Is your child affectionate?
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| Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:12am |
Hello,
My son has not been diagnosed but it is possible he has Aspergers. He has been diagnosed with SID and ADD has been mentioned, among other things (ODD, probably others) but there's more to it than that. I have been reading books and my son does not seem to have as many difficulties as some of the kids in the books. He's almost normal but then there are things. I will think for a while that everything is ok and then I realize, no, this is not right. I know that there is a range. This new book I'm reading, Eating an Artichoke, is really good so far but got me thinking. Her son is not very affectionate and my son used to not be as a baby but now that he's five, he really is. In fact, today he was laying by me and said out of the blue, "I love you mommy." And he will at times say "I'm sorry you are frustrated," if he sees me frustrated about something. But there are so many other things and times when he doesn't seem to understand others feelings.
What are your experiences with this?
Shelly


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Teresa
Hi. I liked reading all your responses; it is interesting to see how different they are.
Stpehanie (pyschiatry appt. Tuesday with possible Asperger's, ADD, anxiety, epilepsy and OCD) was never an affectionate baby and toddler. She rarely wanted to be held and wanted to get down and move and come to you on her own terms.
Today (age 7 1/2) she is only affectionate with me and sometimes her father. She doesn't like hugging anyone else. When it comes time to give hugs to grandparents, she lets them hug her, but she doesn't want to put her arms around them.
Lately she has been more affectionate with me. She'll just come up to me out of the blue and hug me, kiss me and ask me if I am alright. She can do this sometimes, many times a day. For bedtime, she has to have a routine which is sitting on daddy's lap for a short time and a hug from him. In bed she wants to kiss and hug me five times (her count) and then just hold a hug on me for the count of 9, then gives me a kiss, hugs me and says "10." She seems to like rituals. When daddy or I leave for work or go somewhere, she hugs and kisses us and as soon as we open the door she yells, "let me give you a hug and kiss one more time."
As for empathy, I am not sure. If I cry, she just asks what is wrong mostly out of curiousity and the same if someone is hurt she wants to be a helper and give me a bandaid, but is more curious about it. However, when another child cries, she cries with them. Even though the baby or child stops crying, she continues to have a sad face and tears. She isn't a loud crier either. I believe she is compassionate.
But if she cries, she looks at me, but doesn't seem to like to be held or comforted. It is like she wants to let you know she is hurt, but deals with it herself. If something is wrong, she doesn't like to tell us. She just shakes her head no like she won't tell us or doesn't want help. It is hard to know what to do sometimes or how to handle emotions. But lately when she gets hurt, she hasn't cried and just seems to tough it out. She seems like a compassionate, but tough kid at times.
Interesting topic.
Debbie
Dave is like that. He is very very affectionate. Sometimes overly so. He never had stranger or separation anxiety either. That was one thing actually that caused concern for me. What he would do though is shut down and become silent in places without me. But he had no fear ever of new people. Still doesn't. He is very outgoing which in a way is very good, but in a way it isn't (stranger danger, etc). Though he is borderline PDD-NOS, this is one of those areas where I still think he has just a bit of the spectrum in him. That and problems with transitions and "sticky Thinking" or his thinking getting stuck on something.
Renee
Shelly:
My 8 year old daughter, Theresa is high functioning PDD. She has been and continues to be a very emotional and affectionate little girl. Let's say she doesn't lack in hiding her emotions from others. She'll be the first one to run up to you to give you hugs and kisses or the first one to tell you that she's upset or angry about something. My family and friends constantly make comments to me on how exhuberant Theresa is.
I do continue to get frustrated when she's not feeling well and she doesn't tell me what's wrong with her i.e., what hurts, what's the matter, etc., etc., etc... it's like pulling teeth to get any kind of information out of her. But I've learned how to deal with that over the years.
I hope you find this a little helpful to you.
Colette
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