Aspie Daughter With Major School Problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2009
Aspie Daughter With Major School Problem
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 12:27pm

Hi Ladies,

Hey Chanel and thanks for your response. I sent you an email.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 03-11-2010 - 1:31pm

Hi Tenille,
Actually the first place you put your post was a good one as lots of times us members forget to look or scroll down. But also it has been a bit slow lately (maybe due to ivillage changing things recently).

But there is soooo much more you can get from the school, and basically they are passing you off, hoping you don't learn your child's rights regarding the law. They do that sometimes to save money. Sad I know, but it happens.

There is so much more I can say but it would take a huge post and I feel it's much better that you repost your school situation over on this board... It's an amazing site and these people can help you draft a letter to the school requesting they evaluate her for an IEP. Once this is put in writing they realize you are starting a paper trail and they can't just brush you off anymore. They will realize you are serious.
BTW, the reason you are having such behavior problems is because they aren't helping her with her disability. Once they have support put in place, and it's correct and accurate for her needs, then the behavior can get better. Then it's not so easy to just suspend the child like they want too. There are specific laws on what they can and can't do regarding suspension, but she needs an IEP in place first.
Good luck. I am over there quite often and my id is the same. I hope to see you there soon. They can help.

Edited to add.... also go read over on this site too. It is authored by a special education atty.


Avatar for ralenth
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 9:00am

Does she have an IEP at school? Or a behavior plan? I think you need to get both of those in place for her. Honestly, she sounds a lot like my son, who is 8. He's got an ADHD and ODD diagnosis, though we really think Aspergers or something else. For Alex, it's taken an amazing teacher to turn his schooling around. He's been getting sensory breaks this year, which have helped tremendously, and has had a behavior plan. His teacher, and the guidance counselor had a plan of attack, so to speak, when he started melting down. He also started on Focalin this year, and that has also helped.

To get an IEP, we had a letter from a doctor stating that Alex had ADHD and ODD, and because of it, he needed an IEP under the classification Other Health Impaired. The letter outlined some of the accommodations the doctor wanted for him, too (social skills group, mainly). For quite a while we were up against the school because Alex is very, very smart (he tested off the charts academically), but behavior wise, he just couldn't keep it together. For Alex, it wasn't a matter of him controlling himself - he just couldn't.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 11:03pm

OMG, your post sounds so much like my dd. I'm so afraid of her appt. with the psych (which is not until October) because she is now being treated for ADHD with meds, and they are helping with school work but not working, and her emotional outbursts are getting worse and more frequent.

MY DD is also in first grade and this school year has been a nightmare. We are looking for a DX and I'm at the end of my rope trying to figure out what to do. I don't want to enable her and do everything for her, but I also don't feel she understands what she should be doing all the time.

I wish you the best if finding out what is going on. Please keep us posted on here - I am also in need of answers and just knowing there is someone else out there in the same boat, somehow helps.

Good luck and again, let us know what happens... It is important for us moms in the same situation to lean on each other for support.