Concerned about dd's poss depression-A.S

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-1998
Concerned about dd's poss depression-A.S
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:07pm

Hi all,
I haven't been here for a long time, but I'm really in need of your

My dd is almost 15 and was diagnosed with AS when she was 7 through
the school district. We homeschool now (have been for 5 years now).
We (me, my dh, and 3 other children) moved to Idaho from CA juast
back in Aug '06. I know kids who have AS have a difficult time with
change, but she didn't seem to have a problem with it so much until
early last month. She misses her old friends back in CA, as well as
family (we all do),but she has made some new friends here, but says
she feels out of place and different, compared to them. She complains
that her friends seem to act "too old"---talking very
intellectually...says she can't understand what they're talking
about....things like that (she's had problems like this before). She
tries hard to fit in,but it's very hard for her.

She also can't let go of the past and constantly talks about how fun
it was when she and her friends were 9 & 10 and how they liked to
play hide and seek and things like that. She's kind of a kid in a
teenage body. At times, she does act mature, but then the next minute
she running around acting like she's 3 or 4 years younger.

Now it just seems like she's down all the time...if she isn't crying,
then she's constantly looking at herself in the mirror, always fixing
her hair, complaining that she can't do things right, and her self-
esteem is just really bad. I try hard to make her feel better by
telling her about the things she's good at (ie. cooking and piano),
but she never thinks she's good enough or pretty enough, etc, etc.
This goes WAY beyong regular teenage girl stuff. She does try
and "perk" herself up by cooking or playing outside with her 13 yo
sister or playing piano...but then she's back to feeling bad again.

Then....there's also a boy that she likes, but everytime she's around
him or his family (namely at church), she says she gets so nervous
that she feels physically sick and faint. I should also mention that
she's always been a very nervous, anxious child, and now, friends
and "crushes" have compounded those feelings. She just doesn't know
how to handle certain social situations.

Anyway, I know I must be rambling, but there are just so many
emotional things going on with her. I can tell right away when she's
down (her body language totally gives it away)and wants to
talk....but I'm to the point where I almost want to avoid her because
I know she's going to talk about the same thing....over and over and
over again. I feel like I'm such a bad mom.....wanting to avoid
her...but I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I did take her to the
doctors (he's very familiar with AS kids) and I'm looking into some
counseling for her,as well as a local AS group but I'm just feeling
so overwhelmed right now. Did I mention that I have a baby boy due in
1-1/2 weeks too...and I also have a toddler (23 mos), along with 2
other kids? I don't know if I can deal with anymore right now.

Well, thanks for listening to my long story. Do any of you have a
teenage girl who's dealing with similar things? I truly love and care
for her
(she is such a sweet girl), but I'm having a hard time with this. Any
advice would be appreciated.

Thank you and God bless,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:01pm


I do not have a teenage dd, but I used to be one...and maybe not on the spectrum (even though that is certainly possible), I did have depression.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 11:17am


I wish I had some deep insight, or great advice...but I'm afraid all I can offer is a hug. This has got to be tough on your whole family. I hope the counseling helps, or at the very least, gives you some direction.


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