Quick update (removed OP):
Well, First of all it is so impossible to tell over the internet so I always recomend evaluation if you are even the slightest concern. We did even with my youngest and he is borderline PDD-NOS and ADHD but now is doing great. He did get speech at 3 through the school district and was in the special ed preschool class as a typical peer and had a behavior plan.
Actually Dave's was always a vague diagnosis and even his current one is provisional because the psychologist doesn't quite know where to stick him. Your ped confuses me because actually PDD can be milder than AS. So if he shows no PDD symptoms I have no idea how he can show AS symptoms. Some kids with PDD are basically AS with a language delay, but PDD is when a child doesn't meet the criteria for a more specific autism spectrum diagnosis so it can be subclinical.
What was most helpful was getting a full eval and really learning about his strengths and needs and treating even at home that way. Dave is a real sensory kid so we have done loads of sensory stuff. He is currently doing fabulous in K.
As for my 2 AS kids, they were both very very challenging at that age and obviously different. Cait had serious language, motor and social delays. Mike had significant behavior, sensory and social problems.
I would highly highly recomend an evaluation just to see where he is at though.
edited for the update!
hello and welcome to the board
Ditto everything Renee said..
I also want to make the point that kids with AS vary VASTLY. Try not to think of your brother as the posterchild for all things AS. I ran into that truck when my DD presented with completely different issues than my DS. It turns out that although they are chalk and cheese in many ways, they have almost the same DX. This world is a tricky one to navigate.
My son, Peter used to 'web' people too. It was funny when he was 3 and 4 -less so at 6!
I also encourage you to have your son evaluated by an occupational therapist trained in sesnory theory (you can probably do this through your school district). Although the psych said that SID is not an official DX (yet), that does not mean it does not exist and cannot be treated with therapy. For SID inparticular, the earlier you start therapy, the better. OT helped both of my kids (and me) enormously, and based on your descriptions I think it could probably help your boy, too.
HTH and good luck,
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My Cait did the fisting thing and even had some tremors and residual primitive reflexes as a toddler and preschooler. For her it is sensory though she does have an abnormal eeg, I think this stuff was sensory and the tremors, am immature neurological system.
As soon as she was able too Cait would always have tons of things in her hands. Typically her little plastic animals and she would just walk around with them. She still likes to have fidgets, plastic animals and such to hold onto and almost always has something. Particularly if she is stressed. But for her this is definitely a sensory type thing.
She also will do these things with her hands if she doesn't have something to hold. Kind of a wringing of the fingers or rubbing her fingers together. It is her stim.
But honest, at 11 and even for the last few years the way she does the finger thing, holding things and fisting, it is almost unnoticable. I know usually the teachers don't even catch that she is doing it and it works to focus her and help calm her down.
I just wanted to say "hi!" I remember you posting before. Nice to see you again!
edited for the update
Nathan had difficulty using scissors too. I used to draw out shapes, circles, squares and triangles...with a thick marker. And then I would have him cut them out. I did this just for practice around the house. Then we would practice the gluing too!! He would glue them to another piece of paper, and then sometimes color. He had difficulty drawing pictures when he was younger too, so we had to practice that as well!
Oh my goodness, my DD is hopeless at using scissors!!! She comes home from pre-K with all of these art projects that involve intricate scissor cuts, and I'm positive that the teacher does most of it for her. Even when we're playing with playdoh, with the little playdoh scissors, she thinks that the appropriate thing to do is to press the scissors into the playdoh to "make scissors." However she's definitely improving in other fine motor areas... She's learning how to draw circles, etc., rather than just scribble, for example. So I think that OT is making a difference with those sorts of things, and hopefully the scissors will come, too...