aspergers, counseling, high school suspension and the police

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
aspergers, counseling, high school suspension and the police
15
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 12:04pm

I need help.

My DS (16yo, aspergers) is having a lot of difficulty with emotion, mostly angry, but other emotions too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005

Wow, what a huge oveerreaction!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004

Thansk so much for your reply.

Our experiance with this school district has been pretty bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005

Go get 'em papa grizzly bear!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004

UPDATE, or non-update, depending on how you look at it:

I called the counselor on Friday and left a message ( a nice one - I just wanna get my IEPs and testing reports back) and no return call.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
I am so sorry that your son (and you) have to be going through this. The counselor should have been a safe haven for him, and I'm sure that trust is gone now.

I understand to a point why schools need to take it seriously, but totally think they overreacted in this case. Let us know how it goes today, good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009

First, hugs to you...I know that doesn't do any good, but wow, what a hornet's nest that didn't need to happen.

Do you have an attorney you can call? It might not be a bad idea to have one looped in. (If you mentioned having one and I missed it, my apologies. I got all mad for you and wanted to respond fast!)

I can understand your son feeling betrayed. I believe counselors are mandated to report, but it sounds as though she misrepresented, both to your son by saying that what he said wouldn't go further, and to the school. (What I have never understood is that someone being accused of a crime can say anything to his attorney and it is protected, but not a child with a therapist or CPS or anyone.)

I can only imagine the fear and shock over this. Do you have a friend or a family member to be with you every step of the way? What I have learned, as I have had someone show up at my door after a teacher got ticked at us for complaining that she was cursing in front of my child (and it was witnessed by others even), is that it's really important to have someone with you every step of the way if possible, both as a second set of ears -- as it is sometimes hard to absorb it all with the emotions that are going on -- and to help advocate for you and your son.

I hope today's meeting yielded something positive. Come back and let us know. My thoughts are with you.

Lily

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
I am a school psychologist, and while I don't know the specifics of your situation or whether the school over-reacted, I do know that psychologists are required to report possible threats to the proper authorities, and schools, in the post-Columbine world, are required to take any and all threats seriously until it can be proven otherwise. Hopefully, you can find a resolution soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004

hi jlrob78

the unfortunate reality is that my son did not threaten anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004

That is awful- sounds like zero tolerance taken WAY too far!

Amy Mom to two lil monkeys and two furrbabies Barefot Books Ambassador: click for beautiful children's books and gifts http://www.barefootbooks.com/story/childrens-crafts-activities/driving_my_tractor_video/?bf_affiliate_code=000-0h69
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
I'm sorry you've had such an ordeal. Just for future reference, though, there are instances where a therapist can break confidentiality: if someone is threatening to hurt self or others (even talking violently about something someone wished would happen), court order, abuse, or third-party payments (insurance, Medicaid). The whole mandated reporting deal came directly from the Tarasoff case; they teach therapists to CYA as much as possible! It sounds like the intern actually understood your son, but her higher-ups took precautions. If you take your son to another therapist, go to a reputable one who is trained to counsel people with Aspergers as taken out of context, it could sound really bad, but understanding how folks with Aspergers can use colorful, descriptive language to express their thoughts and feelings goes a long way (we're literal about a lot!). If you go through a community mental health center, see if they have case management services. Sometimes a professional advocate for kids goes a long way...makes everyone realize they can't push your son around, and they better play nice! Good luck!

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