I suppose once they are off school property it's none of the principal's either, but I bet if she knew, she'd write a little reminder in the school bulletin or something. Or do I just need to get a life and chill out? LOL!

Evelyn :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 3:38am

Hmmmm. I'm new here so I'm not sure if David is on the spectrum???

Regarding issue #1, if I were you, I'd first discuss this with David (if you can??). If he's NT, he may be well aware that the other kid has potential to land them in trouble.

My autistic son has a trouble maker friend (who is very sweet and caring with my son). Anyway, we were worried about the potential for poor role modelling, but it turns out that my son will say to the naughty kid "you'll get time out if you do that". Perhaps David knows when to stop and how to avoid trouble. However, if David has ASD and you can't discuss this with him, discuss it with his teacher/aide and hear their observations on the issue.

That aside, the teachers are usually aware of who is influencing who. If you do raise the issue, it probably won't be any surprise to the teachers. Just make sure you keep the communication lines open in all directions.

issue #2. I very much understand how you feel. Here in Australia, seat belts are mandatory and most people wear them....but it kills me to see kids bouncing around loose in the back of cars. However, I feel that you'd be wasting your time saying something. The parents would already be aware of the law but they *choose* to disobey it. I also tend to believe that this type of parent would be one of those who would ignore the newsletters anyway. Or if they did read it, would continue to thumb their nose at the law.

Come to think of it, I'd be more inclined to link the child's behavioural problems with the parent's lack of care.

hope this helps

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 8:35pm

I would certainly give the teacher the heads up on a possible problem w/ David and the other student. What she does w/ this info is her/his own business, but at least you warned her. I'd also give David some strategies for how to treat this kid (don't know if it will work but worth a try), a social story might be a good thing here.

the parents who are stupid is probably not something that will help by saying something, but I would if it would clear your conscience, I doubt that they'll do anything to change though.

Betsy