WTH kind of comment is this???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
WTH kind of comment is this???
4
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:53pm

I was getting a facial and the woman who I have got to for facials for 10 year was telling me her son is gay. He is 11 years old, and dresses very feminine and wears make up. I was bring supportive because I know Doreen is very concerned about her son being picked on in school. Also, it takes some adjustment when you find out your child is different in some way, and it is normal to worry.

I had told Doreen several months ago about Ian's diagnosis (ASD) and we have talked about it. I have a lot of the same concerns about Ian that Doreen now has about her son- fitting in at school, life being more difficult because your child is different, etc.

So Doreen says to me "I would prefer my son have what your son has, than for him to be gay?".

OMG! I did not even know what to say. I am still floored when I think about it. I guess she does not understand fully the impact of being autistic and what a battle teaching my son simple things like even TALKING is.

Anyway, I just had to tell someone because I am so taken aback by the comment.

Marisol

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 3:57pm

Hi Marisol,


Sometimes I wish I had a little instant comments dictionary or something to help me respond to things like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 4:17pm

Marisol,

I could be a lame attempt to make you feel better with your lot.

Also because Doreen is an Irish Catholic name, I suspect there is a feeling at some level that it would be better to have a son who as a named disability -to be pitied (forgiven) in the eyes of the society (i.e. the Church), than one who may be percieved (in time) as a wanton sinner.

At the end of the day, no-one truly knows anyone else's motivations.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 8:31pm

Wow. That's really, um, disgusting. That is a woman that is more concerned with her own social comfort than her son's future. I wonder if she realizes how much of an impact she can have on his emotional health by her reaction? I really feel badly for her son.

Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 10:36pm
Don't feel so bad, my son's ped once said to me after I had raised concerns about his quirky behavior, " Don't worry, he may never have a prom date but he could be a millionare some day". I went home in tears to my dh. People say stupid things!
Teresa