8 yo with aspergers

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
8 yo with aspergers
2
Sun, 07-26-2009 - 11:55pm

HI! My name is Heather. I am mom/stepmom to 4 kids. Skids are 12 and 8 and I have a 3yo dd and a 3 mo old ds.


Anyway, my sd was diagnosed with asperger's about 6 months ago. She lives with us full time, but everyone gets along and is trying to work together to help her.


I am mostly looking for different things we can do to help her at home. She is in a regular class in school and is a straight A student, but cannot hold a conversation or tie her shoes. She is going into the 3rd grade this year and will be changing schools. Also, her mother just remarried about 8 months ago and that has been a huge adjustment for her.


My dh and his ex divorced when sd was around a year old. Dh and I started dating when she was 3. She adjusted very well to our marriage and doesn't remember her parents divorce or life before dh met me. Her mom's remarriage has been a much bigger deal because she is older this time around and aware of what's going on.


Dh and i have a new baby and I know that should be a big change for her too, although she seems oblivious to her baby brother. We are also considering a move. Even tho it's only about 5 miles away and it won't change her school, church, etc I know change is a big thing for her.


So, I am hoping there is someone here that can give us some suggestions in general for kids with aspergers and especially for making big changes.


Heather


Heather

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 2:05pm

Scedulingis the best thing for AS children. WHile you are about to undergo a big change, turn it into a schedule. Write on a large calendar what to expect each day before the move and have her help you with the schedule. As far as conversation she probably needs to see a speech therapist. The school should really provide that. The therapist will tell you how to help her. It depends on what her udnerlying speech issue is as to how you go Don't worr about her lack of interest inthe baby. It may havenothing to do with the As and evrythign to do with her being 8 and not wanting a baby int he house too. I used to project that evrything they did was because of the As, but alot oftimes it sjut typical. As her therapist orthe ped if youdo't know.


By the way, kudos to you. You are a really good mom.(which is what you are to that little girl too. You are afterall the one who is rasing her)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 12:08pm

Hello and welcome,

I don't have any direct experience of the situation you are dealing with right now, but I can give you some more general advice about handling big changes.

Prepare for the change as much as possible and allow her some say and control in the process, where possible. For example, if you do move, make sure you visit the new neighborhood several times in advance and make sure she knows where she is going to be (which is her room and allow her to make some choices in decor and layout)

Also, some kids might have anxiety about practical "stuff". Make sure she knows that you have everything covered. My son would fuss about things like where we would sleep or buy groceries, and if I know how to get to the school from the new house. Even if we stay in a hotel on vaction, we make sure that *he* knows we know where to get everything. It sounds like a lot, but doesn't take long and it really helps to put his mind at ease.

Also, in a calm,quiet moment, talk to her about what might happen and ask her if she has any questions and concerns and address them. She might surprise you.

I hope this helps somewhat. You may want to re-post your question up on the top of the board, because not everyone scrolls down here.

-Paula


-Paula


visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com



-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com