WWYD About this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
WWYD About this?
4
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:16am

My 4 year old daughter is in a typical preschool 3 days a week. She has a TSS in the room with her to help as needed. The great news is the TSS says she is almost never needed and her job is very easy. She won't be returning after this year.

There is just one little problem the TSS and I are trying to figure out.

The preschool curriculum/philosphy is child centered/child choice, meaning that the children can CHOOSE to participate or NOT in any given activity. Not ideal for a kid with PDD I know but it is what it is.

Anyway, during music one day 3 of the little girls in her class got up and went to play in a corner of the room and did not participate with the music teacher at all. These girls are my daughters friends, and naturally she wanted to go be with them and play. GREAT! as far as being social, but her TSS said she AND the others should all be doing the music with the teacher. The main teacher does NOT stop any of the other children if they choose not to participate in something. She just lets them do what they want. So my daughter is the only one told "No, you have to stay here and listen to the music teacher, or do this art activity" ect. Should the TSS force her to do every single thing. I think she should be given a little freedom, but I don't want her to pick up any bad habits....but I also don't think she should be singled out.

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:41pm

Ok, so this is just my opinion...of course...lol.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:56pm

I am not a fan of forcing any child to do anything and I don't like TOO rigid of an approach. I like providing choices. There needs to be some flexibility. So while there needs to be expectations with our special children there also needs to be flexibility as well.

If your daughter wanted to go play with her friends and that is ok by the class standards then she should be allowed to play with her friends. The TSS could even monitor it and make it a learning social opportunity. It isn't like your dd wanted to go off and stim in a corner by herself. HECK in preschool my kids didn't have friends. THAT is fantastic!For a child who needs the structure and would prefer to just stim I would even build in that they could choose some alone time but it would be in such as way as there were still expectations on what they had to accomplish.

I think perhaps in this case the TSS is trying to find a way to justify her being there. She probably feels pretty useless. Perhaps instead of making your dd participate she could see if your dd chooses and appropriate alternative to the activity and then help her in that activity gain more social skills.

I am very impressed that your dd does well in a class like this. My son was in a preschool like that and spent hours riding the bike on the playground or just off by himself and nothing else. Could have done that at home and saved a ton of money! Other kids can likely handle an open type situation like this and be able to make the choices themselves. But some of our kids can't handle that open of a situation and left to thier own devices would be solitary the entire time.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:17am

Thanks guys. My gut was telling me the same thing. I mean if my daughter isn't disturbing the class but just going along with her peers and the regular teacher doesn't mind then I think the TSS should just let her go. The TSS and BSC are saying that when ALL of these kids from her preschool hit Kinder. they are in for a jolt! They can't believe the lack of structure there.

The only thing I do want the TSS to make daughter do is the art activities or fine motor stuff because she will NEVER do that unless you make her and she needs to do these things.

It's funny because the TSS and BSC have said that my daughter hasn't said anything about being singled out or told she can't do something when others are, and doesn't seem to get upset.....well, of course not!!! The kid is so compliant with almost everything! Inside she probably can't figure out why her?

I am grateful my daughter is doing so well with the social skills. She has come a long way from one year ago.

Thanks again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:28am

That's so funny! That's so true with PDD isn't it. "Please treat our kids like everyone else....by the way while in the classroom you need to yadda, yadda, yadda ,yadda. And it would be helpful if you give my daughter.....and she must have etc. etc. Thanks!"

Our kids are lucky in some ways. They have parents who REALLY look out for them and have become very particular.